The Outspoken Mom Blog

The Country is calling

Good Morning Everyone!

Sorry it has been a few days since I wrote, summer vacation tends to be busy in the Schwab house!  Our 5 year old is at VBS, and our son is down on my 'real' dad's farm in southern Minnesota.

So, after hearing about my son's day yesterday and hearing about their plans for today on the farm, it is very clear to me what living in the city does to our children.  Or maybe I should say what they miss out on living in the city.

The city was meant for adults, teens, elderly, NOT children, especially boys.  Children need freedom, they need to roam, they need to explore, they need to experience nature.  Living in a large city with small lots, there isn't a lot of space to explore, especially when there are few children in the neighborhood to explore with.

Let me give you an run-down on his day yesterday.  He got to the farm around 10am and went to bed around 10pm.  In that time, he played with the kitties, planted plants, went on a motorcycle ride, swam at the community pool for a couple hours, roasted weiners over a bon-fire, went fishing, and played.

Today some of the plans they have are visiting the neighbors horses, playing with the kitties, fishing, swimming at the local pool, gathering eggs from the chickens on the farm next door.  Then, I am sure they will have another fire, do some more gardening, probably another motorcycle ride or a scooter ride, and who knows what else!

My son is happy, free, and loving life.  He is only inside to sleep and the only TV he has watched was a movie this morning while he waited for everyone else to wake up, since he woke up at 6am!

Children need that freedom!  We are blessed because my husband's mom has a cabin up north that we go to often in the summer.  So, my son drives a boat around, fishes, swims, and just is outside.  I think it is so important for children to play outside and especially important for boys.

Children don't need organized sports, they should be able to do a pick up game or just go to the park and play catch with who ever is there.  That doesn't happen anymore.  It still happens in the country but, not here in the city anymore.

Parents are afraid of abductions, afraid of their children getting lost or hurt.  Parents are working so their children are in daycare all day.  I don't think we realize as parents how much of our children's childhood we are stealing from them.

You only get to be a child once, we should embrace their childhood and everything that comes with it.  That includes all the scrapes, broken bones, fish hooks in fingers, dirt/mud, you name it.  Children are great, they by nature have an explorer attitude and it is part of how their brain and body needs to grow.

Now, I know we all don't have a farm or cabin we can go to and many of us live in a city so, what can we do to let our children have some freedom? 

Send them to camp!  There are a lot of day camps, over night camps, and specialty camps.  They can go to camp for horses, arts and crafts, water-skiing, and Bible time.  There are even camps for children with diabetes, AIDS, gluten-free camps, wheelchair camps, you name it, there is a camp out there and chances are there are some pretty great camps very close to where you live.

If you can't give your children freedom at home, give them the freedom at camp.  Or take a road trip!  We live in a great country for road trips and there are still some great areas within a days drive from everywhere in the US for exploring, adventure, and nature. 

Upper Mid-West people go visit Duluth, MN, Mt. Rushmore in SD, Mackinaw or Madeline Is in Michigan, or the windmills in Iowa.

West people go visit Napa Valley, Victoria Island, WA, The Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Aspen Valley and the Continental Divide in CO.

South people visit the Bayous in Louisiana, Indian Mounds Wilderness in TX, or Talladega National Forest in Alabama.

Eastern people....for one...move out of the city!  Ok, just kidding.  Go visit Maine, just visit the whole state, it has so much to offer!  Also visit any of the many Civil War Battlefields while they are still around!  There are some in MO, KS, VA, GA, SC, WV, and PA. 

Central US people one of my favorite spots is Atchison, Kansas.  Go visit Benedictine College on the bluffs on the river and look across the the river valley.  It is beautiful and I am sure some of it has been built up in the last 18 years but, it is still not touched too much.  Plus, Atchison, KS is the birthplace of Amelia Earhart.  Visit St. Joseph, MO just about 40 minutes away to see where Jesse James was shot.

I know there are many more places in this beautiful country of ours to go visit.  Take the time, go visit them.  Let your children explore, let them learn about the history of our country and let them be free!

Get your toddlers out of their strollers and off their leashes and let them run free.  Get your boys outside and have them look at different leaves from all over the US or teach them about our country.

OH!  Also, when or if you do a road trip, I would strongly suggest doing 'no chains'.  That means no fast food, no chain restaurants.  Steve and I did that last summer on our family road trip to a dude ranch in CO.  We had great meals, they were cheap and we stopped in weird and random places we normally would not have.  We never had a bad meal either!

I need to go get my daughter and get outside!

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Home Sweet Home

Good Morning everyone!

Wow, does it feel good to be home!  I love vacation and it is always hard to leave what I call 'fantasy land' however, walking in the door of my home no matter what the weather is, wow. 

We got home last night from 15 days in Sanibel, Florida, at midnight(before daylight savings) it was so great.  It was a wonderful place to be.

I think it also helped that our sitter/housesitter cleaned up our main floor so, it was really nice and clean when we walked in the door...no clutter!  I LOVE no clutter!

Steve and I put all the children to sleep, who by the way, were PERFECT on that late night flight!  Seriously, they all slept and they all woke up joyfully when we got off the plane!  So, we put the children to bed and we crawled into our bed and we both just sighed.  It felt so good to be back in our own bed!  LOL, however, we have a Select Comfort bed and our sitter had adjusted Steve's side from his normal 'hammock' bed to a normal bed and he was so uncomfortable until he could find a good number again.

We just looked around at our empty bedroom walls, laid in bed, and thanked God for the opportunity we just had to spend with our children and eachother.

I think it is so overlooked how important it is for the children and the parents to spend one on one quality time with no agenda, no schedules, no school and nothing but, fun in the sun, or the slopes, or the forest.  It doesn't matter when, it doesn't matter where but, it matters that we all take time with our children and our spouses to get away from real life for a while.

Our 5 year old really cried leaving the island, and at the airport, and when we got home last night.  We couldn't figure out why she was so upset and the rest of us were fine.  Well, she is the only one just in school 2 days a week and she only gets to see her brother and sister some nights and on weekends.

She had her best friend (her sister) and her brother, and her baby sister, her mom, and her dad all day and night for 15 days without school, activities, or life getting in the way.  Now, she has to come back to the 'real world' and be without them again.

Yes, she has me all the time and she has the baby but, it just isn't the same.  I really feel for her!

I think life for her will be a bit better when she starts Kindergarten next year and is able to feel like a big girl and have her own friends, her own hot lunches, her own homework.

I think many times as parents, we forget what it is like to be little and how much those little people really value family.  I think we often forget that they are little!  5, 6, and 7 are still LITTLE!  We tend to give them a lot of responsibilities, schedules, and organized events.  We forget that little people need down time, they need unstructured play time, and they need their family.

I don't understand the rush to have these people grow up so fast.  My son is going to be 8 years old in April and I can't believe how fast time has gone by.  It really does seem like yesterday that I was a mom for the first time.  I had no clue what to expect or what I was going to do but, I looked at that little guy in my arms and knew nothing was ever going to be the same and my life just took a pretty significant turn....for the better.

I cherish my people.  I love them so much and I am SO grateful Steve and I have made the sacrifices we needed to make so I could stay at home.  It was a joint decision and quite possibly the best one we have made so far as parents.

I can't say this enough but, they grow up way too fast and they need family around a lot!  Take time for your children!!!!  You can't get that time back when they are older and ugh, heaven forbid anything should happen to either you or your spouse and you don't get to watch them grow up.  My husband's dad died just before my husband turned 12.  Life doesn't promise anything. 

My husband always says, "I have never heard someone when they are older say,'I regret spending too much time with my children.' "

So, take that vacation, that long weekend, or just hunker down for a weekend and cancel all activities and hang out at home.  Or, if you are really adventurous, sit down with your spouse, look at your finances, figure out how much money you REALLY need to live on, get rid of that 2nd car(we have only had one car for 3-4 years now) quit getting your hair done at those fancy salons, quit those facials and waxes, STOP shopping at Lund's and Byerly's (except for once in a while), cut back your clothing spending, get rid of your 100+ channels of TV, stop eating out and quit your job!  Stay at home with your children.  It is do-able.  I promise, it is a lot easier than you think to cut those things out.

Your children are only children once and these are the formative years.  Be the one who forms your children, don't let the world get to them and decide how they will be raised. 

Blessings to you all and so glad to be home!

By the way....anyone up for a 'girls night in' and a couple bottles of wine????!!!  :-)

-Liza

You don't need to apologize for family time.

Good Evening Everyone!!

OH how I have missed all of you.  I am on vacation in sunny Florida and I haven't been able to get onto my blog.  Finally my husband has let his laptop out of his sight long enough for me to use it for a bit.  I was so sad to see that a couple days this week not one person read any of my blogs :-(

I know many of you read my blog daily so, apparently when I am gone and not writing I am out of sight , out of mind.  Oh how easily I am forgotten.  LOL.

So, we are on our annual family vacation in Sanibel, Florida and we are having a great time here and  reconnecting with each other.  It is wonderful not worrying about schedules and school, work or anything else.  Our family really relaxes and we spend time together just hanging out swimming, collecting shells, playing on the beach, playing games, just being together.

We often have to explain ourselves to our children's school each year as to why they are going to miss 2 weeks of school.  Last Friday when I went to pick up my son from his school, I told them he would be gone for the next 2 weeks.  My son then says, "Yep, I will be gone for 15 days."  Well, the office lady promptly looks at me and says, "15 days?  You can't be gone 15 days, we will have to release him from the school then."  Meaning, he will be expelled from school and need to repeat 2nd Graderk.  I looked at her and said, "Uh, we talked to the principal and he is only missing 9 days of school." 

Hello?!!!  Did she not think we had already talked with the Principal and told him and the teacher?  And since when is it too important for a 2nd grader and a Kindergartner to miss 2 weeks of school?  Now, I understand they will miss some things however, we do homework down here and we fully expect our children to devote some time daily to their studies while we are down here. 

But, we also believe it is just as important to reconnect as a family.  My husband tends to sometimes work long hours.  There are some days he never even gets to see the baby because he left before she woke up and came home after she went to bed.  Then, you add in family activities and school and just plain life and sometimes, family time is very little or non-existent.

We need this time each year to catch up with our family, to connect with the children and  frankly, just to have nothing to think about for a while.  As long as our children continue to excel in school and don't fall behind, we will continue to pull them out for 2 weeks each year to be together.

I think it will be especially important as they start to grow up more and spread their wings more and we get less and less of their time.  These are the formative years and frankly, I believe my husband and I are doing the right thing.  We want to be the biggest influence in their lives in these early years and we want our children to continue to value family time as they get older.  And if it takes them missing 2 weeks of school each year to do it, well, so be it.

Stand up for your family time!  Stand up for your children.  You are their parents...no one else is and sometimes, you can't always follow the rules when it comes to protecting that precious little time we have with our children before they are grown up and out of the house.

Now just so you all know, we do strongly value education and so do our children, however I believe sometimes education isn't only to be had in the classroom.  You can learn a lot from going other places too.

Blessings to you all and please excuse my typing...my husbands laptop has some really interesting'tricks' it does.  Like, when you are typingg and all of a sudden it pauses and starts typingg in some other random sentence up the page....yeah, it's neat but, at least I have a laptop to use on vacation!

Greetings to you all from Sunny Florida and I hope to be back to the blog for more soon!

-Liza

I am still here.

Hi Everyone!

I am sorry I haven't written in a long time, I just haven't had the time and when I did have the time, I wasn't so inspired to write about anything in particular.

I am still not really inspired however, it has been so long since I wrote that I thought I better find something to write about!

Hmmmm, still searching for that something to write about....searching, searching, searching....

Ok, I have to tell you all, I have not been very focused lately as all I can think about is our upcoming trip to Sanibel Island, Florida.  I love this trip and really for the month prior, it is all I think about.

Usually the day the Christmas tree comes down, the suitcases come out and the packing starts.  This year however, between baby, hectic schedules and all of the new rules about luggage on the airlines, I am just starting my packing now.

As many of you know, I am cheap, I mean really cheap!  I just don't like spending money and I really don't like getting nickled and dimed.  So, this year, it is making me crazy trying to decide, do I ship a bunch of stuff, do I make everyone carry as much stuff on the plane as possible, maybe each person wears a couple layers?!  OH, I like that idea, that is a new one for me :-)

Now, we are flying Sun Country so, the baggage fees aren't nearly as high however, they have changed the size suitcase you can have...62 linear inches.  Ok, that may sound big but, linear inches is height/length/width added together!  That isn't very big.

If it was a box...it would be roughly 20x20x20.  So, we have 6 people, we normally bring 2 large suitcases and my husbands old hockey bag and then the children bring whatever toys, books, games, and homework in their little roll on carry on bags.

Well, this year, I am making them carry their clothes and stuff in their carry on bags and we have one duffle.  So, that means, no beach toys, no lifejackets for the ocean, no boogie boards, no beach towels!

However, I am discovering that it also means, no toys for the children for the 15 days we are gone, beach or otherwise, and no homework...hahahaha, that is not going to work.

So, I am back to the drawing board of how to get our things down there without spending a ton of money either on new luggage or on luggage fees or on shipping fees.

It is crazy and driving me nuts.  Plus, now we have to pay for the food our children are allergic to instead of getting it for free.  We can't really bring our own food on board anymore unless we buy it at the airport however, we are flying out of HHH (our little airport) so, there is only one place to get food and it is usually sandwiches, muffins, and bagels.  Great stuff however, not good when you can't eat wheat or dairy.

So, I hope that explains a little bit as too why I am so pre-occupied right now.  I promise, however, I will get some good blogs up and soon.

Stick with me :-)

-Blessings to you all,

Liza

A time to be grateful/thankful

Hello!  I am finally back!

I survived Disney World and the plane ride there and back with an infant and a 5 year old however, came back to a computer that was completely paralyzed by a virus.  (I am trying not to blame my husband) So, after a week of no computer, here I am again!

Which, by the way, so many different blogs have run in and out of my head since then.  I don't even know where to begin.

Well, I will give you a quick run down of some of them.

First, I think I might have figured out why I am so afraid of flying.  I think I am afraid because of the cattle car type feeling I have sitting in coach and how the flight attendants give you little or no attention and I feel like such a 'nothing' flying now.  See, I used to fly a lot growing up and after college I had 2 jobs that found me traveling a lot.  One, I was working for a travel company booking other peoples trips and I worked for one of the airlines so, I flew a lot on our employee passes and two, I worked for a company doing their company trips for clients.

So, because I traveled so much, and it was before 9/11, I frequently flew with friends, co-workers, the airlines, knew we were business travelers so, we were treated much better plus, most of my flights were in first class.

Well, on Thursday morning as we were checking in for our Sun Country flight, I was very fearful of flying with my 6 month old and my 5 year old without my husband.  Then, I see the sign on the counter, "$99 First Class Upgrades"  I asked if there were any and there were so, I promptly upgraded. 

It was wonderful, I felt like I was home again!  All of my fears of flying seemed to vanish immediately and I relaxed, and enjoyed the flight the same way I had enjoyed flying when I was younger.  I somehow felt safer and I didn't feel like a nobody.  The flight attendants talked to me and my daughters almost the entire trip, they were very helpful and were so grateful for us to be on their airline.  (That is a whole other issue for those of you who don't live in Minnesota)

My fears weren't completely based on bad people, they were also based on my discomfort in coach, the tiny seats, the bad food, or lack there of food and a very absent flight crew.  I realized that I had always felt comfortable as long as they were around, if they weren't around, or I hadn't seen them in a long time, I would panic. 

No panicking on my flight down and on our flight home, I made sure I had bulk head seating so, I was in row 4 on the plane, the only rows ahead of me were first class.  Somehow for me, just being that close and being able to see the flight attendants up there kept me calm again.

So, I will have to remember those $99 upgrades and/or hope for bulkhead in my future travels.

Our trip to Disney World was great.  The weather was very cold though.  My poor 5 year old shivered most of the time.  Plus, my mother keeps her house at a freezing 64-65degrees all year round and our home is always a super comfy 71-72 degrees.  So, at night when the temp would dip into the 30's outside, my mother kept the furnace off so, my daughters and I would lay in our beds and shiver. 

She couldn't believe we didn't bring warmer pjs.  Well, in our house, most of us sleep in undies or t-shirts, the baby is the only one who sleeps in a sleeper.  I guess I should have known in Florida I would need winter pjs! LOL.

I will say if any of you get the opportunity to go to Disney World/Magic Kingdom, have lunch in Cinderella's Castle!  It was so neat!!!!  It books up though, you have to book it at least 6 months in advance and it is pretty expensive but, well worth it.  The food was fantastic, great choices, they met all of our food allergies head on and had gluten free pasta for my daughter and a choice of soy vanilla ice cream, rice vanilla ice cream or sorbet for her dessert!

Plus, they sang to her for her birthday and each girl got a wand and the boys got swords and the princesses walked around taking pictures with everyone.  Not to mention that you overlooked the rides behind the castle and it really feels like you are dining in a castle.  Plus, the service was terrific.

I would also recommend spending the extra money to do the special nightly things at Magic Kingdom.  This time of year the park is all decorated for Christmas a there are some select nights that the park closes at 7pm and you can purchase special tickets to a truly magical evening.

It was snowing on Main Street!  All of the employees are dressed for the holidays, the shops are all playing Christmas music and Santa is even there for Christmas photos.  Plus, there was a great parade with all the characters singing carols and Santa at the end.  Then, shortly after the parade, the fireworks.  First let me say, the castle was draped in lights from top to bottom and it was so beautiful!  If I can figure out how to upload a photo I will.

I have so many more things running through my head to write about but, I am so tired! 

Before I leave, I want to tell all of you to have a terrific Thanksgiving tomorrow and take the time to sit down and really think about all the things in your life you are Thankful for.

I know my list is long but, a few of them are, I am thankful for the addition to our family Libby.  She has been such a blessing to us.  I am thankful for great friends, a fantastic husband and wonderful children.  I am thankful for a job for my husband this year, finally after 4 years of unemployment and I am thankful for a church that feels like home and the people inside that feel like family.  I am also very thankful for the opportunity to see Disney World through my children's eyes and to be able to bring them there.

There are so many other things I am truly Thankful for, what are some of your things you are thankful for this year?

Many wonderful blessings upon all of you and I will write again soon.

-Liza

Fear

Good Morning everyone!  Sorry I missed yesterday, I was sort of busy and frankly, didn't really know what to write about.

We had church in the morning and then baking a cake for my daughter's birthday party and of course the Vikings Game...GO VIKES!  Yes, I only watched the 1st half and they were great then, so glad we had to leave so I didn't have to watch them fall apart again.  I love them but, they break my heart every year. 

We had my daughter's 5th birthday party last night at Chuck e Cheese.  It was great, she had a blast and I hope her friends did too.

So, friend party, check, Family party Tuesday before we all take off to different activities(her real birthday) and Thursday morning off to Disney World for her big trip for her 5th birthday from my parents.

Which leads me into todays blog:  Fear.

Fear of what, the unknown, the traumatic, the unavoidable, the things you can't control, where does my fear lie?  Pretty much in all of it.  I know that fear is of the fallen world and not of God's world.  I know it is Satan that puts those thoughts and fears into me.  I know I am fallen.  It is so hard to fight the fear.

I have a pretty big doomsday view of flying.  I have known many pilots and flight attendants over the years that have tried to ease my fears, some have helped although, I always listen for those 3 dings and when it gets to 2, I just KNOW I am going to hear that 3rd one.  I haven't ever heard it...yet.  See, there is the fear.  I pray I never hear that 3rd ding.

I was pretty OK with flying again and was actually starting to forget my fears for a while since I had traveled for a living and was really getting used to it all.  Then, what happens, September 11, 2001.  That day put me back worse than I had ever been about flying.  Now, it wasn't the machine that was going to hurt me, it was the people on the machine.  I would be trapped with horrible mean people, what would they do to me?

Oh, the scenarios have all gone through my head of what these evil people that Satan sent would do to me, to my family.  That our last moments would be filled with an insane amount of fear and pain.  Now, when I fly, I look around at the people, praying the God will give me the wisdom I need to back out of that one trip or one plane that is filled with bad people to do bad things. 

I used to just pray for the ding of the seat belt sign to relax as I have been told many times over the years, airplanes don't just fall from the sky.  Now, I have this insane fear that once the seat belt sign goes off, chaos will irrupt.  So, I sit there, I pray, I watch, I pray, I tense up, I wonder, I FEAR.

I am not praying to the Lord because I love him or because I want to be more like him, I am praying with him just to make sure I am covered just in case something happens.  FEAR.

I don't relax and know that all is well in the house of the Lord and if the Lord is in my heart, all is well.  If I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, all is well.  I don't give my fears to the Lord.  I fall, in the fallen world.  I let the sins of this world get to me.  I don't put my faith in Jesus.  FEAR.

I actually question my beliefs, I start to question heaven, I start to question GOD!  FEAR.

I do all of these things while hiding my true emotions from my family, my children, and others.  After I let those horrible people put more fear in me, I now fear both the plane and the people.  I am letting Satan win.  I am letting those horrible people win.  I am letting the fallen world win.  FEAR.

I let me fears of the unknown hit me, I let my fears of happiness interfere with my life, I let my doomsday belief that I was never meant to be happy come to my head.  I start to believe all of the fears my mother instilled into me, I FEAR. 

I fear I will not see my children grow up, I fear my husband will fall apart without me, I fear my 2 children I am leaving behind will forever be horrifically scarred by losing me and their younger siblings, I fear some other woman will raise my children and she will love them more than me.  I fear she will be nicer, better than me.  I fear no one will really miss me.  FEAR.

Why do I let fear consume my life?  Why do I not just let go and let God?  Why do I let Satan into my life? 

As I get ready to travel on Thursday morning to Disney World, I ask that all of you pray for me and my 2 younger ones.  Not only that we will be safe but, also that I will not let Satan and this fallen world get the best of me.  That I will push my fears aside and look at that airplane ride from the eyes of a child.  That I will think of them, not myself.  That no matter what, I will believe in the Lord with all my heart and all my mind.  That I will not claw the armrests with each bump.  That I will not judge people by their looks or actions.  That I will not think bad thoughts.  That I will not ruin this wonderful and magical experience for my girls.  That I will not let FEAR win.  I will not be fearful.  I will be joyful in all that I do.

That I will not dread this trip but, will rejoice in the fact that I am blessed to even be able to do this trip.

Now, I ask you, where is your fear?  What do you have in your life that you need to give up to the Lord?  What do you have that you need to let go of?  Where is Satan pouring his hate into your life?  Where is your fear?  What will you do to stop your own fear? 

I don't have any answers only that God is good, all the time and all the time, God is good.

Oh....leaving Thursday on a trip, probably no computer access so, I WILL be back late Sunday night or Monday with hopefully some fun/funny stories.

Blessings to you all,

-Liza