The Outspoken Mom Blog

I like blue legs.

Good Morning Everyone!

I only have a few moments before my people start waking up but, thought I would click off Farmville(on facebook) and do something productive and good for my brain. 

Ooh, I hear people, I need to hurry!  This is going to be short, sorry.

So, yesterday I was telling my husband I realized something that was funny and yet pathetic at the same time.  I had gone shopping at the outlets last Friday with my girl friend on our way up to the cabin for a girls weekend.  It was only my 2nd time up to our outlet malls because well, as many of you know, I rarely leave my bubble and I truly despise backtracking.  Since the outlet malls are about a 40 minute drive away and are about 5 miles past the exit to our cabin, well, you can see why I have only been there twice.
Last time I had been there was right after my son had been born and I needed some 'fat pants' to fit into until I got back down to my 'normal' size.  Oh how I long for the days to even fit into my 'fat pants' now! :-) 

Anyway!  So my girlfriend and I went shopping for ourselves and our children up at the outlets and I was thrilled that I got a pair of jeans, a cute sweater, and 2 shirts from Banana Republic for $94.  Which, as I typed that, I didn't feel that was a great bargain but, knowing how expensive the sweater was regular price($85) I know it was a great deal.  Well, I wore the jeans home from the cabin and then again a day or two later.  I couldn't figure out what in the world was happening!

My white bench I sit on for the computer was turning a light blue, my right hand I was really freaked out about because my fingers looked like they were turning blue and I thought it was from lack of circulation.  I watched my hands throughout out the day and ran them under hot water as much as possible, which made the blue go away so, I assumed they were just blue from being cold.  hahahaha.

Finally, I figured it out.  I took off my jeans that night and my legs were blue!  Yes, pretty blue especially around the top of my thighs, what in the world?! OHHHHHHHH!!!!!  From my new jeans!!!

I was laughing so hard!  By the way, I have taken 2 baths and my legs still have a hint of blue to them in spots, that is how much blue was on them.   So, I was talking to my husband last night and I was telling him this story.  I told him how I forgot you have to wash new jeans when you get them because of the dye.  I told him it had been so long since I had gotten a new pair of jeans, I just forgot.

He looked at me like I was from Mars.  I then said, "honey, yes, I have gotten 'new' jeans but, they have always been from the consignment store."  His face changed a bit and then I proceeded to say, "I think the last pair of jeans I have purchased brand new were again from Banana Republic but, I had gotten them either right after (our 7 year old) was born or right after (our almost 6 year old) was born."  He laughed, I laughed.

So, last night is was figured out that my last pair of brand new jeans was purchase probably in late 2003 or early 2004.  So, needless to say, I have started to add a little bit extra money to my budget each month so that I can do some shopping for myself and get myself some NEW clothes in addition to the 'new' clothes I purchase at consignment shops.

Yes, I truly am cheap I have known this for years but, what I am starting to discover is I don't like buying myself new/new things.  In my head I think it is irresponsible for me to purchase myself new things when I have 4 children and a husband to purchase new things for and frankly, I don't like purchasing new things in my current size.  However, forget it, I need clothes and I am sick of wearing ill fitting clothing that has been worn by who knows how many other people.  Or only wearing things off the 75% sale rack at Target.  Yes, I am so cheap I won't even purchase Target stuff new, I think their stuff is VERY expensive and too trendy to be able to wear more than a season or two.

So, if you see me out in the malls somewhere shopping, come up to me and gently remind my of my 'blue legs' so I don't go crazy buying new things for my children and hubby and remember to purchase myself a little something new too.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Support Your Local Small Businesses

Good Morning Everyone!

Only 3 more days left of school for my people and I couldn't be more thrilled!  Frankly just because I am so sick of getting up so early and fighting my 6 year old to get out of bed at 630am.  It will be so nice to have my people sleeping in and to let them watch those morning cartoons again(we don't do TV during the school week) and to let them Wii it up all day.

Plus, the bike rides, the pool, the dog walks, the friends over, the play dates mine have away!, and our summer nanny, all things I am very excited to have going on.

So this morning as I was reading our local paper online and reading about some stupid kid who held a gun (a BB gun) up to the head of some kid in his school parking lot after school on Monday and is still being held...what an idiot!  I heard our milkman pull in front of the house.  Oh yes, we have a milkman!

I love my milkman, we have had the same one for over 4 years now and he is great.  Always on time, never misses a week and if he is on vacation, his little brother does his routes for him.  He is also great with the children and allows my son to jump onto his milk truck and 'help' him and has allowed that since day one.  He brings treats for our dog once in a while and just is a good guy.  He is a young guy, works hard and is always very pleasant and professional.

I started having a milkman because even though our grocery store is one house away from us, the heaviest items and the ones we run out of the most are milk, eggs, and juice.  When we first started my people were little and I was pushing a grocery cart home trying to hold onto 2 little hands sometimes 3 or, I was pushing the double stroller, holding on to a hand and trying to carry groceries.  I decided to find a milkman.

For us over the years our orders have become very limited because of our food allergies however, he does carry soy milk so, it works for us still.  It is great knowing every Wednesday morning around 730am I will have milk, eggs, butter, popsicles(in summer), and juice delivered to my front door and when the children were younger, he would often bring the stuff in and put it all away for me too!

He carries a bunch of different items and most of his prices are comparable to the grocery store, he just doesn't take coupons.  But, he carries dish soap, garbage bags, a few different cereals, breakfast sausage, eggs, juice, etc for those times when you open your fridge to feed your children breakfast and realize you are out of everything!  Oh, I know that has happened to more people than just me.

Even when gas was really high and everyone else started putting sur-charges on things or delivery charges, he still kept his free delivery and his prices didn't rise.  That is good service to me and that is why I continue to support him and continue to keep his service.

With everything that is happening around the US with the government seizing and taking over large businesses and our banks failing and homes foreclosing, we now more than ever need to support our local small businesses.  My husband and I have always tried to support and shop at our local small businesses instead of big box retailer.  We believe that is what made America what it is and we believe it helps our community when we shop locally and yes, you might pay higher prices but, you can't beat the customer service, the community feel and the fact that most local businesses also are local people that give back to the community in more ways than a big box could ever do.

I have quit shopping and using many of the big retailers because customer service doesn't exist anymore and that was something I prided myself in when I was in the working world.  The customers were 'always right' even when they were wrong, they were important and deserved to be treated well.  Now, I find only that philosophy in small businesses.

I avoided Target like the plague for almost 3 years because their customer service had gotten so bad.  Now, they are doing much better with it again so, I am shopping at our local Target again.  However, I avoid Macy's at all cost and I only shop there if I have a gift card.  I can't believe how empty the store feels and how completely rude the employees are now.  Plus, since they don't sell children's shoes, forget it, that was the main reason I ever went to a department store anyway.

I will say Best Buy is very good with customer service too however, I believe a lot of that is our local store is one of the last of the small Best Buys and they are located only a couple miles from headquarters.  But, they hold the door for you, greet you with a smile and will walk around the store with you helping you find what you are looking for.  THAT is good customer service!

However, for fixing our computers, we do tend to go to the local computer shop that I don't even know if it has a name but, they do a great job and their prices are right there with Best Buy's.  We try to stay away from chain restaurants, we tend to go to our local car wash instead of the big nationwide one down the road. 

That is how we as just average citizens can help pull our country out of this mess we are in right now.  Shop locally, shop the mom and pop stores and eat at the local restaurants.  Get to know your local business owners and work with them and get them involved in your community.  They will do it because it is like free advertising for them and it will benefit the community too.

I will say...my little side-note about what is going on right now in politics.  I will not be buying anymore GM cars.  I will buy used ones 2008 or older but, that is it no more new.  I will either go import again or I will go Ford.  I love America but, I don't love Socialism and government run companies.  That isn't Democracy and that isn't having freedom.  Democracy is letting companies fail.  Here is my little analogy on why we should let companies fail:  Mount St. Helens, it was dramatic and devastating.  The mountain never looked the same again and the towns around it were hurt too in the early 80's when it erupted.  However, if you visit the area now, it is lush and green again.  The valleys are filled with new growth, new trees, new wildlife and the cities and towns are back to normal and thriving again.  You need catastrophe, you need things to fail, you need things to die in order to get new things, new ideas, new products, new businesses.  By not letting these companies fail, we are not allowing 'new growth'.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Words from the Frugal Millionaires

Good Afternoon! 

Today is one of those rare days where I feel compelled to write two blogs in one day.  Doesn't happen often as I think it is a bit silly but, I just got done ready an article that I just HAVE to write on!

The article is based on interviewing millionaires and seeing how they stay that way and how they got that way.  We are talking the 'under the radar' millionaires.  I know many of them and Minnesota is filled with them.  This isn't about the movie stars, rappers, or private plane owners, this is about Joe Blow down the street that has owned his house free and clear for 30 years now, drives a 10 year old Cadillac and his wife stills wears her diamond ring he gave her when they were 20.  They have nice things but, not too nice.  But, those are the same people that are able to winter in Florida or Arizona, travel to Europe, pay for their children's and Grandchildren's college education,their children went to private schools, and they tend to give generously to their favorite charities.  Sound like anyone you know??

Ok, here are some of their tips from the article, "How to Spend Like a Frugal Millionaire." by Kimberly Palmer from a guest blogger Jeff Lehman author of The Frugal Millionaires.

Spending philosophy.

Frugal millionaires are unique thinkers when it comes to spending money: 1) they can easily delay their need for gratification when purchasing; 2) they are resourceful in getting what they want by carefully timing their consumer purchases; 3) they make living below their means painless; 4) they don't like wasting anything (especially money); 5) their sense of "self-entitlement" is highly minimized: and 6) spending is OK with them...depending on what they are buying (think: appreciating vs. depreciating assets).

Buying tips.

These millionaires keep more money than they spend, that's why they are rich. Their tactics work for them so they'll work even better for you. Key Point: They don't view shopping as a sport. They shop efficiently and spend their time doing more important things with their lives. Here are their tips that will help you save while spending:

Cars: Buy used (or off lease) fuel-efficient cars, often with "certified pre-owned" warranties. This warranty can be better than a new car, plus the initial depreciation hit is avoided. Drive the car for a long time and never lease it.

Eating Out: Bring half of a meal home to eat later (this also saves the waistline). Eat at happy hours. Bring wine from home and skip dessert. Value food quality over expensive ambiance.

Eating In: Eat better and less expensively by cooking at home. Make it a friends and family event. Get your kids involved. Bonus: You can have that extra drink without worrying about getting busted for driving under the influence. Also: buy day-old bread at the best bakery in town and freeze it. Eat oatmeal, because it's the most cost-effective breakfast food. Get a supermarket "club card" and buy food on special. Play the game of trying to see how much of a discount can be saved off the total food bill.

Clothes: When you buy something new donate something used to charity. Buy traditional clothes, but wait for the off-season to acquire them. Go for high quality - not high price. Buy vintage clothing and avoid logo clothing and keep people guessing who the designer might be. Hint: There shouldn't be one!

Consumer Electronics: Buy low-end gear that has the basic functionality of the more expensive stuff. Don't be the first to buy new technology. Wait at least one life cycle so the bugs are worked out. Buy refurbished electronics whenever possible.

Computers: Buy more mainstream computers with proven technology. Select higher capacity hard drives, a decent amount of RAM (the memory that the program runs in) and a cost effective processor. Super fast doesn't always equal super good...unless you are building airplanes or bridges. Laptops are a good compromise between desktops and netbooks. Don't go through the pain of upgrading operating systems on existing computers, it's not time efficient and you will probably go insane trying.

Going green: Being green and frugal go hand-in-hand. Yet frugal millionaires don't readily fall for the trendy green hype machine. They typically buy green if it helps the environment and lowers their costs. They look at the time frame when a product can pay for itself. They do use compact fluorescent lighting, turn off lights and equipment that isn't being used, monitor AC and heat usage (with programmable thermostats), drive efficiently, live in "right-sized" homes and turn off the water when they aren't brushing their teeth or washing dishes. Because they have trained themselves to not waste money they won't waste anything else either. They get into good habits and keep them going. You can, too.

I love this article!  Good advice that is easy to follow.  It is so important to live below your means.  Just because you make the money doesn't mean you have to spend it all.  You don't need to keep up with the Jones's, I would much rather be the 'under the radar' millionaire than the one everyone thinks is a millionaire but, I have nothing in the bank.

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Is it an addiction or an errand?

Good Morning Everyone!

Ok, I am crabby today, seriously sick of the wind and I need the sun!  Plus, my children are bugging me and I haven't seen my husband for more than 5 minutes without interruption since Saturday and it has been even longer since he and I have been alone.  I am crabby.  I need to remember why I am married to my husband!  Oh...that sounded wrong.  What I mean is, I really need a date with my husband, I need to catch up with his life and I need to get away from my children!  I love them but, AHHHHHHHH, they are driving me nuts right now.

Ok, I got to vent a bit, phew, feeling better, deep breath.  Hmmmmm, ok better.

Let's start over again shall we?  Good morning everyone!  So today, I am addressing shopping again.  It seems to be something I just don't understand.  Trying to understand it. 

It seems that people tend to shop every weekend or every Saturday or sometimes even daily I guess.  What I don't understand is, are you buying things every weekend?  What possibly could you need to buy every week besides groceries?

Maybe I am weird and everyone else is normal?  Plus, frankly, it isn't in my budget to shop most of the time for things other than food and toilet paper.  It kills my grocery budget when I need to buy things like laundry soap, hand soap, dryer sheets(have you seen the price of those lately!), shampoo, toothpaste,and toilet paper/paper towels.  That stuff can quickly add another $20-40 easily to my grocery bill.

Then, when I do decide I am going to go shopping for either myself, the children or my husband, I have to take money from somewhere else in the budget to do it because I don't have clothing in our monthly budget except for right before Sanibel and right before school.  Am I missing something?  Is this something I should be trying to squeeze into our family's budget monthly?

I feel like we have enough clothing, shoes, etc.  What do you shoppers buy when you shop?  Do you buy stuff for your home?  I just don't get it.  I have enough crap in my house, I can't imagine buying more.  Although, OH I would love to have new furniture some day!  But, that is what my savings account is for not my budget.

Is that what you shoppers do?  Do you take that money out of savings?

I am so confused.  My husband comes from a shopping family.  His mother has closets full of clothing with tags still on them.  She just shops I think sometimes to keep herself busy in retirement and being a widow.  I can understand that, you can't take your money with you and she gives a lot of money away so, then shop.  His sisters are big shoppers too.  I get that sort of too.  They were raised shopping a lot.  However, I think they like it too much sometimes because they seem to me, to shop all the time.  I am not sure if they buy stuff but, they shop a lot.

I know a few other that shop a lot.  I don't know when they have the time or where they get the money from but, the money part isn't really my business is it?.  I have many friends that go to certain stores every Saturday or Sunday and shop there.   I have NO idea what you would need to get at those stores every weekend but, apparently they need stuff there.  Is shopping an errand?  Is it something you really need?  Or is it an addiction?  Is it something to keep your mind off of reality?  Is that why Target is so gosh darn busy on Saturdays? 

 I wonder if sometimes it is an addiction.  I wonder if some people shop out of the addiction to buying things more than they like it or feel they need it.  I wonder if some people shop to soothe themselves.  Shopping because they need an outlet from the stresses of life whether financial, marriage, work, children, parents, etc.  But, doesn't shopping when you have no time and no money create more stress?

I have known a few women in my life that I truly feel have a shopping addiction.  I think they are/were covering up other feelings with shopping.  I often wonder if it is a transfer addiction.  Meaning, you know when an alcoholic goes into treatment and comes out of treatment smoking like a chimney, drinking pots of coffee, or eating pounds of chocolate?  I have never understood how you can call that treatment when all they have done is transferred their addiction to something else.  I think that is the case with some friends I have had that were addictive shoppers.

I have seen many times them lying about their purchases.  Whether it be the price they paid, how much they shop, or whatever.  If you are lying about your shopping, you are probably addicted.  If your children are dressing in rags or too small of clothing and you are dressed in something new almost every day, you are probably addicted.  If you think about shopping all the time and worry about when you are going to be able to do it again...well, you get it.

I think our society often tells us it is 'ok' to be addicted to shopping as long as you aren't addicted to drugs.  Or it is ok to be addicted to smoking as long as you aren't drinking.  Or it is ok for you to be addicted to coffee as long as you aren't gambling.  Whatever, an addiction is an addiction and if you need it daily to survive or just make it through life or it consumes your thoughts or you do it to make yourself feel better after a horrible day but, you find yourself having horrible days if you don't do your addiction...it is NOT a good thing.

So, back to the beginning, why do people shop?  What are the reasons?

Ok, enough!  It wasn't supposed to be a grumpy blog, I sort of got a little carried up in all of it.  Let's get back to something a little less serious. 

Hahahaha, on the subject of 'shopping', yes, this is why all that shopping stuff came out of me.  I went shopping yesterday.  I finally, oh yes, finally bought myself a new pair of soccer cleats AND a new pair of shin guards.  If you don't know why this is such a big deal, I have been saying for probably 5 years how much I needed new shin guards and soccer shoes.  I haven't wanted to spend the money, or we haven't had the money, or I couldn't find anything I liked or the store was too far or closed or whatever, I just hadn't bought myself a new pair of shoes and shin guards.  I finally broke down and did it.  I wore them both last night in my first game of the season.  The shoes felt great, the shin guards I don't like but, they don't make the style I like anymore so, I am going to have to learn to deal with it.

It felt great to have new shoes on!  My feet didn't hurt at the end of the game and they look fancy. lol.  Now, ready to be shocked...this is my first pair of new soccer cleats in 20 years!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  I was still wearing my game cleats from high school.  Oh, and I played a year in college and I have been playing again for the past 15 or so years, all with the same pair of cleats.  My shin guards weren't as old, they were only 15 years old however, I think they lost their value about 3 years ago. 

It cracked me up, I had to get taught again by some guy in his 20's about what I should wear for shoes, socks, and shin guards.  I was told the brand that I love is really not that great anymore and about to go bankrupt and they don't even have a rep not just in Minnesota but, the whole mid-west.  Well that sucks!  He had a few pairs of those brand left but, he had me try on some other cleats first.  Guess what brand shoes I ended up getting?  Yep, my old brand!  He thought I was really funny.  Apparently what I liked about that brand and those cleats isn't cool anymore and people tend to not like that.  Well, good for them but, I do!

However, when it came to the shin guards, I was out of luck.  They don't even make the kind I like anymore, period.  So, I had to go with some crazy style that doesn't move and has removable parts that all I can think of is how quickly I will lose one of those parts.  Again, he laughs at me.  He really thinks I am funny.  Meanwhile, my baby is standing there pulling out the try on socks out of halved soccer balls and grunting while she is pooping.  Phew, she stunk bad!  Of course, my baby who poops mostly in the evening would decide to poop during the day while I was shopping and didn't have a diaper with me!

Again, he is laughing....apparently we are both pretty funny!  Actually, he was a great help and put up with a crazy old housewife that never leaves her bubble and hasn't stepped into a soccer store since the 80's. 

I also needed to buy my 5 year old a new pair of soccer shoes too as hers from last fall are too small.  So, up to the register, I am holding my breath.  The guy then tells me, he is going to give me 10% off my total purchase in hopes I won't wait 20 more years to shop there.  I laugh and tell him thank you.  The total wasn't too bad, it was actually a lot lower than I thought it would be.  So, I am pleased, my husband is pleased and my bank account is pleased.

Oh, and when I got to our soccer game, I had forgotten that we got new uniforms this year too so, I was looking super spiffy out there last night!  I didn't play super spiffy but, it usually takes me a couple games to get back into outdoor shape. 

Blessings to you all today and the sun is shining!(Came out while I was bringing babes to school...yeah!)  Oh thank you Lord!

-Liza

Live on less and be happy.

Good Afternoon Everyone!

So my husband was out of town this weekend.  He had a boys weekend in Wisconsin and I was at home with the babes by myself.  It went well, fast (thank God!) and I was even able to get some housework done.

Most important thing though is the kitchen was clean and the dishes were done when he walked in the door today.  That is hit BIG thing in the house.  The rest of the house could be falling apart but, as long as the kitchen/dining room are clean and picked up, he is happy.  I can do that.

So, I normally try not to write back to back blogs about the same or a similar subject but, I was reading the news online and ugh, it is doom and gloom!  So, I thought I would write about finances again.  Just with a different spin.

Let me tell you all something right now.  There is absolutely NO reason to be so doom and gloom about the economy or your retirement account right now.  Yes, things are not great out there and you may have lost a job or might be losing a job.  You might even be wondering if you will be able to keep your home or car, etc. 

Steve and I have been there done that.  However, we went through it when everyone else was riding the high horse of a great economy.  It was horrible and it sucked and we don't want to have to go through it again.  But, very rarely were we doom and gloom.  Why?  Because life is so much more than money.   We chose to look at the positive parts of our lives and our family and kept the focus there.  We continued to focus on our children and our marriage.  We knew that is our family unit was strong, we would and could make it through anything.  We were right and we did.

It was over 4 years of clinging to our family and really holing up together and just focusing on God, us, and our children.  We were on our knees daily and we were grateful for each moment.  We were all healthy, we had kept our home(it was touch and go many times!), we had to adjust our lifestyles but, our children never knew.  Nor did they care.  They only knew that mom and dad were happy, they were happy and life was good.  It was hard sometimes but, life was good.  We had a love for a God that loved us more than we could ever imagine and he was watching over us, even if we couldn't feel it, we knew he was there.

I believe it was our faith in God that pulled us through those times and in the end, we were a stronger family unit, stronger in our faith, and were happier with life.

Having no money is NOT doom and gloom.  It is NOT the end of the world.  Money does NOT bring happiness.  It doesn't even make life easier sometimes, it makes it harder.  It was a very simple life we led while my husband looked for work or worked odd jobs.  It wasn't filled with overloaded schedules and packed weekends.  We hung out more as a family and as a couple.  We cherished our family game nights, our card playing, our simple BBQ's in the yard.  We grew to love the challenge of finding bargains and coupon clipping.  Our weekly grocery lists became a family affair as everyone listed what they wanted for dinner one night based on the Sunday ads for our local grocery stores.

Life doesn't have to suck because you can't retire when you wanted to or you have to work a 2nd job or, gasp, you can't buy yourself a new outfit!  Life is so much more than shopping, going out to eat, fancy dinners, new furniture, new cars, etc....  Life is what you make of it.  Life is great!  You can choose to be miserable or you can choose to be happy with what you have been dealt and find a way to make it work.

Sometimes you need to re-evaluate your previous thinking on money and what makes you happy.  I read in the Star Tribune (our local paper) today something that really stuck with me.  It was from a life coach with no financial background.  She said that often people need to get rid of old money beliefs because they tend to hold people back.  Oh so true!  She then said for example, 'the belief that with each new job you need to make more money to be successful, even though you could life on less.'  I couldn't agree with her more!

We as American's are told we can't be happy without new shiny cars, new clothes, new kitchens with granite counter-tops, we need bigger and better!  Not true.  We need to minimalize our lives and our lives will be richer and more fulfilled.   We will me more grateful for the things we have and for our family and friends. 

I need to end here, baby woke up from nap.  Blessings to you all!!!

Here is the link to the article I read this morning that inspired this blog:  http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/yourmoney/44188752.html?page=1&c=y

-Liza

May Budget and cash

Good Morning Everyone!

So this morning, I find myself very lazy.  I mean VERY lazy.  I have plenty of things I could be doing, some things I should be doing but, I only have two children and no husband today so, it is very tempting to just be lazy.

But, I need to get to the bank!  Friday was pay day and ugh, momma needs some money!  We only get paid once a month so, it is very difficult to budget for the entire month, especially when odd things come up and you don't expect them.

So, this month I thought I would write out my May budget ahead of time.  I wrote down everything I knew I had to pay and things I thought I might have to pay and (insert scream here) it left me only $500 for the entire month for groceries, gas, lunch money, and anything else unplanned.  Ok, THAT is NOT going to work!

Well, God was watching over our family again as our big check we had to write to our daughter's school for next year wasn't as big as we thought it would be and we got a refund from our life insurance so, that gave us almost $500 more that we didn't plan on....phew!

Now, for those of you who are like...what is she talking about?! She needs $1000 a month for gas for one car, groceries and lunch money?!  Well, our grocery bills are on average two to three times the size of the normal family of 6 because of our food allergies.  I went from spending about $125 a week to spending now almost $300 sometimes more a week.   It is crazy expensive to have children with allergies let alone 4 children with allergies!

Ok, back to the budget.  So, we are trying something new this month, I will let you all know how it went at the end of the month.  We are leaving all our money for bills and such in the checking account but, taking out cash for all other things.

I am then going to divide all the cash into separate envelopes.  So, there will be an envelope for babysitter money, grocery money, gas money, lunch money, etc. 

Then, if I run out of one envelope...well, too bad.  I think it will be easier to balance the family budget for the month if everything is broken up like that.  I have tried to just work on cash each week but, it was really hard to divide it all up and figure out how much I needed for each thing.  This way, I already know all the nights we will need sitters in May so, I will have the sitter cash all ready for them and if I run out of sitter cash at the end of the month..we will just have to cancel plans or come up with some other plan.

I think it will really help with groceries too.  Because many times I don't add Costco trips, Target trips, or our milkman to our monthly budgets and that gets me in trouble.  It is hard to add Target and Costco for me because I tend to only go there occasionally.  Costco maybe every month or two and Target usually once a month, sometimes not even that much.

But, then there are times where I have people over or I need something specific or we run out of our 100 rolls of toilet paper we bought 6 months ago and I need to restock.  That is hard to budget for.

It is also hard to budget for your dog getting sick and needing a $3000 surgery only for him to die and then a month later you have to pay almost $300 for a new dog.  THAT really messes up your monthly budget!  Again for those of you new to my blogs, we don't have ANY credit cards, not one.  So, everything is month to month on our finances and everything is paid for with debit card or cash/check.

It keeps our debt at almost $0 and it really keeps your spending in check.  I would highly recommend to anyone who hasn't tried it, to go without credit cards.  Even if you only do it for one week but, I think you should try to go without them for a month or more.

You will quickly find how addicted you were to them and how you really don't need them they are just very convenient.  It is easy with a credit card but, it takes work to only spend cash. 

I personally think spending money should take work.  You worked really hard to get that money, you should work hard spending it too.

So, pray for me and my new budgeting and hopefully it will work!  Oh, I am still under the big 1_0 number on the scale.  I haven't lost anymore weight but, I figure it took me 5 weeks to lose 3 pounds, I can wait for the next pound or two to come off too.  As long as they come off!!!!!

Blessings to you all as I head off to the bank and my new adventure in budgeting :-)

-Liza

PS:  Welcome all new blog readers!  So glad you are here.

Our story and ways to not repeat it.

Good Evening everyone!

So, I have been thinking of more money saving tips I could give to all of you, thinking of more ways to get you all to cut back on your spending and realize how much in our lives is really just 'stuff' that we don't need.

One of my dear friends told me yesterday that she thinks I should put all of the things I did to help our family survive for 4 years with little income and sometimes no income coming in.  For those of you who don't know the back story here is a quick little synopsis.

So, my husband worked for a big firm in Minneapolis as an Institutional Trader.  Well, they decided to move all operations to NY.  We could have chosen to gone there but, yuck, we are NOT New Yorkers and we would have been moving there on a Minnesota salary, no can do there.  So, he did get a very nice severance package.  So, after taking the summer off, he started to look for work and discovered how hard it was finding something in his field.

Finally, he found something and it was a good salary, actually about $20,000 more a year than he had made before!  Which was great since we were expecting our 3rd child.  So, he works there thinking he is going to be there for a long time and such.  Well, when our 3rd baby was about 6 months old, he got laid off.  Yikes.  We knew it was hard just a year earlier, how is this going to work?

Well, it didn't work out well.  At first my husband thought he could trade for himself...apparently, he is MUCH better at trading other people's money than his own...the fear factor comes in to play too much with your own money.  He did that for a while but, never really making more than just enough to pay the mortgage and a handful of other bills but, not all of them.  Plus, we had purchased a desktop and a laptop on credit for his new adventure. 

Then, after figuring out that wasn't working, he tried to start a company with some friends....didn't work, then he did handyman jobs just to get groceries.  We were NOT doing well.  All of our bills were piling up, our babies were growing, things needed to be paid and weren't getting paid.  For a while there, we had absolutely NO money coming in. 

Then, at Christmas time Steve put an ad out and hung Christmas lights for people, that paid enough for us to buy the children Christmas gifts that year, another year past, he did the same thing the next year.  Now he did have a job, it was decent pay however, still 1/2 of what he had made before getting laid off.  But, it was helping to stop the bleeding.  I in the meantime was selling things like mad on eBay and purchasing most of the children's clothing on there too.  Our son was now at a private school for Kindergarten.....bills piling up even more.

We have been going to a food shelf monthly for about 2 years at this point in time.  Our mortgage payments are getting made less and less.  We discover our children all have wheat and dairy allergies, our grocery bills triple just from that alone.  Times are getting dark and desperate. 

We feel that things might be starting to get better, things are going ok at his new job, pay still isn't terrific but, it is a paycheck.  Steve still can't get a 2nd job anywhere as they won't hire him because he is over qualified for everything.  I am working once in a while for a law firm at this point to try and help.  We pawn our watches to pay some bills and to help get us some spending money for our annual family Florida trip(Steve's mom pays for)

Well, we decide it is now or never for the 4th baby, things are stabilizing a bit.  The day we find out we are pregnant with our 4th...is also the day Steve is no longer working at his job.  Wow, now what do we do?   A miracle happened just before that...we get a bit of inheritance....we quickly decide how to split it up.  We quickly start a remodel on the kitchen...if there are going to be 6 people in this house, we can't live in a 9x10 kitchen next to a 10x10 dining room.  Construction starts.  6 weeks later we have a new larger kitchen.  We have paid off some bills, tried to pay some parts of others but, they are still piling up again. 

No money, things are bad...what are we going to do?  We are told we are too poor to file Bankruptcy yet, the notices keep coming for those Sheriff's auctions on our house, we can't lose our house!  We just can't. 

Steve is interviewing everywhere for every kind of job.  He is desperate, we are desperate, wow, this is really getting bad.  Finally Jan 08 Steve gets in touch with someone and they put him in contact with someone else.  Steve battles his way into the interview with shoes that have holes on the bottom in the middle of winter, I think we had to borrow money for him to pay for parking downtown.  Finally, he gets a job.  It is scary again, no benefits, salary is a draw, no guarantees.  This is NOT what I wanted, I wanted insurance, paid vacations, salary, and a bit of stability.  This is too risky, I am afraid.  However, I trust my husband again, I know he can't fail, he knows he can't fail.

Well, here we are 15 months later, he is still there.  Things are going well.  We are still digging our house out of massive debt and ourselves however, there is a light we can see it now!

We have 4 great children, our marriage is strong and close, we have great friends and we even have some money to spare monthly to put into savings.  We aren't out of the woods yet but, we aren't lost in them anymore either.

We still live like we are poor and we still hold our breaths right before each paycheck is supposed to come.  We still can't believe they come on a regular basis.  We still find it hard to believe we aren't going to the food shelf anymore.  I struggle still with spending any money as I am so afraid it will all go away again.  It could, who are we kidding, it could all go away again for sure, I think many of us who felt we were safe are feeling a bit nervous now.

I am telling you all, from first hand experience, be smart, live like you are poor.  Live like you can't afford things.  Think about all of your purchases before you make them, do you really need that new cell phone?  Do you really need that new TV, that new laptop, iPod?

My best advice to all of you is when/if you or your spouse ever gets a new/higher paying job or gets raise, continue to live on your old salary and put the rest away.  Don't live beyond your means and cut up those credit cards!  I am so grateful that we didn't have a lot in credit card debt!  That would have sunk us for sure.

We actually have not ONE credit card and not really sure we ever will.  What is in our checking account/savings account is all we have in our world...when it is out of money, we are out of money.  There is no back up plan on a credit card....that is too dangerous.  We need to balance and manage our money every month/week/day.  We need to make sure it is going to last the entire month and then some.  We need to plan for those car repairs, those household expenses that come up.  We try and put away the same amount of money each month for our family vacations so when it is time to take them, it isn't such a big gulp of money.

Nothing, not one thing of ours goes on a credit card, not ONE thing.  We buy nothing with credit.  We still have only one car and won't buy a 2nd until we can pay cash for it.  We will not add on to our house unless we can pay cash for it.  We won't move to another house until we can put a substantial amount down on it to keep our mortgage around the same as ours already is.

We are afraid, it is good to be fearful.  Nothing is promised.  Nothing is guaranteed.  God does not promise us that life will be easy.  The world doesn't promise us that either. 

Live like you are poor.  Don't live like you are cheap though, there is a difference!  Tithe your 10% or more, give to those who might be struggling, help out your local charities, continue to give the way you have always given unless it will put your family in financial hardship.  But, your tithe and your other giving should be one of the last things you cut back on.  There are many other things in your life you can cut back on first.

Ladies, I have said it before, I will say it again, you don't need designer jeans, you don't need to shop at certain stores or even certain areas...ie 50th and France, you don't need computer upgrades or the latest and greatest phone all your friends have.  We aren't in high school anymore living off our parents dime...this is the real life, most of us have children, most of us have others we are responsible for and most of us have spouses too.  We should be cutting back on our haircuts, our colorings, our waxings, our shoes, oh yes, I said shoes!  We don't need to be going to Starbucks for coffee, make it at home! We don't need to drink wine with dinner or buy gifts for our friends. 

These are tough and very uncertain times we are heading into.  We don't know what the future holds.  But, we can control some of our future by starting to cut back today and save, pay off any bills you can and don't create any new ones!

Lean on your friends and family and most of all God in these times.  We ALL need each other.

Blessings to you all,

Liza

The Peanut Butter Recall

Wow, I hadn't really paid much attention to this however, they just revised their list and it is quite extensive so, I thought I would pass some of it along. 

This is only a portion of the foods they had listed and they are now saying it affects some food all the way back to August 2007!

Here are some of the food products and brands....please do not only take my word for it!  I got these names off the CDC website, please look at that website for the complete list...I take NO responsibility for something I do/don't mention here.

Cookies:

Archer Farms (Target), Cub Foods cookies, Famous Amos, Grandessa, Keebler, Sam's Choice (Walmart/Sam's club), Trader Joe's, Walmart Bakery

Crackers:

Keebler, Little Debbie's

Fruit and Veggies Products(I do not know what this means)

Trader Joe's

Snack Bars:

Arbonne, Clif Bars, GNC, Luna, Larabar, Nutrilite, Nestle, NutriPals(toddler/kid), NutriSystem, Trader Joe's, Whole Foods, Zone, ZonePerfect

Again, this is just a sample of the products listed...check out the whole list.

http://www.accessdata.fda.gov/scripts/peanutbutterrecall/index.cfm#Brownie

Good luck and go through those pantry's!!

Liza

Do you want it or need it?

Hello Everyone!

Phew...I have to tell you all that I LOVE it when I get a ton of 'hits' on a certain blog title.  The 2 that are getting the most hits on are by far some of the grosser ones....'Lice' and 'Natural and Orgasmic Births', if you haven't read those yet, I suggest you do...they seem to be the favorites so far.

So, today I have 2 topics that are bugging me enough I feel the desire to write about them.  I can't decide...the first is the topic of colic and babies....and how I don't really know if I believe there really is such a thing as 'unexplained crying'.  The second is deciphering between a 'want' and a 'need'.

I think I will write about the second one today and hit on the other one later since it is a New Year, maybe the want/need issue could be someone's resolution (if you make those).

Ok, so, with Christmas just behind us and all of the HUGE sales before and after I have been hearing a lot of "Oh, I finally got that coat I needed so bad" or "OH, look at these great new boots, I really needed them" etc....

So, I don't think any of this stuff ever bothered me until I had to really decipher between our family's needs and our wants to just survive day to day.

It was a really hard lesson to learn and I know many people that are going through their own financial issues and I hope this helps some of you and even those of you not in any financial crisis, I hope this helps you think about what you are saying before you say it.

Sorry, this might be a little bit of a lecture as I am still pretty close to the whole no money deal and the feelings are still pretty strong and frankly, it is a pretty emotional deal for me.

Oh, where to start.  Ok, when you purchase something you have wanted for a long time, it most often than not is something you have wanted forever!  That is me just last week.  I have been wanting a pair of black boots since I was 16...no lie!  However, I have never felt in a position that I could afford them and when I felt I could afford them, I could never find a pair that I liked.  It has been a constant 'want/desire' of mine for 20 years.

Well, last week I went to Macy's to spend some gift certificates we had and they were having a huge women's shoe sale.  Well, I thought I would check and see if they had anything in my size or anything I liked.  I looked throughout the whole department...nothing.  Then, I saw this one pair and they were only $59.99...that seemed reasonable.  They were marked down from $89.99 so, that was pretty good.  Then, I asked if they were in 9 1/2...yes, I have HUGE feet.  Well, they only had one pair left and they were a size 9.  I almost walked away but, thought...oh what the hay...just try them on.  They fit! 

Plus, they were just basic black boots, no buckles, no pointed toes, no spiked heel, just plain basic and cute black boots.  So, I decided to splurge!  I told the guy I would take them and he gave me my total.  He said, "Ok, that will be $45.50"  What?!!!  Even cheaper than I thought...SOLD for sure now.  I wouldn't even have buyers remorse over boots at that price. 

Well, I loved that I finally had a pair of boots.  However, no sooner than did I try them on at home did I hear myself saying to my husband, "Now, I need to find a good outfit to go with these."  WHAT???!!!

I instantly caught myself in what I was saying and cringed.  No, I didn't need a new outfit to match these boots, I didn't even need these boots.  It was just something I had wanted for a long time.

I saw the other day something where someone said they finally got that great dress coat they had needed so bad and it was over a $100 off!  Well, really, did they really need that coat?  Did they just move to Minnesota and have no other coat?  Or did they loose all of their coats in a fire or did that persons last coat finally fall apart after years of wearing it and they needed to replace it?

There are needs and then there are wants that we convince ourselves are needs.

Women don't need to go shopping every week or even every month.  You don't need a new pair of jeans or a new shirt for that party you are having.  You don't need to even shop with each new season.  You don't need to shop.

It is nice to shop, it is probably fun to shop.  However, at what price are you shopping at?  Is your shopping affecting others in your family?  Are your so called 'needs' helping or hurting you, your spouse, your family?

More importantly, how are you paying for your needs?  Are you paying for them in cash or are you putting them on a credit card that is already filled with a bunch of other purchases that were 'needed'. 

When you are buying new things for your home, are you buying just the necessities such as toilet paper and soap or are you also buying that cute new dresser or that new rug or oh that great new mirror?  Are they really needs?

I think our society tells us we need so much.  I will give you all another example of this in our family.  So, we splurged and Santa bought our family a Wii and Wii Fit for Christmas.  Well, my husband thought our TV's were so old and we 'needed' a new one.  I have been fighting the TV issue for a long time as I feel they are insanely expensive and frankly, there is a list a mile long of other "needs" I 'need/want' before I would ever want a TV.

Well, after seeing our neighbors got a new tv and showing me in last Sunday's newspaper all the great deals on TV's, my darling hubby came home with one!  It is gigantic...I had made a deal with him that we could get one if we put it in  a certain place because it was so big.  He didn't think that was a good idea so, now we have this obnoxious sized TV in our basement just for the Wii...because we needed it. 

Ok...so, a few days after we got the TV we needed so bad.  I had a sitter come over and I was actually embarrassed at all of the new 'stuff' we had in our basement.  It really was obnoxious in my mind.  Not to mention, I can't even watch TV in the basement because the TV is so flipping big it gives me a headache.  I get sick to my stomach working out on the Wii with it and frankly, our couches down there are 2nd hand and really NEED to be cleaned before I want to sit on them!

But, we have this great new TV that we needed.

Do you get what I am talking about?  Our society and frankly, our friends, tell us we need a lot more than we really do.  All we need is a roof over our heads, it doesn't have to be a mansion.  We need food to eat, it doesn't have to be crab legs and sushi.  We need water, it doesn't have to be Evian or Fuji, it doesn't even need to come from a bottle.  We need clothing however, it doesn't need to be from Macy's, Hot Mama, Anthropology, or Banana Republic.    Yes, you probably need a car however, do you need 2?  3?  Can you take a bus to work instead?  Can you carpool?

There are many places in our lives where our wants have overwhelmed our needs.  If we just take a step back and think 'do I really NEED this or do I just want this' things might not seem so hard financially.  Things might not be so stressful and you might not truly offend someone who really is in NEED of things and just 'wants' to be able to get the very basics 'needed' to live.

Blessings to you all today.

-Liza