The Outspoken Mom Blog

Our government that is killing us is now supposedly healing us?

Where to begin, where even to begin!

So tonight, I was watching that TV show with Jamie Oliver about his food revolution.  UGH!!!!  I was getting so stressed out and so upset during that show!  I could honestly feel my blood starting to boil and I could feel my heart racing and many times I had to change the channel because I couldn't handle what I was seeing on TV.

Many of you who read my blogs understand how I feel about food, the struggles our family has had with food and how frustrating it has been to watch children be fed crap, day after day in not only our own homes but, at schools, restaurants and wherever else we eat.  I have always struggled with restaurants not having healthy food options on children's menus, I struggle with fast food places and their options, I struggle with grocery stores and food companies that market this crap to our children!  To see it all flat out right in front of me in High Definition...it was honestly too much to take.

I sat there and watched as someone who isn't from our country tried and changed our schools and tried to change a towns minds and he was put up against our own government!  Our own government was telling him that his chicken, rice, and veggies wasn't following standards but, the reheated pizza the lunch ladies were serving was!  Turns out their guidelines said there must be 2 breads in their lunch and he didn't have a bread but, their crappy, unhealthy pizza constituted 2 bread servings..how you ask?  By the portion size...yep, they just gave them bigger pieces of crappy pizza to make sure they were following the guidelines set forth by the USDA, our own government!

To top that off, just as my blood is really starting to boil, the show gets interrupted and I find out from a gleeful Diane Sawyer that our own government...the VERY government that is telling us pizza is better for you than brown rice has voted to take over our health care system.  If ever I needed a push to be against something it was that....not only hearing my government is telling people what is healthy and what isn't and being SO very wrong but, also having a show about our health and food issues interrupted to find out our government will now be making our health decisions for us now too.

I am sure I am going to piss a lot of you off with this blog and so be it.  Listen, I am so anti-government right now it is sad to me.  I have never been so afraid, so ashamed, and so scared of my country's leaders before.  After seeing many sick things our government can do and is doing to people in the  business world, my husband included, and then seeing what they are doing to our children, how on earth can I trust them with my health too?

I flat out don't trust the government anymore, I don't trust them, I am afraid for my country but, most importantly, I am afraid for my children and what will happen to them.  I am watching a country I have believed in, trusted and loved become something I am growing to despise and flat out don't trust. 

First of all, let me tell you something about food, the way we eat, what we are feeding ourselves and our children, will kill all of us!  Our government is creating a food pyramid that doesn't work and can't possibly be full-filled in our society.  Our children don't know what vegetables are, they don't know how they grow or where they grow and we are feeding our children things that come from a box. 

Our produce sections are getting smaller and smaller because our grocery sections of pre-packaged, processed foods is getting larger and larger.  Nothing that comes from a box can possibly be healthy!  I don't care if you make $20,000 a year or $200,000 a year, you can still feed your children healthy food!  Our bodies are our temples we need to treat them as such!  We workout and diet and then go home and have frozen pizza for dinner! 

The diet industry is a multi-billion dollar industry in the United States!  We have diet sodas, diet candy bars, diet shakes, diet pills, diet, diet, diet, diet!  If we would just go back to eating the basic, WHOLE FOODS, we wouldn't need so many diets!  Examples?  OK, I just lost 20 pounds in less than 2 months by doing a simple thing..I ate 2 fruits or veggies (raw/uncooked) before every meal!  Then, my meal would consist of something like baked chicken, salad, frozen peas(obviously heated up), and a bowl of cut up fruit...NOT from a can!  I would have water with my meal, every meal.

I actually found myself never hungry, never craving sugar or other unhealthy foods, always satisfied with my meals and never the over-stuffed feeling I would have when I didn't eat raw fruits or veggies.  I was a good example to my children, especially my son who also eats a lot of raw fruits and veggies and lean meats.  I showed him joyfully that the food was good and healthy and made me feel good.  Soon, my son who often craved sweets and junk food stopped all together craving those things and stopped feeling like he was missing out on the 'good foods' his friends all got to eat.  Why?  Because he was feeling better, he was happier, he wasn't as agitated and he had more energy than before.  He was happy and it was noticeable not only to me his mom but, to him!

Ever hear the old saying, "You are what you eat"?  Well, what are we if we eat chicken nuggets, hot dogs, french fries, boxed macaroni and cheese, and pizza?  We are junk, we are unhealthy, we are created in a laboratory!  However, if we fill ourselves with fresh strawberries, bananas, lettuce, chicken, brown rice, carrots, lean meats, and green peppers what are we?  We are whole, we are healthy, we are filled with life created from the earth!

If you don't know what healthy foods are, think of this, if you can't grow it, you shouldn't eat it!  Try that for a few weeks and see how you feel!  I promise you, if you stop following our government and their misleading guidelines, you truly will feel a lot better and you will be healthier and you won't need to rely on the government , that is helping to make us sick in the first place, to take care of you when you get sick.

I could write on this for hours!

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

How many snacks do we really need to feel left out?

Good Afternoon Everyone!

I had no intention of writing a blog today but, apparently, God had other plans!  Ok Lord, I am listening and following.

I wish I could tell you all how much God is pushing my husband and I right now, in a good push of course.  It is amazing how much he is talking to us and the people he is bringing into our lives right now.  You CAN NOT tell me this is all just a coincidence.  Just too many factors coming into play here.  Anyway, on to the blog.

Food, yes food again.  Food is an issue in our house.  Actually, I take offense to that!  Food isn't an issue in OUR house because we don't find issue with it, the world, our family and our friends have issue with our food 'issues'.  How we eat has become the norm in our family and many families like us so much that very rarely do our children even complain or talk about it until it is pointed out to them by someone else.

Today is that day when someone pointed it out to my son.  My son who hasn't complained about his food choices or what others may call limitations in weeks did this afternoon.  I got a phone call from his school about 15 minutes ago telling me it was someone's last day at that school today and they brought in ice cream for a treat.  OK, first of all, ice cream for a treat, for what?  A celebration that you are leaving that school, a birthday that coincides with you leaving that school, are you graduating early (they are in 3rd Grade so THAT probably isn't it) but, why a 'treat'? 

Our society focuses so much on food that it is no wonder we have children that are obese, children with eating disorders earlier and earlier in life, a multi-billion dollar a year diet industry and in general, millions of people obsessed with food or staying away from food!  Add to that children with food allergies or sensitivities and it is crazy! 

So, I answer the phone and my son's special ed teacher tells me that the class is eating ice cream and my son would like to eat some and wondering if it is OK.  First of all, is it NOT in his IEP that he can not eat ANYTHING unless it comes from home?  Also, it is in his files and on his medical forms in many different places that he is not allowed to eat wheat or dairy...hello?!  So, after all of those thoughts go through my head, I calmly and kindly say, "Oh, bummer, no he can't have any ice cream".  She then tells me why the class is eating ice cream and that my son feels left out..."of course he does, wouldn't you?" is what I want to say but, instead I calmly and kindly say, "Well, he can't have any."  She then asks me if I would be willing to tell him that.  Sure(chicken sh**, is what I think but, do not say).  So, my son gets on the phone and I am super excited to hear his sweet voice come on the phone and hear, "Hi Momma!"  OH, my heart melts every time I hear that from him!  So I excitedly say hello to him and ask him about his day and chit chat with him.  Then, I say to him, "So, I hear someone is leaving and they brought ice cream for a treat."  His voice instantly changes into a hint of sadness when he says, "yea". 
I then let him know I just found out about it and that his baby sister is still sleeping and school gets out in 15 minutes so, there is no way I would be able to bring him a snack to school but, I promise him he can have a snack when he gets home.  He protests.  I then remind him that ice cream has not only dairy but, often wheat, corn syrup and sugar in it too, all things he can't eat.

He gets bummed out a bit more but, understands.  It is hard to hear an 8 year old have to make such grown up decisions!  You know, he has to be so grown up so often in life being the oldest and only boy in the family but, then you add his food choices, his Asperger's, the huge amount of supplements/vitamins he needs to take, and no wonder he sometimes lashes out in school!  He is so grown up in so many other areas when is he allowed to just be an 8 year old boy?!

We end our conversation on a good note and we hang up.  Then, the blogging comes in.  I have had many conversations with other parents about food.  See, in Minnesota it is a State Law that you cannot have any food brought in to share unless it is store purchased and in many cases has the ingredients label on it.   That is also why there is no sharing of school lunches anymore or trading of snacks.  I get it because of food allergies the no trading of school lunches and such however, when you put a law in there to 'protect' children with food allergies by telling us everything needs to be store bought, you are actually excluding many of those same children from classroom activities and parties.

There are VERY few choices for school treats to bring that are wheat/gluten free, dairy/casein free, and then you add in corn syrup, sugar, and egg free and you have pretty much eliminated my son and sometimes my daughter's from participating with their classmates.  Now, for my son, who is already dis-engaged often and pulled out frequently and misses a lot of 'normal' class time and class participation, you further alienate him by bringing in treats such as ice cream, cupcakes, candy, etc. for parties.  The hardest pill to swallow with all of this is, NOT once has any parent ever asked the teacher if there are any food allergies in the classroom they should be aware of.  Something I never forget NOT to do.  I always ask about food allergies when I bring in treats.  But, more often than not, I try to bring in 100% juice boxes or fruit snacks that are 100% fruit.  I wish I could bring in cupcakes and cookies but, I have to make those things for my children and I can't share them with the rest of the class.  Very often, I ask the teachers to let me know in advance so that I can either make something just for my children or I can go to one of our local gluten free/dairy free bakeries and pick something up for my children.

Very often though, I get a call just minutes before the treats are served with the teacher telling me they didn't know the parents were bringing anything in, the parents just surprised the teacher and class with treats.  Again, first of all, we all love surprises but, you need to tell teachers in advance and two, hello...once again did you ever think someone in the class might not be able to eat what you bring and you might be leaving someone out?

Same goes for all those sporting events that all of us parents bring treats to, whatever happened to a parent bringing a gigantic bag of cut up oranges and some water in a thermos with cups?  Since when do 6 year olds need to drink Gatorade and Goldfish to replenish themselves after a soccer game?  We don't need to celebrate every single occasion in life with food and drink especially sugary snacks and high fat, high calorie things do we?

I am afraid that we all are a bit guilty in this epidemic we call obesity.  Everything is usually OK in moderation (unless you have a food allergy) but, how much is moderation when weekly if not more our children are having parties in school, playing how many sports a week with how many snacks after wards and then you add drive-thru dinners, take-outs and pizza delivery and before you know it your children's diets consist of mostly saturated fats, various corn syrups, food coloring, and preservatives than fruits and veggies.

Hey, I am in no way saying our treats need to disappear from schools or from sporting events but, how about a treat at the END of the soccer season instead of every game?  Or how about we only celebrate birthdays or holidays and instead of only bringing in cupcakes and ice cream we once in a while include something fun like a grab bag of non-edible treats to students or little wrapped gifts for everyone in the class of some 'goodies' to make them all feel special? 

I need to stop here, 2 of my 3 are home from school and the baby is now awake too and we have dance pictures tonight that I need to somehow get hair done for and make sure the costume is primped and ready to go so my daughter looks her 'best' for pictures. 

Thanks for reading and be on the look out for some hopefully big changes coming to this site soon! :-)  I am hoping to do an 'official' launch of my blog soon!

Blessings to you all and welcome all of my new readers! 

-Liza

Being carried through life

Good Morning All!

My girls went downstairs to play so, I have a quick moment alone so, thought I would seize the moment and blog!

Have you ever been so confused with your life you just sit there and go hmmmmm?  As many of you know, we have been having problems with our son in school again this year!  After having a good year last year, he is back to stressing out and lashing out in school and it is breaking my heart.  My son has a hard exterior but, is quite fragile on the inside.  It is hard to see him lashing out like a caged animal.

I know how he feels truly know.  When I get the feeling like I am trapped or just completely overwhelmed with stress I tend to lash out too.  It is a horrible feeling because you really do feel like a caged animal and you just sort of 'snap' because you feel if you don't get out at that very moment you might never make it out.  My son is experiencing that a lot lately and it is so hard to watch.

Yesterday I had a meeting with a bunch of the people involved with him at his school and expected to work out his schedule for me to home-school him starting in 2 weeks(just after spring break).  They all sat there and told me pretty much flat out, "no" to homeschooling.  They had an answer to every concern I had and while it felt good yesterday during the meeting, today I find myself upset that I caved.  I am not sure if I caved or not but, I feel like I did.

So, now they are going to try doing a behavior test on him to see what triggers him, what his patterns are because as of right now, there truly don't seem to be any patterns or triggers.  My question is, why didn't you do this behavior test that you need to 'observe' him for a length of time, back in October, November, December, January, or even February?!  Why did you wait until AFTER I say I am pulling him out of school?  Actually, they did mention the test at conferences in mid-February but, we went on vacation.  But, I still believe all the paperwork should have been filled out and ready to go for his return from vacation!

This is my precious son you are talking about and my guy is so smart and way too smart to not like school and to not being doing well in school.  He has a heart of gold and is really funny.  It hurts me to the depths of my soul that he isn't able to find his place in 'life' yet.    It hurts me even more that my husband and I were right, he needed the stability of being at the same school with the same teachers and same friends for a long period of time and that is why we had chosen Calvin for him and Calvin ended up not working for him.  There are days I truly believe that he never stood a chance at that school because they didn't want to put in the effort.  Because I have seen so many other children similar to Seth succeed there. 

It is hard when your son is the one that absolutely WILL NOT give any respect to strangers or to those he doesn't know.  Unfortunately for him and us you have to earn his respect but, once you have it, you have it.  For our son to be switching schools a lot, to never see the same friends in the halls, to have different people around him all the time.  It takes time to get to know the quirks of my son, he would have benefited so much from the stability of going to ONE school with the same friends and a small school.

Now, I see my son acting like a caged animal again, just clawing his way out and trying to escape a stressful situation that very few adults would be able to work through let alone an 8 year old boy.  I will not stop fighting for that guy!  He is my son, my only son and I KNOW he has a place in this life, I KNOW there is a school out there for him, I KNOW he will be successful someday and when it all comes together it will just sort of 'click' together and work.

It is hard being a parent!  No one ever tells you your child might not fit in, they might not be successful in school no matter how hard you try and they might not have friends.  Then, no one tells you they will eventually know they don't fit in, they know they aren't successful in school and they know they don't have friends and then, no one tells you how strong you have to be on the outside and how much your heart will break on the inside.  No one tells you how you need to find strength you never knew you had to help your son and how much you have to be his advocate and how much you have to fight to give him the 'basics' that seem to come so easily to most children.

Well, I don't have any answers for any of you going through something similar but, I can tell you, right now I have this really strange peace surrounding me and I have this incredible 'ahhhhh' in me right now.  I have absolutely no more answers than I had yesterday, really I only have more questions but, somehow, someway I am at peace with the not knowing and I feel light and like I am floating almost.

Truly, life seems to be crumbling all around me with my son's education, his school situation and a lot of other things I just am not ready to share yet and I have undeniable peace about everything.  I feel like I am walking on air or like I am being held up and all I can think of is the footprints poem.  For I know Jesus is carrying me right now, he is holding me and carrying me through this time in my life and not letting me go it alone and is taking the burden off of me.  It is incredibly hard to explain if you haven't felt it before but, Praise God because looking at what is happening to our lives right now on paper, they are falling apart yet, not only me but, my husband too...we are being carried right through it all.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Here is a copy of one of the Footprints poems:

http://www.llerrah.com/footprints.htm

End of a season....yet just the beginning!

I have a few minutes before I need to get the 3rd child ready for school today so, I thought I would take the time to write a little something.

First let me say, "Rain, rain go away.  Come back as SNOW!"  It is the beginning of March, it is NOT supposed to be raining...especially since this is the last week the ski slopes are open and we haven't skied in 3 weeks!  Bummer, looks like our skiing is done for another season.

Our whole family, sans the baby had a great time skiing this year.  I even hit the slopes more this year than all the times in my whole life.  I had a blast and even though I am no where near ready to hit the mountains or even the supposed 'black diamond' runs of our local hills, I had a great time being out there with my family and friends.

Skiing is truly one of those sports the whole family can do together and you don't all have to have the same skill level.  My husband is what I consider 'Pro' and is truly majestic to watch come down the slopes.  My son is new to the aerial team this year and amazes me as I watch him go over jumps and start to do turns in the air....WOW is the only word for watching your son do something like that.

Then my 2 older daughters, they are finding pure joy in skiing backwards, going off the course and skiing through the trees and over bumps and they have even started to venture onto the terrain park and tried some jumps and turns.  Next year one says she is going to join the racing team and the other says she wants to do the freestyle team with brother.  Either way, it brings me great joy to watch my children growing and developing in a sport that they can truly do for the rest of their lives.

I thought I would be sitting in the bleachers at baseball games, hockey games and basketball games but, it doesn't seem to be working out like that.  It seems mommy will be on skis most of the winter and I will be wearing snowsuits, hats and gloves standing along the various ski hills around watching some of my children flip, bend and jump in the air and the others racing through flags/poles as fast as they can, sitting on the sidelines of soccer fields, and on the pool deck screaming and cheering on my children and just praying they are happy, healthy, and pleased with how they did in their competition that day.

I am excited to see how my children grow and develop and a little bit scared to see what our 4th (and youngest) is going to end up doing as she truly seems to have the daredevil gene of my husband.

Blessings to you and your beautiful people too!

-Liza

I am back and ready to speak up!!!

Hi All!

Ahhhhhhhh, finally home and back to normal!  The sun is trying to shine through the clouds and the weather is warm and the snow is on rapid-melt right now.  Spring isn't too far away!

I am feeling so happy to be home, I can't even stand it!  So, here is my topic today, actually, who am I kidding, I really have no clue until I write what my topic will really be :-) 

There are so many things running through my head right now I don't even know where to begin!!!!  I haven't blogged in over 2 weeks for any of my blogs so, I have massive overload of blogs in my head.  Which doesn't help my ADD mind very much in decision making.  BTW, thinking of going back on Ritalin just until the end of the children's school year.  I haven't taken it in about 3-4 years but, feeling it might be just the 'calm' my head needs right now.  But, for me to get on it would mean me going to the doctor monthly to get my refill and frankly, that isn't very appealing to a mom of 4 especially when that mom of 4 has ADD!!!  Hahaha.

I find myself sometimes wanting to completely 'buck the Schwab system' and just try my son on some sort of drug.  It would just be so much easier to give him a pill a day instead of trying to shove 10 a day of supplements down his throat plus, monitoring his food intake and frankly I just want him to fit in.  Even though I know that would mean turning my son into a robot, it would be nice just for one day to have the 'normal' son. 

It is really draining on me and I am sure my husband too to be constantly thinking, "I wonder what our son is doing", "I wonder when I will get a phone call" or frankly just wondering how he will act in certain situations.  I totally understand why some parents just put their children on drugs instead of working on other things!  It is not only expensive but, it is also extremely time consuming and frankly mind consuming too.  You are never at the finish line when you try and do things naturally, you are always working and re-working the routes so, you never make it to the finish line.  It is tiring at best sometimes.

But, see, that is me more worried about myself than my son...that is all I have to say to 'snap' myself out of thinking drugs could be the answer for him.  Drugs are easier for ME because I am spending so much of my time and energy on the children that I truly just don't have anymore in me to work on me too.  Maybe I should be a bit more accepting of people who choose to medicate their children instead of working on the diet, supplements and such....NAW...really?  Then I wouldn't be the Outspoken Mom anymore, haha.

I am just exhausted, I am drained and worried, it is my son's first day back after being gone for 2 weeks and I am holding my breath.  I truly strongly dislike the fact that my son can't find his place in school, in seems to be any school.  Plus, with the upcoming (or in my case, looming) self-imposed deadline of 3 weeks for our son to pull it together in school or I am pulling him to home-school, eek.  Talk about pressure.

Hence the Ritalin for mom talk and me even contemplating putting my son on something, just to keep him in school.  It breaks my heart my son isn't getting school, actually, he is getting school but, he also gets that disrupting class or acting out gets him out of class so....he chooses to get out of class as often as possible but, frankly who wouldn't?  It is so boring to just sit there everyday!  I was just like him when I was younger and I was so bored in school.  Is school supposed to be boring?  I think not!

That was the whole reason I went to college to become a teacher so that I would change the schools system or at least MY class and make sure it wasn't boring to students.  I still see the boredom seeping in when my husband and I try to help our son with his homework, it is like we both glaze over and just get sleepy.  Where is the fun in school?  Where is the excitement to learn, to grow and to explore?!

My son has a natural curiosity about nature, plants, weather and people.  He LOVES skiing, biking, building things, and water.  Why can't we find a school that teaches to his strengths, he interests, instead of just teaching to the median.  Schools now teach on the 'bell curve' no longer do they teach to interests, long gone are shop classes, art classes, baseball games during recess, cooking classes, and sewing classes.

We are a generation of parents who don't know how to sew a button on a shirt, we don't iron, we don't knit and many parents don't even know how to bake a cake anymore let alone how to cook dinner for a family anymore!  We don't plan menus, we don't know how to even read labels anymore, we purchase everything pre-packaged, pre-cooked, and pre-heated.  We don't know how to change our own oil, hang up a picture, or how to blend paints.

OH....light bulb moment here....I would say that is probably has something to do with our children and our society being so FAT!!!!  We don't know how to do anything for ourselves anymore!  We don't know how to cook, our children don't know where food comes from other than the McDonald's or Pizza Hut.  We don't have big gardens in the back yard anymore, we don't make our own sauces, stews and breads.  We purchase everything!

Then you get a child like my son who has extreme interest in cooking, growing, research, exploring, science, art, and building and he gets labeled as a trouble maker because he doesn't fit the mold of school and the robots we are raising.  Heaven forbid our children think for themselves, heaven forbid they think outside the box! 

Bring back home ec, bring back gym(real gym), bring back longer recesses, bring back art classes 2-3 times a week, and bring back shop!!!  Our children need to start thinking back outside the box and we need to embrace their differences instead of stifling them.

Feels good to be back!!!!!

-Liza

Being Flexible

Good Morning Everyone!

You know what I have learned most from being a mom?  Flexibility.  I used to be rigid in my routines, my husband would actually say I still am but, I have learned to relax about things that before children would have thrown me over the edge.

Take today for example, thought I would be grocery shopping right now with my 2 older children and the baby while my 3rd was at Kindergarten.  My older two children don't have school today but, my 3rd who goes to private school did have school today.  But, instead, my 3rd was throwing up in the night and since she hit her head yesterday afternoon, my hubby took her to the ER to make sure we didn't do permanent damage to one of our children.   Turns out she is fine but, was up from 12-3am so, needless to say, she is home from school today now too.

So, it is now after 10am and I haven't done our weekly grocery shopping yet and I have nothing for dinner, do I panic?  Nope, the old Liza would have stressed out and panicked because my schedule had changed and it would paralyze me.  Instead now, we will just have a leisurely morning and THEN go grocery shopping, with all 4 children.  I will have to switch my weekly menus around a bit and make something else tonight but, that is ok.

Flexibility, I worry that my son doesn't have enough of it.  See, my guy is so much like I was when I was younger and so, I worry about him.  I don't want him to have to go through many of the things I went through as a child.  I know in my head he probably won't because he has a strong family core behind him and his 3 sisters will have his back.  But, my heart aches for the guy.   He is so rigid sometimes in his thinking, in his schedule and his routine.  But, as I grow older and have had more children, I realize that rigidness is an immature part of life.  It is mostly a part of life you go through and as you learn that life doesn't revolve around you, you learn to let go and go with the flow more.

Learning to be more flexible has also helped me out with my hubby! (and not THAT kind of flexibility although...it doesn't hurt, ha ha.)  Anyway, being more flexible has helped learn to live with another person, a big person who is a presence in any room.  He flies through life often by the seat of his pants and rules flying out the windows.  (Insert big scream here!!!!)  Oh wait, the screaming was done mostly by the more rigid Liza.  As the years fly by, and they are flying, I have learned to love my big guy more and to become more flexible with his non-routines, his very gray lines in rules and his wonderful yet sometimes, cavalier parenting style. 

I knew how I was going to parent, I knew what I was and was not going to do, I knew...oh who am I kidding!  You can think all you want you are going to parent a certain way but, holy moly, once you have children, those little people throw your world into a tailspin!  Sometimes I don't know up from down and left from right.  If you aren't able to relax, sit back and enjoy the ride they bring you on, you are going to one go nuts and two, you will drive your people nuts too.  You need to be able to go with the flow and hold on tight!

That brings me to life in the Schwab house.  Oh, it is crazy, some would call chaotic, yet, it is our life and we love it.  I would say it would be nice to have a bit more organization, a bit more cleanliness.  But, as I learned over the weekend.  Every time you clean up something, the children are drawn to that area and it is messy again before you know it.  Sigh.  We live in a messy, super small house but, our house is filled with something so many homes today aren't....LOVE and FUN.  Yes, we are typically the 'fun' parents and yes, we do pay the price sometimes as it seems we get in trouble a lot! 

I am not sure if Steve and I really should have been parents and we so, really not sure we should have been parents together!!!  Hahahaha!  But, we love our people, our children are still happy, healthy and well frankly, we haven't lost one yet to spite our best efforts sometimes.  So, the former rule follower has learned that rules don't have to be black and white, they can have some gray around them too.

So, this former super rigid, rule follower is learning to relax and the funniest part, is my hubby who used to believe EVERY rule was surrounded by many shades of gray is starting to see some black and white in them too.  I thank God every single day that I have the opportunity to be a mom but, not only a mom once but, 4 times!!!  I can't believe God trusted me enough to watch over 4 of his children!  Wow!  So, if God trusts me and Steve, maybe we should trust ourselves more in our parenting too :-)  I also thank God every single day that I get to raise my four little people with Steve.  He has turned out to be all of my dreams come true in one, complete package.  I couldn't have asked for a more perfect husband.  He gives me strength, he has taught me to laugh at myself, he has taught me to have confidence(which still I struggle with sometimes), he thinks I am beautiful and tells me in one form or another daily.  Whether by telling me flat out I am beautiful, or telling me how gross other women look(that is the BEST!!! ), or in his own special ways like, telling me he never hears what I say because all he hears is "Look at my boobs, look at my boobs" or when he tells me he wants in my pants.  Oh yes, he is ALL romance!  :-)  But, I know every single day, many times during the day that I am truly loved and desired by him, I like that.

So, today I am going to learn to be a bit more flexible, I am going to learn that some rules do have gray areas and I am going to love on my children, my husband, my friends, my God, and MYSELF~

Blessings to you all!!!!

-Liza

Get unyted!

Good Morning Everyone!

Once again I don't have much time but, I haven't written anything for a week now, which is NOT a good thing!  Sorry about that.  Life sometimes gets in the way.  There are so many things going on right now in my life and those that surround me, but, Housekeeping is NOT one of them,heehee.

Oh yes, my house has officially exploded again over the past week.  I can keep my house clean for a while but, once it starts to go, it is like trying to keep a truck from falling over a cliff with one person pulling on the rope....  Do you get my analogy?  So, once again I am living in the middle of the pit of Schwab and once again I am trapped in my own mind/body because I become paralyzed when my house gets like this.  I need an obvious starting point, I need to find point A to get to point B and if point A leads to point Q instead, forget it, my mind freaks out!

Yes, I bug me too.

But, that isn't what I was going to write about today!  No, happy, happy, joy, joy I am going to write about something I was going to say I stumbled across but, truly it stumbled across me.  There is a movement going on and it is just so great!  There is a movement that is picking up such steam and so many supporters and wow, it is fun to watch it grow and to be a small part of what is happening.

What is the movement?  It is a movement focused on uniting Gen Y females to stand up to sensationalism.  However, it is truly not just for Gen Y as I am obviously not a Gen Y person but, as a mother of a son and 3 daughters, I feel it is such an important movement I had to jump on board!  Plus, as a child who grew up believing in the sensationalism of the 80's and the excesses, the movies, the lies, I know I want to protect my children and others against those things as much as I can.

So, today I am dedicating my blog to the movement of Dave Drever and his amazing team over at TheUnYted.  I cannot say enough good things about Dave and his team of truly amazing people trying to change the world through media, music, movies, and themselves. 

If you are between the ages of 8 and 27 or if you have children between those ages, that is Gen Y!  Even if you only have boys around, I truly believe this movement can help them to understand more about treating women and understanding what a true strong woman is really about.  Plus, as I am listening to their music on the website, how can I not feel happy and joyous about this movement!

I think our mass media has destroyed our sense of security, sense of hope, sense of empowerment, sense of truly living a good life.  Not the lies that are portrayed in the media.  Come and join me and join Dave and his crew and take a stand against sensationalism! 

They are in the process of launching their new site and have a lot of exciting things happening right now!  They have many celebs on board, great musicians, actors and business leaders that have committed to take a stand. 

Please visit www.theunyted.com and www.beunyted.com

Also, Dave Drever is on Facebook and Twitter.

Come join the movement and make a real difference for our young women :-)

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Clearing the Air.

Good Evening Everyone!

What a great Friday night!  I just got done watching some TV on my computer with my husband while our daughter's watched a movie in the basement and now, they are in bed and my house is quiet except for the gently hum of the dishwasher.

I laugh at how much the silence drives me nuts because of how much silence there was when I was growing up but, I also cherish the silence sometimes.  Again I believe it is because it must be some sort of 'safe' place or something for me.  I am sure some psychologist could break it down for me if I would ever go to one...which by the way, I probably won't :-)

I frankly like how a little off center I am.  I think it is part of what has made me a survivor during some unsavory parts of my growing up life.  Now that I am older, that off center person is a lot more centered and that is because of my stability and my "out of sight, out of mind" world I live in.  Things truly do roll down my back and into lala land most of the time.  That is why I think I am good at being so outspoken because really, I just want to get people thinking and frankly, not too much bugs me enough to stop.  I will say, there are some things that do bother me enough though where I feel I need to voice myself even more!  This is one of those times.

So, this morning I posted a blog....oh, excuse me, according to one of the comments, I should say, "entry" or "post".  So, sue me, when I wrote my BLOG for the Star Tribune this morning I knew it would be/could be a firestorm.  It was.

I don't want to give those people that commented too much press or time since most of their comments I have noticed since blogging for the Trib are based on skimming and not reading the whole article and also, because I write how I speak and so, many times if you don't know me you can fully mis-understand my meanings.  But, since many of my readers here also read my Trib blog, I thought what the hay, I can clear up some things, get them off my chest and feel good and then be over and done with it all!  See, I am what they call a barfer.  I am one of those people that needs to 'barf out' all of my issues in one big well, barf.  When something is bothering me, I 'barf' all over someone and then I feel better and I move on.  Often times, those people are left just puzzled and wondering what just happened but, I am ok and that is how I 'purge' out my feelings and frustrations.  Obviously I hope you all know I truly don't throw up on people!  But, I am a 'let it all out' person and what were considered 'freak outs' when I was younger are now more precise barfing sessions done under a more controlled environment.

This is my controlled environment!  I will do my proverbial barfing all over my own blog instead of 'freaking out' on the Star Tribune blog like I would have in my younger years.  It works for me and it is my therapy so, work with me people!

So, I wrote about stay at home moms and working moms and how I believe it is a choice to stay at home or work...unless blah, blah you are a single parent ok I get it.  Oh I feel better already!  I love my OWN blog because I can say truly whatever I want! 

Anyway, there were some comments made that truly didn't get what I was trying to say, as usual.  First of all, I had to write it more like a 'community' blog instead of a blog just about ME.  So, when I said, "You don't need the fancy car, the house, blah, blah, blah"  I really would have liked to have said, I don't need those things.  But, again what many people forget is I am writing a COMMUNITY blog trying to hit the general population.  Obviously it is not going to fit all people!  It is like the bell curve of grading.  That is my blogging, I am the bell curve of blogs.  Someone will always get an A, someone will always get an F but, most of the people will be in the middle.

What many of these people don't get either is I live in Richfield!  Hello, it isn't glamorous but, it is a good life!  I like my life.  People assume things about us living here, assume on people!  I think my husband and I frankly were led by the hand of God to move here.  We weren't looking here, we were looking in Edina at homes 1 bedroom smaller and $100,000 more expensive!  The only 2 houses we put offers on were both in Richfield!  We had no intention of living in Richfield and sort of felt in shock when we sat in the closing of our house as to how we ended up living in RICHFIELD!  Seriously.  I personally felt I was a bit 'too good' for Richfield but, we knew we were only going to be here for a year or two until we found something 'better'.  Haha, that was 8 years ago and we still have no intention of moving!

God had a plan for us and we praise him listened!  If we hadn't listened, we would have lost our home and who knows what else.  Us buying a 3 bedroom home instead of our 4 bedroom home would have been horrible because hey, we filled up our house in less than 2 years!  Also, it would have ruined us had we purchased a home $100,000 more than ours since Steve didn't have a job for almost 4 years.  God watched over us and still is.

Now, we wouldn't ever purchase a house that we needed two incomes for, wouldn't happen.  And NO, I don't feel there is a stigma of stay at home moms.  I know other stay at home moms feel that stigma but, frankly, I know more stay at home moms than I do working moms so, no stigma on my end.  Also, for me no career is worth someone else raising my children or getting the best times with my children.  NO career!  It is hard work being a stay at home mom, I miss out on a lot but, who cares?  I like having my people around me, I like that my 20 month old and I are buddies and we hang out together!  I didn't have my first child until I was 28 years old, I had 28 years of 'all about me' so, now it is time to put someone else first.

Yes, it is no secret that I feel 1 parent should stay at home with the children.  I grew up without parents around, my mom never coming to have lunch with me, no one at my games, getting rides from other parents, making my own breakfast, eating hot lunch everyday until high school when my mom finally did quit working.  I LOVED getting bagged lunches for the first time in my life!  It was great!  From that moment on(I was 16) I knew I wasn't going to work after I had children.  No way were any of my children going to miss their mom and I wasn't going to miss them either.

I take exception to the Edina snob (their own words) that assumed again, without knowing that I too didn't pay for my own college that I don't have $40,000 in school loan debt, that it is 'easier' for me to not work because I didn't have a 'career' before having children.   Yep, you are right, I didn't have a career but, even if I did, I know with all my heart I would have quit it in an instant for my children.  I knew that even as a knocked up girl with no boyfriend that I wasn't going to work 9-5 after having my child because I wanted to raise that baby.  So, I quit my full time job with terrific and FREE health/dental benefits but, no flexibility, and starting selling Tupperware so I could insure I could be at home with my child and work nights while the baby slept and make my own hours and dictate how little or much money I made. 

There ARE choices, there are always choices.  I stand by my saying before, I choose my children.  Some women don't they choose there careers.  I am NOT ripping on working moms, I just want you all to admit that yes, you are choosing your career.  That is all.  I also stand by what I said before, you can't have it all, something will suffer and unfortunately it is usually the children. 

Someday I might have to work, I know that but, hopefully it won't be until my son heads off to college and the girls are in jr high and high school.  See, that is another thing I have vowed to do and I will do everything in my power to make happen.  I know how horrible it is to have the burden of student loans, especially since I don't even work!  Steve and I know that we plan on paying for our children's college no matter what the cost.  We don't want our children taking out huge loans and we don't want them having to work their way through college either.  We have 4 children we plan on putting through college and some how, we will find a way to pay for it too.  Even if it means Steve and I each working 2 jobs, we will find a way.

So, there is my barf.  Now go take a shower and I will go on my merry way feeling so much better :-)

Thanks for sticking with me even through my rants and raves!

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Bring Back Dodge-ball!!!!

Good Morning Everyone!

Today I come to you desperate and well frankly disappointed and discouraged and I would like to change all of that.

I am way too many words that are negative about our schools.  I am not upset about the usual things we hear people talking about I am upset about things that I think people feel but, are either too timid to mention anything or are just maybe oblivious.

What am I talking about?  I am talking about our schools turning our children into mono-thinking, boring little robots.  Have you noticed this?  In Richfield Public Schools our children must sit only with their class, you are not allowed to talk during lunch time and you only get one recess a day, even for the primary grades. 

Our schools are expecting our children to sit for long periods of time, to think only a certain way, we only give creative classes like Art and Music once a week(however in my son's school Art is once every other week!) and Phys Ed is all over the place.  For a while it was only once a week, now because everyone is so afraid of having fat children, they are doing it 2-3 times a week or more.  Which is great but, we have carpeted gymnasiums now, we don't play games like Bombardment or Dodge-ball, and heaven forbid the children get to choose their own teams!  No way!  Now they do lessons about Yoga, how to play 'fair' and Ships Across the Ocean. 

Our children sit for so long it is actually unhealthy!  They are punished for being squirmy or worse yet, labeled as being ADD/ADHD.   Long gone are the childhood games of tag, fort building, or snowball throwing and forget about the occasional food fight!  That is cause for expulsion now!  Our educators have become rigid and strict.  They are creating a 'fair' world which can't possibly exist in the real world and we are ill-preparing our children for the future. 

We are teaching our children that you can make excuses for your bad behavior by putting a label on it or better yet, taking a pill for it.  Our schools are forcing homework younger and younger and more and more of it.  Children can no longer socialize outside of their own classroom.  They have to be quiet in the halls, quiet in the lunchroom and in some cases there is even NO running on the playground!

Why are we as parents letting this happen to our children?  Why are we not fighting for our children and their childhood?!!  We all went through the hair pulling, teasing, occasional fights on the playground heck, we even did penny drops over cement for goodness sake.  Most of us survived.  Yes, there was that occasional mishap of a broken arm or black eye but, wasn't that a part of childhood?

I know we don't want our children to be teased, we don't want them to get hurt and we want to protect them all the time.  But, in doing that we are really hurting them!  They need to know that behaviors have consequences and not because the teacher or the parent told them so!  They need to know there is a pecking order on the playground, they need to understand it is ok once in a while to disagree and frankly that it is ok if you don't get along with someone that is life.

My grassroots movement is for bringing back some of the 'childhood' into schools.  I want more recess time in our schools, especially for the younger grades.  The children need more 'free learning' time for exploring and adventure.  I want them to be able to sit with their friends, talk about life and their fun adventures and their dreams of what they are going to be when they grow up.  And yes, sorry schools but, I think if they drop something on the floor or sneak and switch lunches that is ok.  Yep, you heard that from a mom who has children with food allergies even! 

If my child wants to trade their banana for an apple, go for it!  Or if their friends want to trade their pb&j for a ham sandwich, good!  It is called bargaining and it is a good life skill to have.  I remember selling friendship bracelets, friendship pins and other 'handmade' goods at school in the hallway!  That was how I bought my candy after school to eat on the way home.  Oh yea, I even walked to school when I was little, GASP!

It is up to us parents to start demanding our schools change.  My children are bucking the system here and there and Steve and I are happy about that.  We don't want those little children that sit with their hands in their laps and just listen and obey.  We like that we see a little 'fight' in our children!  We like that they question rules sometimes and we like that they are outspoken(imagine US having outspoken children) and ask why there are such rules and why they can't talk and such. 

Steve and I have already begun to verbally communicate with our Principals, teachers and Aides how we feel about their many restrictions and we will continue to do that.  We have also been talking with other parents and getting them involved.  Our next move will be going to the School boards and the community.  Our children need to be children, it is ok to be a bit squirmy, don't you remember the phrase, "Ants in your pants"? 

Let's bring back the morning recess and the after lunch one.  Let's extend those recess times to more than 15-20 minutes!  Let's bring back allowing the children to talk in the lunchroom, in the hallways(obviously quiet talk) and BRING BACK DODGE-BALL!  Bring back Red Rover, sledding at recess, snowball fights, and all those other things I am forgetting about that were super fun and just a part of being a child.

I don't think children are learning anymore now than they did when we were growing up!  Yes, they are learning about more 'stuff' but, they aren't learning the basics anymore.  And the life lessons they are learning they are being told in the classroom instead of being able to experience it in the halls, lunchroom, gymnasium, and playground.

I have one theory as to when all this stuff starting changing and yep, it is controversial but, here goes....I think much of the 'fun stuff' and 'normal childhood' stuff started leaving the schools when open enrollment went into effect.  Just one of those crazy ways us 'white/middle-class/burb living' parents decided to 'protect' our children from those 'non-white/rough/city' kids.  Am I right, no clue!  But, just got you to think didn't I?

Blessings to you all and fight for your children!  Fight for their dreams and stop letting our schools stifle their imaginations!

-Liza

Halfway there

Good Morning Everyone!

Wow, Christmas is gone for another year, well we have one more tonight but, the rest, are done.  Jesus is born and all of the Schwab children are still alive and no presents have broken yet or have been taken away yet...although one did go mysteriously missing and now mom has to figure out where Santa got it!  We are now trying to figure out if we are going to do anything for New Years and if so what.

As I sit here feeling like I have been away for so long from blogging, I am trying to recall all of the AMAZING blogs that have come and gone from my head over the past week when I was too busy to sit down and write.  There are two things that come to mind for me today and neither one is related but, I think they are both going to end up in this blog!

First of all, I am heart-broken, I am sad and I am in a very dysfunctional relationship.  I am in a relationship of ups and downs, loads of stress and such love/hate it is sad.  This relationship has caused much yelling, some crying, and WAY too many freak outs.  My dysfunctional relationship is with....sigh, the Minnesota Vikings.  Yep, they crush my spirits every year, every year I keep coming back to them faithfully and every year they hurt me, they crush me, they cause me stress, sore throats, and unbelievable heartache.  So much stress that I can actually feel my heart beat getting faster and a tightening in my chest just writing this. 

My husband thinks I am crazy, my children tell me constantly that the Vikings can't hear me when I yell at the TV (but, I secretly know they can if only I could yell loud enough!), I truly believe I could coach my team to victory if only someone would let me get in there and give them a pep talk and let me decide when to bench certain people and when to put others in.  Now granted, I don't know ANYTHING about calling plays but, that doesn't matter!!  They know all the plays and there are a million other coaches out there!  I am just telling you I could coach them to victory by my words!  I know I could!  I know I could get them to see how important it is to me that they not only win but, also go to the Superbowl so that I could 1 time in my life, go to a Superbowl game and cheer for my 'boys'.  Yes, they are MY boys, I have loved so many of them over the years, I have hated even more of them and I have given up numerous Thursdays, Sundays, and Mondays for them over the years, I am dedicated and faithful and they don't even care! 

Breathe, just breathe Liza, breathe in, breathe out, relax.  Serious stress right now!  As I have told you, I am in a very dysfunctional relationship but, I can't quit on them, even though they always seem to quit on me.  No, I will follow them until the day I die, which unfortunately will probably be during some horrifying Vikings game due to unhealthy levels of stress and screaming.  I am sure I will die of a heart attack due to high blood pressure some day during a Vikings game.  My only hope is that they pull it out in the end and win it in honor of me :-)  I hope the rest of their season...after they have killed me off is dedicated to me with a little sticker of my initials on their helmets.  Yes, very dysfunctional!

OK, I can feel my blood pressure starting to fall back into normal ranges again, my breathing is coming back to normal and my head doesn't hurt, as bad.  Now on to subject number two:  My children.

I was sitting in the tub the other day just sitting there trying to warm up from having the chills all day.  My son came into the bathroom and went potty.  By the way, it is so great to be sitting in the tub at eye level of my son's arss that is not more than a foot away from me just hoping he doesn't fart.  Oh the joys of living in a house with one bathroom that is the size of a shoebox!  Anyway, back to the story!  After he was done peeing, and I reminding him to flush and wash his hands, I realized that we are close to the halfway mark with him.  Yes, for he is in 3rd Grade and he will be 9 in April...the halfway mark, I have had him for about just as many years as he will be leaving us to go to college. 

I told my son we are halfway to losing him and he just looked at me like I was nuts, with a hint of fear in his eyes.  I quickly explained it and told him that I have had him in my life for just about the same amount of time it will take for him to be graduating and moving out and off to college.  Then, in his sweetest of ways, he said to me, "Yeah but, I get to move back in with you after college!"  I then in my sweetest of ways, said, "Um, NO!"  Hahahahaha.  I did talk to him though and let him know how fast it was all going and I couldn't believe I was halfway through raising him up before he was a man and off exploring the world and meeting new people and how Steve and I would only catch glimpses of his life instead of the majority of it.  My son quickly lost interest in the conversation and turned to go.  But, before he left, I called out, "Honey, you start college in 9 years, you better start thinking of where you are going to go now!"  The door was already shut, he was gone.  Then, the door opens again, he peeks his head in and says, "Mom, I don't need to start thinking about where I am going to college until I am 13 or 14!  So, I will start doing it then." and he shut the door.

I laid back into my tub again and just smiled.  My boy is so smart, he is right, he doesn't have to start thinking about college for at least a few more years!  But, seriously, it goes by so fast!  The first 9 years or so have been a blur!  Sometimes it seems like he will never grow up but, mostly, it seems like he is growing up way too fast and time is flying by.  The sisters don't seem to be growing up as fast but, still pretty fast!  But, as I think about him, growing up, starting to shave, have girlfriends, driving, and thinking about college I get a bit weepy.  As not only does that mean that he will be off and out of the house sooner than I would like but, also his sisters will be following shortly after. 

But, then I get even more weepy as I think about the high school tuition, the college tuition, the cars we have to buy and insure, the dates we will support, the number of heart breaks we will comfort, the number of boys and girls I will probably LOVE that my children won't.  Oh and the amount of money Steve and I will spend flying around the country seeing our children in their different colleges and the trips we will pay for to bribe them with so they will spend time with us over their breaks instead of their friends.  I am sure I will be part of the working force by then trying to pay for it all and as I really start to think of it all, when my son is a senior in college and getting ready to head out into the job world, I will also have a sophomore in college, a freshman in college and a freshman in high school.  OH the tuition!!!!!

But, really, oh how fast it will all seem to go by.  The years are already flying by, I have the lines on my face to prove it!  So, as we head into ANOTHER new year, (OMG, it was 10 years ago that my boyfriend(now husband) was freaking my out about Y2K!!!) let us remember how fast the years go by and try to hold on to the moment as much as we can.  Treasure those little people! 

I am SO grateful that I have been blessed with being able to stay at home with my people and to see them more than anyone.  My husband often talks about how much he misses and he isn't a traveler for business or works super long hours, and he misses a lot!  Cherish those people you have, let them stay little for as long as possible because there is no going back.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza