The Outspoken Mom Blog

What's it worth?

I am giggling just thinking of writing this blog!  First of all, Good Evening Everyone! 

This blog is based off of a status update I put on my Facebook page last week and the responses and conversations that got started, unfortunately, at the dinner table during our dinner club.  Listen, if you don't have children, this blog won't mean much to you unless you are really clumsy or have really bad luck!  And yes, all of you with children have had to deal with something like this at one point or another...what is it?  What's it worth?

Here is the background story:  Last week, I went into the bathroom, and did my business and got up to flush.  I looked into the toilet and saw a $1 bill sitting right there on top.  Very obvious that our baby had put the dollar we gave her since all the other people got money, into the toilet!!!!!  Of course I couldn't have noticed it first and there was NO WAY I was digging that thing out so, I flushed it.

First the conversations during dinner club started with, "I think I would have fished that out".  Why, because that person wasn't concerned about the dollar bill as much as what that dollar might end up costing him in plumbing repairs by being flushed.  I was willing to take that chance personally.  Then, we started the ever mature conversation of, what is worth you digging into the toilet for? 

We started with money, no one went for the dollar or the five dollar bills, except for the ones concerned about the potential plumbing issues.  But, as we got into the ten and twenty dollar bills, it got interesting.  'Poo or Pee' was one of the questions, depends on my bank balance was another.  Then we moved up to larger bills, a fifty or one hundred!  Even the most squeamish said they would get those out no matter what. 

So, for obvious reasons, the conversation then turned to HOW we would get the money out.  Yes, for those of you who don't know our dinner group, we are a very refined bunch of adults!  Some said a kitchen spoon (ick!), some said tongs (again ick!), I would probably use the toilet brush or something of my husbands for sure!  I would then probably scream and flick the offending money into the tub and run hot water over it for a long time and pour lots of bubble bath over it.  Then, I would leave it in there and have my husband fish it out.  Hahahahaha, seriously, I can picture it now! 

Or, if I was in a really funny mood, I would fish it out, clean it off(or maybe not) and let it dry and just give it to my husband!  Wow, is it bad that I am laughing out loud as I typed that?!  OH the laughing I would do!  I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face I don't think.

I think it is obvious that if the wedding ring or a diamond earring falls in you fish it out for sure!  Although, I might take the chance of flushing first and hoping it is heavy enough to stay at the bottom of the bowl.  Depends on what it was I guess.

I think I would for sure fish out any amount of money over a $5 bill.  I am pretty cheap after all and that is a LOT of money!  The wedding ring for sure, earrings maybe.  I have fished out favorite children's toys before.  That is pretty gross and pretty desperate.  I did what ever responsible parent would do though, I just threw it in a soapy bath with them.  Hey, it isn't like they put it in their mouths, that would be gross!  I do have SOME limits to the level of grossness.

In my 8 1/2 years of parenthood, my husband and I have fished out numerous things from the toilet.  Everything from toys, to money, to jewelry to cell phones.  Yes, in one year alone, I had 4 of my cell phones go into the toilet.  Wow, when you see that child of yours running into the bathroom with your cell phone in hand, it is amazing how fast you can get in there and how much faster they can!  That toilet lid comes up and that cell phone is in the toilet before you can even reach the door to the bathroom! 

Once one of our children threw down this toy they got for Easter.  It was a little plastic bunny or something and it had an Easter egg on its belly that you pushed and it made music.  It was a cheap toy, probably from the dollar section.  Well, one of them threw it in the toilet and must have flushed the toilet because we heard this music for weeks!  We couldn't figure out where it was coming from because it was muffled and low but, it was slowly driving my husband insane.  Finally, one day, I come home from the grocery store and I see our toilet sitting on its side in our back yard!  What the....what on earth was happening!  Steve had finally cracked and taken off the whole toilet and dug around inside that thing until he found the toy and got it out.  THAT is something definitely NOT worth it to me!  Especially taking the whole toilet out!

So, as we head into the holidays and your children will be heading out to family's houses or they are coming to yours, what is it worth?  What would you fish out of the toilet?  What would you flush?

That is your ice breaker or dinner question of the night!  Sure to be a real crowd pleaser and I am sure you will learn some things about your family and friends you never thought you would! 

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

PS:  I totally know by the way, who the REAL blogger of the family is!  My husbands blog broke my all time record for hits on my blog site....we have NO clue where all these people came from but, wow hope you all keep reading!

Merry F-ing Christmas!

Good Evening Everyone!

Can you tell I am a bit stressed out about Christmas and it is still/only 12 days away?!

I find myself angry, upset, even crying!  Yes, today I actually weeped so hard I cried myself to sleep and missed the whole first half of the Vikings game.  What is going on here?!  Christmas. 

Christmas this year seems to be more of a 4 letter word than the joyous occasion of Christ's birth.  I officially envy all those people that don't do gifts on Christmas.  As the time ticks down, I find myself angry and yelling at my children constantly.  Why?!  Because I am already stressed out about all the crap they are going to start bringing into my house that they won't clean up.

My basement looks like a bomb went off everyday and everyday I ask the children to clean it up and everyday they whine and pout and stomp off or cry.  So everyday I get angry, I scream, I yell and nothing gets cleaned up.  Or, if I do pick it all up, they come down, pull everything out and play with it all and not 2 days later you can't even tell I have cleaned up.

I can't tell you how many times I have told them over the 8 years we have lived here, NO FOOD IN THE BASEMENT!  Yet, every time I go down there, there are food wrappers, bowls, silverware, glasses thrown into the corner between the 2 couches.  We have this great square cube that I bought last year to store all of the Wii games and remotes in it PLUS, the TV/VCR remotes.  There is NOTHING in that thing and the top is thrown across the room.

I have a really nice bookshelf for movies and DVD's, nothing is in its case, the movies/DVD's are strewn all over the floor down there.  We have a great IKEA shelving unit with doors to and each child has their own entire unit to themselves.  They are mostly empty as the toys are all over the floor.  The baby can't play in the basement without tripping over something, especially the laundry pile at the bottom of the basement steps.  Why?  Well, because some f-ing genius put the laundry chute in the hall in the basement and made a laundry room the size of a small closet.  Then, my darling children have decided it is just SO much fun to play in the laundry pile and throw it all over.  OR my favorite thing is when they don't want to put away their folded laundry and they just throw it back on top of the dirty pile and I don't notice it until I am sorting laundry and realize half of the stuff I just threw in the washer was clean!

Also, you add that my darling husband has his closet and bathroom down there and he very similar to my children can't seem to understand cleaning up or putting things away as I often find his clothes from the day before strewn over various couches and chairs throughout the house.  Not to mention his numerous jackets he hangs on the banister at the top of the stairs so, it makes it not only impossible not to step on them when trying to go down the basement stairs but, you can't grab onto the banister and it makes very scary when my baby is climbing up and down those stairs over coats.

Yes, I am frustrated, I am stressed out and I am overwhelmed by Christmas already.  I DO NOT want my children to get any more gifts!  I could care less if they ever had anything new again.  They are selfish and refuse to help me in anyway around the house.  I would give my children the world if only they would help me clean the house just once in a while!  Money doesn't work, they could care less about allowances because we have this stupid thing in our house that they shouldn't have to earn things, they are children.  BS!

Listen, I am stressed, I am NOT thinking nice, warm and fluffy thought about Christmas.  I an NOT thinking joyfully about the birth of Jesus and I do NOT have sugarplums dancing in my head!  My house is messy, disorganized, bursting at the seams with crap and I am sick of it!  I am busy too people!  Yes, I know I don't work, I know it is MY job to organize the schedules, to cook all the meals, to clean all the clothes, to do ALL the Christmas shopping, to volunteer at the schools, to make sure the children are in sports, to buy all the birthday party gifts, to bake all the cookies and snacks, and to make sure everyone is happy and healthy.  I get that.  That IS my job but, sometimes, my job, my schedule and my life gets TOO hectic and I get overwhelmed and it would be nice if my family could see that happening or take some of the load off sometimes.

Granted, I totally suck at being Martha Stewart, listen, I am not even Rachel Ray!  But, crap, I try, I really do.  Maybe I try too hard at somethings and not the right things?  I know my husband wants me to make HOT appetizers for parties, especially hot dips.  But, honey, I SUCK at making those things!  Especially dips!  I can make so many other good apps.  Isn't that enough?  Can't we start focusing on what I am good at instead of trying to get me to do more! 

I will never be an ironer, I will never be a seamstress, I can't make homemade stockings, I don't know how to knit more than a scarf and a hat, I don't know how to make a good artichoke, crab or spinach dip.  I just don't. 

My girls won't wear bows in there hair no matter how much I try, my son won't wear a tie, and my husband doesn't wear socks(actually none of us do, sorting socks is exhausting to me!).  I will never have gleaming floors, clean windows, or dustless blinds and ceiling fans.  My dogs will always smell and my cats will always need to be brushed. 

But, my children are healthy, my children are fed well, I am a great cook, I can bake pretty well too.  I adore watching my children involved in sports and activities and very rarely miss ANYTHING they are in.  I will ALWAYS cry when I see them on stage or when they score a goal because I am so happy for them!  I try to make sure their teachers have gifts, their friends have gifts and they have all the jeans, hats, and whatever else they need for their plays, recitals, and shows. 

I may freak out every once in a while but, I will always love my family and they will always come first.  I just want a LITTLE in return once in a while.  Just a little appreciation for the stuff I DO do around the house.  I don't always want the focus to be on what I don't do, what you don't have, what I don't have, and what I/you want. 

Life is so much more than this, it has to be.  Christmas is about the birth of our Saviour nothing else.  Next year, I pray it will be different, I pray there will be less gifts, less running around, less selfishness.  I know with 4 children ages 18 months, 6, 7, and 8 it is hard but, someday, some year I KNOW it will all pay off.  I know this, it is the ONLY way I can keep going some days.

So, as I sit here feeling so much better for just getting all of that off my chest, don't live your Christmas like me this year!  Relax, take a breath, breathe it all in and smell the smells, hear the sounds, and see the lights.  Remember the reason for this time of year as truly it really is only all about Jesus and we all need to get back to that.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Thanksgiving and just plain, Thanks.

Good Morning Everyone!

As I sit at my computer this morning listening to my baby scream at me, because I won't hold her 24 hours a day without a break, I am reflecting on things I am thankful for in my life.  So, in honor of tomorrow being Thanksgiving I thought I would write a thankful blog!

I have so much to be thankful for in my life it is hard to know where to even begin.  First of all, I am thankful that I have my faith in God to guide me through this life.  It isn't always easy to live in this world but, with God's guidance and constant love I feel like everything will always be OK even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

I am thankful for all of my childhood dreams coming true, even if they weren't exactly how I pictured it, they really did all come true.  I am thankful for my crazy, messy, teeny home filled with 4 beautiful children and a husband who truly was created just for me.  I am thankful for all of my parents and I have a lot of them!  I am thankful for my mother who did the best she could under our circumstances, I am thankful for my father who never really grew up but, at the same time hasn't grown old because of it and I love that about him! 

Let me tell you all, something, I am thankful for all I have no matter what!  I would much rather have my baby pulling at my leg and crying than not have her.  I would much rather have a mother that I don't really see eye to eye with than not have a mother at all.  I know many people that are going through some rather difficult things right now and I pray that in writing a blog like this, everyone can find something to be thankful for in their lives.  No matter how difficult life seems to be right now, or how sad or how wrong everything seems to be, there is always something to be thankful for. 

I have always been a very positive person.  Yes, in reading some of my blogs you might not always see that positivity but, if you knew me in person, you would see a lot of it.  Remember my blogs are just a window into my life, they are not my entire life.  Life is good, it is hard but, it is good.  Unfortunately with the good comes the bad and sometimes life seems overly unfair and difficult but, I know from my experiences it always gets better somehow, someway. 

Looking back at my life, at all of those boyfriends I cried over because I thought my life would end because they weren't 'the one'.  Thank GOD those relationships ended!  Otherwise, I wouldn't have my husband, my 4 children, my cat, my dog, my home, my LIFE!  I am thankful for those relationships and everything I went through with them, they helped form who I am now and I learned how to deal with certain things.  I am thankful for my husband losing his job not once but, twice and then three times in 4 years.  Yes, I am very thankful for that time in our lives.  Not only did it help us to grow as a couple and a family but, it also led us to people that we would have never met.  It led us to grow in our faith, it taught us how to lean on friends and on God.  It also showed us what it is truly like to be on the verge of losing everything you own.  I am so thankful for that time in my life.  It has taught me that people with less than myself deserve the same things as I do if not more!  I got over myself and my thinking that people should just be thankful they are getting food when I gave food to the food shelves.  No longer, now I give them what I would want and what I wanted when my family had to 'shop' at the food shelf each month.

I am thankful for good friends that have stood by my family and I through our ups and downs.  I am thankful for friends that we have stood by and continue to stand by through their ups and downs.    Life is so much more than things.  Life is so much more than stuff.  Life is so much more than money.  I have seen too many people gain and then lose it all, I have seen so many people lose so much yet, they continue to live, they continue to grow and they hopefully continue to learn from past mistakes.

Life is a hard thing to do sometimes but, there is always something to be thankful for if you really look around.  Life is full of lessons to learn and grow from.  You can hold on to the past and live a life of regret.  You can hold on to the future of someday and miss the present.  I am learning to live in the now.  I am learning that right now is what matters and right now is where I need to focus.  Yes, you need to look at your past and be thankful for the lessons learned and be thankful for the memories.  Yes, you need to look to your future and be thankful for what you might be like then.  Yes, you need to plan for the future however, you also need to live for today and be thankful for each day you have. 

Use your head, use your heart, and most importantly, lean on your friends and your God for guidance.  I am thankful everyday for so much including you!  I am thankful I have a voice that can reach out to others and to hopefully touch people.

Thank you all for walking through a small window of my life with me and to those dear friends of mine who read this blog, thank you so much for walking through a rather large door of my life with me.  Thank you to my husband for walking through the largest cave of my life with me and not only still staying with me but, loving me even more to spite myself.  Thank you to my children for loving me even when you 'hate' me and for giving me the greatest joy I have ever experienced in life.  I pray that I won't mess you all up too bad and that your therapy bills won't be too high when you are adults :-)
Thank you to my parents for rushing into marriage and having me.  Even though things didn't work out for your marriage, you taught me so much about what kind of a mom, wife, friend I want to be. Thank you to my step-father who has always treated me like his own daughter and who often played 2nd fiddle to my 'real' dad for much of the fun but, stood by me through the icky stuff.
Thank you to my extended family of step-people, Aunts, Uncles, a Grandfather, cousins, 'brother', mother in law, sisters and other in-laws and who ever else is part of my rather LARGE extended family!  All of you have guided me and watched over me in some special way and all of you have helped me to be who I am.  Many of you are still walking with me in life on a regular basis and I am so thankful to you all for being here.  Not just because you are family and you have to but, because you want to. 

Thank you dearly to my friends.  My current group of friends is the closest and most loving group of friends I have had in my life.  Some have been friends for a long time, most are newer friends that have only in recent years become a part of my 'family'.  I have friends that I can truly lean on, rely on, and trust.  My friends not only love me but, they love my husband and my children and it is fun to walk through life with these people!

Lastly and most importantly, thank you to God!  Lord, I would have nothing without you.  Thank you for constantly pursuing me and relentlessly pursuing me!  Thank you for loving me when I probably didn't deserve it and holding me when I needed it.  Thank you for never letting me go and thank you for guiding me even when I fought you every step of the way.  Thank you for allowing me your forgiveness over and over and over again!  Thank you for hitting me over the head with your 'love' mallet and for FINALLY letting me see, feel, and trust your love!  October 15, 2000 truly was the best day of my life and I am thankful that I now am able to live a life devoted to you.

This Thanksgiving what are you all thankful for?  No matter what is going on in your life right now, stop, sit down, and think about all the things you are thankful for.  Be sure to thank someone today, you never know if that will become their thankful part of the day.  God is good all the time and all the time, God is good!

Blessings to you all this Thanksgiving Holiday!

-Liza

New guidelines

Good Afternoon Everyone!

I am in such a great mood today I can hardly stand it!  I got a 3 hour break from the baby today and was able to get the convertible out of the garage!  It is so nice and sunny out there with no wind that I even got warm and had to take my jacket off!!!!  LOVE the convertible, love, love, love.  Yes, there is nothing better than feeling the wind in your hair and the sun on your face while driving around the city.  Fall is truly becoming my new favorite season.  Who knew having a convertible would actually be MORE enjoyable in the fall than the summer!

So, yes sorry to those who do not have a convertible, I am totally rubbing it in and I am apologizing only for that but, not for how terrific I feel now.  I have been in such a slump lately and that was the perfect medicine for my weary mind, body and soul.  I also think the 3 hours away from the baby during the day was a much needed break too.  I want a nanny!!!!  Oh just once or twice a week for 2-3 hours would be delightful.

Ok, now here comes my bummer part of my blog.  I am not going to let it get me down but, I am so upset by it all and I not only fear for myself but, I also fear terribly for my 3 daughters and their friends.  What has got me so upset?  Our new health care guidelines that are coming out of the woodwork.  It is terrifying and if you don't think there is any correlation between these new guidelines and our new health care bill trying to get passed right now you are naive.

I haven't had a family member or a friend with breast cancer and it really hasn't touched my life directly.  However, it has touched me indirectly.  My best friends mom died from it when we were in 10th grade and every Mother's Day I used to walk in the Susan G. Koman breast cancer walk with my family.  It was something I wanted to do for those women and it was a fun easy thing for my family to do with me for my gift on Mother's Day.  The only reason we quit doing it was because it used to be at the mall right behind my house and we could walk from our house to the event.  Now the event has moved to another mall and with 4 little people, it just isn't convenient anymore.  But, it was our favorite thing to do for 5 years on Mother's Day.

I worry about this new announcement that women don't need mammograms until age 50.  Even though the American Cancer Society doesn't believe that and it has been proven to save many women's lives.  What I don't understand is, isn't it cheaper to catch the cancer early than to pay for all those long radiation/chemotherapy sessions just to have someone die anyway in some cases?  Isn't preventive care cheaper?

Then, when I really got enraged was today when they announced that women in their 20's don't need to have a pap smear every year, they can skip a year because cervical cancer is really a slow growing cancer.  Um, HELLO?!!!  If I have cervical cancer, I want it found sooner than later!  Especially when I was in my 20's and I still wasn't married and wanted children some day!!!  Many times if you get cervical cancer and you don't catch it early enough, not only are you risking your life but, you are risking your reproductive life too!

It CAN be a slow growing cancer but, it also can grow rapidly especially in younger women that aren't in monogamous relationships.  Also, for women in their 20's that more than likely aren't married and having more than one partner in their 20's (which is 10 years people) they are putting themselves and their bodies in peril if they aren't getting regular pap smears.  I predict if people start following those recommendations, not only will cervical cancer rates go up but, so will infertility rates, STD rates (which are already increasing!) and unfortunately abortion rates too.  Because you need to have a yearly pap smear when you are on birth control right now, however, if that changes too, many young women will not see their doctor for up to 2 years.  Will they still be allowed to be on birth control for 2 years without being monitored? 

I guess the good news is, the government is cutting back on preventative care(to 'save' money) but, here is the good news people, we will cover abortions so, hey who cares if the woman gets cervical cancer or breast cancer as long as she doesn't have to pay for the abortion all is good.  What is wrong with this picture?!!

Listen, I am all for women's choice, I am all for the right to choose but, you are taking away the right to choose when you take away the woman in her 20's (usually the highest amount of abortions) from a doctor yearly and really maybe her ONLY person she can freely talk with about birth control, STD's, pregnancy and prevention of it, and more.   Planned Parenthood truly will become just an abortion center then.  You will take away any chance they have and any other clinic has of preventing the pregnancy or cervical cancer in the first place!  OH wait, we have that really neat cervical cancer vaccine....that's right, go for it girls!  Have all the free sex you want!  The government will pay for your vaccine to keep you 'safe' from cancer and well if you happen to get pregnant, don't worry about it because your government will then help you out and pay for your abortion too.

We aren't going to teach you anything about taking care of yourself but, hey, you don't need to take care of yourself, the government will take care of you.  hahahahahaha...BS!!!

Now back to mammograms.  I am 37 right now.  I have only 2 1/2 years until I should be starting to get my mammograms but, now the new government guidelines are telling me to wait another 12 1/2 years.  I have 4 children I am a stay at home mother, my oldest is 8 and my youngest is almost 18 months.  It is MY job to be here for my children.  It is MY job to take care of them, it is MY job to keep myself healthy any way possible.  It is MY job to exercise, eat right and watch my weight (of which I am currently NOT doing my job well.) and it is MY job to raise my children until they are old enough to take care of themselves.  It is MY job to be here for them and to nurture them.  I CAN NOT do my job if I get breast cancer in the next 12 1/2 years while I am waiting to be old enough to have a mammogram.  I CAN NOT  do my job if I get cervical cancer in the 2 years between my pap smears.  The government is taking away my ability to do MY job by taking away MY choices and my health care.

If you don't think you will see more of this happening people I am sorry to say you are in denial and frankly delusional.  This is just the beginning and it will fundamentally change our country for the worse.  I truly believe that. 

For those of you that are for the new government health care a few questions:  Did you know you will be paying for it for 4 years in higher taxes before you even see one health plan?  Hopefully you, your wife, your mother, your daughter won't get cervical or breast cancer in that time. 

Did you know that really all of us HAVE health care right now?  We all have access to health care right now and after the government care we won't ALL have access?  Yes people, everyone currently can go see any doctor or visit any hospital and BY LAW you can not be turned away just because you don't have insurance but, after the government plan goes into place you CAN be turned away because you have the government policy?

Did you know that really if you just open up the borders of health care companies we all could have cheaper, better, more effective and more options of health care?  Why?  Because if the companies actually could cross borders of states and you could truly shop around for a health care plan that not only has the options you want but, also the price you can afford that companies would be forced to charge less for their insurance.  Plus, it would force them to offer more options and to allow more people to be covered by their plans.  Yes, if we just allowed health care companies to offer health care in every state  we would have all the options we wanted and they would be forced to compete for their customers much like Target, Wal Mart and KMart do right now for their customers. 

For all of you who voted for change well, congratulations, you certainly are getting it.  Are you just sure this is the kind of 'change' you really wanted.  I have to say, I saw the best bumper sticker today at my daughter's school and I want one on my truck.  It said, "For you that voted for change, I want mine back."  Now THAT is funny!  Sad but, funny.
 If you look back through out history, everything the government has touched does not turn to gold, it usually turns green.  We are currently more concerned about making everything fair for everyone while destroying everything our country stands for and we are worried more about giving terrorists civil rights and we are more concerned about the rest of the world while we have abandoned our troops in Afghanistan and now, we are taking even more of our beloved freedoms away with government health care.

I didn't know until recently were I stood on this health care initiative.  I was leaning against it but, at the same time since even our family finds it hard to find good and affordable health care I thought, hmmm might be a good idea.  But, as they are changing things before anything happens and people, this really is only the beginning and it scares me terribly.

I can't imagine where this is heading and I am afraid to know.

Here are some links to more information about stats with breast cancer and cervical cancer.  Fight for yourselves ladies, fight for your daughters, your mothers, your friends!  Fight!  Stand up and fight!  Women have changed the world through out history, it is time to change it again and change it quickly before our government changes it for us.

http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/statistics/

http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/STT/STT_0.asp

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/cervical

I love my country, I love my freedom but, I love myself and my family more.  I will die to protect my children, I just hope I don't have to.

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Just a sip to make it through the day.

Good Morning Everyone.

Today is my 3rd child's birthday!  She is 6 years old and she feels like such a big girl today.  I can't believe she is 6 already.  Truly life is flying by at such a fast rate the past few years I feel like I can't keep up. 

I just ordered our Christmas photos yesterday yet I haven't put last years photos in our Christmas album yet and I didn't put those in the album yet because the year before's aren't completely done yet!  (Insert scream here.)

I just put away the Halloween stuff and now I have to dig through the attic and get the Christmas stuff out next week.  I haven't done any shopping yet and even though Christmas is still over a month away, I am already behind it seems!  I am looking down at my calendar as I type and there is not ONE day for the rest of November that we don't have something scheduled.  Then I flip to December and wow, it isn't much better! 

I am overwhelmed!  I am behind the game and the game hasn't even started yet.  Yesterday I was so frazzled I wanted a glass of wine SO bad.  Usually I don't drink because we have nothing in the house but, we have this glorious bottle of white wine just sitting waiting to be opened in our fridge.  Yet, the only time I was free to be able to have a glass was at 10am yesterday morning.  Hey, I can make an excuse for an 11am cocktail/glass of wine but, I can't find any excuse for a 10am glass!  So, I just sat, stressed and wanting just something adult and something to relax with and forget about life for just a few minutes with! 

It sucks, I am discovering my only time to relax with a glass of wine or cocktail is 9 or 10 in the morning.  Hello?!!!!  I may be desperate but, I am not that desperate!  I finally have some alcohol in the house, in fact I have my choice of alcohol in the house (which NEVER happens) and I can't drink any of it because I am too busy driving my people around.  Bad enough to be drinking at home to take the 'edge' off of the stay at home mom freak outs but, whole different ball game if you become the mom that takes a 'roadie' with you while driving your children around!

All jokes aside, I get it, it is serious and for those of you with alcohol issues, sorry, get it, not a joking matter!  But, for you stay at home moms that don't have alcohol issues, you totally get where I am coming from!  Really, drinking is not a part of my life very often but, wow there are some days that a good, stiff drink is the only way you feel like you will ever make it through.  Sometimes it is one of those days you are thinking, "it is either me or the kids"....then you see that lonely wine glass just sitting in your cupboard with dust all over it.  You grab that bottle of wine that has been opened in your fridge for the past 6 months just waiting for this day.  You don't care if the wine is skunked or not, you know it is truly the only thing that will get you through this day without packing up and leaving it all behind. Which for all of you, is NOT an option either.  But man, there are those days when you get why people do it!

So, here is to you ladies, raise your glasses and lets toast to motherhood and all the pleasure and pain it has to offer!  Oh, darn off to drive more people around, raising my water glass up to you all and my glass of wine will have to wait another day.....

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

To vaccinate or to not

Good Evening everyone!

I really should be in bed but, after watching our local news program about vaccines and how they used the 'scary' voice to advertise it, I felt led to write about it in a blog.

I am that parent that has done both.  I have given some of my children ALL the shots and one has received only 2 shots so far.  Why?  Well, my biggest reason is because I don't think we know the answers!  I am choosing to do something because of MY research and MY experiences with MY children and what has happened to them after vaccinations. 

I truly believe there is no right answer when it comes to vaccinations.  I think they are truly good for most people.  However, there is a small percentage of people that a vaccine will kill, mame or utterly change that person for the rest of their life.  It is a small risk however, I am not willing to risk my children without doing everything possible to understand and know WHY and WHAT shots they are getting.  What is DtaP?  What is Pertussis?  What is MMR?  What is Varcella?  They sound like very serious vaccinations and when you read about what the diseases/sicknesses are that they protect you from and read all the side effects of those diseases and what could happen, well of course you are going to vaccinate your child!
However, when you also read and compare what the vaccine is, what is in it, the side effects of those vaccines and what diseases/sicknesses and deaths those have caused well.....what is a parent to do?

The only thing a parent really can do in my mind.  Research, research, research, and then more research!  You will never figure it all out, you will never find what is right and what is wrong and frankly, you will never know the right answer.  But, at least you will be informed and you will be aware.  Until our medical society and doctors start doing a simple test when a baby is born to see if they have a pre-disposition for Autism, sickle-cell, or seizures....well we are all gambling with our children's health whether we choose to or not to vaccinate.

All I know for my family is my son is on the Autism Spectrum.  I DO NOT believe vaccinations caused his Asperger's Syndrome however, I do believe they acerbated it.  I believe he was pre-dis positioned to have it and after seeing how simple foods can affect his behavior and his moods and how he feels, not to mention medicines well, how could I choose to vaccinate him anymore.  His body CAN NOT handle chemicals or certain foods.  Most, if not all vaccines are made in eggs or gelatin, both of which have adverse reactions for my son.  No he is NOT allergic to these foods, in fact they show up on no allergy tests of his as being an issue.  However, as with many children on the Autism Spectrum, after years of working with his diet and watching his behavior change over the years, he body just simply can't handle some foods, chemicals, and environmental hazards, of those, most vaccines fall into those categories.

When my 4th child was born we already had chosen to not vaccinate that baby if it was a boy.  For some reason Autism hits more boys than girls.  But, when she came out a little girl, I truly didn't have any answers.  I read and read and read then, yep I read some more.  I still don't have the right answers but, I feel like I am able to make some educated choices about her and we have decided to vaccinate her however, we have done it on a schedule that we have created with our doctor.  She is almost 18 months old, she has had only 2 vaccinations and is set to get her 3rd soon.  Am I making the right decision, I have no idea.  All I can do is educate myself, ask questions and pray.  I pay attention to who my children are and I keep a very close eye on them before, during, and after receiving vaccines so that if they every do have an issue with a vaccine, I can recognize it quickly so, hopefully we can fix it fast.

So, as our local news station did a story about statewide conscientious objectors in the state of Minnesota by looking at the school districts medical records here come all the questions and frankly very few of the answers. 

I watched the story and even teared up hearing the two mothers stories they interviewed.  After the story was done I quickly ran to my computer to look up my children's school district to see how many children in their districts aren't getting vaccinations.  I knew the numbers would be pretty low.  Frankly, we live in a lower income area and historically, lower income means higher vaccination rates.  It is usually the higher income areas that have lower vaccination rates.  Why?  Usually because of education levels and frankly many who choose not to vaccinate are the ones who do the research and know to ask questions. 

I will say, I giggled when I looked at our school district and realized that we are the ONLY people in the district to not object to one of the vaccines.  I actually was quite surprised that for the varcella vaccination only 2 children didn't have it and they were both mine.  Which, actually is now only 1 of my children because again, after doing research and knowing my child realized that it would actually be much worse for my son to get Chicken Pox than the vaccine (hopefully, I am right.).  Why?  Because there is no way with his texture issues he could handle things all over his body and itching and with his chemical issues and medicine problems, he could handle the anti-itch stuff or Tylenol or Motrin to keep his fever down.  So, we made a decision to give him the vaccination. 
I will say after seeing the stats though, I now totally understand why my children never got Chicken Pox!  Everyone has been vaccinated! 

Anyway, I don't have any right answers, I don't know what is right/wrong.  All I know is I am trying to make the best decisions I can for my children and to give them all the health advantages I can.  I just ask you do some research and think about and ask questions and know what you are putting in your child's body and why.

Here is the link:

http://kstp.com/article/11754/

For those of you in Minnesota you can read the article and find your school districts rates of objectors and what vaccines they are objecting too.  Just so you know, this is ONLY for the vaccinations that are required to start school and to have while in school.

Blessings to you all and those beautiful babies of yours!

-Liza

Be the best you can be.

(Our 5 year old off to her warm-ups for her first meet)

 Good Morning Everyone!

What a wonderful weekend we had over here at the Schwab house.  My 5 year old daughter had her first 'real' swim meet on Saturday and she did great!  She is in the U8 division so, she is swimming against 6 and 7 year olds!!  She is so little out there and she swims her heart out.  I cried every time I watched her race.  I cried for the simple reason of I was so happy for her and she is such an inspiration to people! 

Our 5 year old(who will be 6 in 10 days) is little, always has been.  She is getting bigger but, she was always a peanut and she was my baby for 4 1/2 years until we had our 4th baby, so I still consider her my baby.  She is our little engine that could.  Not being able to do something is NOT in her mind.  She goes out there in anything she does and tries and tries hard.  She actually listens to her coaches (my older 2 don't!!) and she takes what they say to her and uses it to make herself better at what ever sport or activity she might be doing at that moment.

She is nice, kind, self-less, and always willing to try almost anything.  She isn't a dare-devil but, she is willing to do most sports.  She plays soccer in the fall and spring, does dance(ballet and tap), gymnastics, swim team, and ice skating in the winter months.  She wants to try hockey (we just haven't let her yet) and karate and she is fascinated by Yoga.  She practices her sports daily!  Many times during the day you can see her practicing her handstands, practicing her swim strokes in the air making sure her hands are 'just right' and she taps around the house and practices everything her teachers or coaches as of her.

She is a delight to have for a child and I am so pleased that I get the opportunity to be her mom.  She is very excited to teach me how to ski this winter and I am excited for her to do it.  She is a very patient person when it comes to teaching them! 
OH, she does have her moments of frustration, usually aimed at her older brother and sister or mom and dad and she is so soft-hearted she often gets it broken.  Those are things we still need to work on with her to protect her but, the determination to not really win but, to be the best she can be at her particular sport at that time, is amazing.

I have watched her grow in every sport and activity she does and I am so thrilled.  She doesn't necessarily have the most athletic skills, she isn't athletically gifted but, because she listens to her coaches, she practices, and she is determined, she will be a great athlete as she grows. 

I could learn so much from that little girl!  For the same determination she has in sports and activities she also has in school and doing her homework.  She is very determined to finish her homework, do her best and she is very pleased with herself when she has done something well. 

My husband and I have often compared her to a Golden Retriever...no, we don't think our daughter is a dog!  But, if you know Golden's, they have this desire to please their owners, they just want to make them happy.  Our 5 year old is very similar.  She has a desire to make people happy, to please her coaches, and her reward for that is how she feels about her hard work and that is pretty awesome.

Oh and by the way!!!  I have to say, watching swim meets is WAY better than any other kids sport to watch!  It was fast paced, super exciting, you had no clue who anyone was, or for me, what they were doing but, it was entertaining and fun.  I watched a lot of races when I could(I was volunteering in the kitchen) and it was a thrill to see those children race and swim. 

If you ever get the opportunity to watch a swim meet I suggest doing it.  It really felt like it does when you are watching the Olympics, it is high energy and the swimmers are all cheering each other on, it was really cool.  I wish my older 2 were on the swim team too, it is really neat.

Anyway, the baby just woke up so I must go. 

Go out today, put your best into everything you do.  You don't have to be the best but, you have to do your best!!

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Nurture the Nature.

Good Morning Everyone!

So I have been up for over 2 hours already and yet, not much has been done today.  The house looks like a trash house and my laundry somehow has reached epic levels.  Does it ever end?  Really!  When do I get to have staff?  I would really like some staff around the house.  I thought I would have cheap staff having 4 children.  I truly thought it would be built in free child labor, hahahahaha WRONG! 

All children do is create more mess.  This past weekend we switched our children's bedrooms around, again.  Oh yes, this seems to be something we do every couple months lately and frankly, it really isn't a lot of work.  Whatever!  Officially the upstairs now has 3 bedrooms so, we have moved from a 4 bedroom house to now a 5 bedroom house without adding on or moving.  However, never mind the 5th bedroom has no closet and it 7.5 x 7.0 feet (not much smaller than our 'master suite') but, it works and that room comes complete with a super clean child and a even more super cool secret hiding space/playroom.

Our 5 (almost 6) year old daughter really wanted her own room because she is a neat freak and her big sister is a hoarder, oh yes a hoarder!  She has emotional value attached to every single thing in her room.  She can tell you where she got everything and when and nothing can be thrown away because it means too much to her.  So, my almost 6 year old begged us to move her into a different room.  I didn't understand until after we moved her how bad she really needed it.  Her room is perfect, I mean perfect!  She makes her bed every morning, something she didn't do before.  There is nothing on the floor, her shoes are organized in a container underneath her bed, her playroom/attic area is perfectly organized and clean.  I didn't realize how much of a cleaner/organizer she was until we moved her into her little bedroom.

Now, I also didn't realize how much of a hoarder our 7 year old daughter was until I moved her sister out.  Wow, words could never describe the mess I found in there.  When my husband took down their bunk beds...wow.  The amount of just plain crap she had on her bed that she slept with every night, I don't know how she slept!  Then, once the bed was down the amount of things that were underneath the bed!  It took me over 2 days of just going through things, sorting out what is really something to keep and what can be tossed and the clothes!  Wow, I found items of clothing that had been missing for over a year under her bed. 

I am still trying to get everything cleaned up and out of her room and it is Thursday!  That is my plan for the day is to finish her room once and for all today.  I have hauled out 3 full garbage bags out of there already, I had to sweep, yes sweep the carpet before I could vacuum it.   I am taking her bookshelf out of her room because she is such a collector that I am not giving her an opportunity to create massive amounts of collections in her room anymore.  OH!  I forgot, when she saw her room cleaned up and how big her room was(she has the biggest room in the house) she was so excited!  No, not because it was clean but, because she saw how much room there was now and exclaimed, "YAY!  And right before Christmas!  I can fill it up with lots of gifts from Christmas!  Oh mommy, thank you!  I can't wait to fill it up again."  Sigh.

So, I am removing a bookshelf, I moved her bed to the other side of the room, she has a really cute dresser and I added a mirror to the top of it.  She also has a little desk in her room with only book and pencils in it and a nightstand with books on it for her to read and that is it!  Her trunk(that is FILLED with animals) is still in her closet out of the way and her rule is the animals have to be in the trunk or mommy will throw them away.  She even helped me yesterday by throwing away 6 stuffed animals that she had left on the floor!  However, it was only after doing it that she told me it was because she wanted new ones.  Again, sigh.
I love that girl though, she is amazing in every way and her imagination and her heart is pretty incredible.  I guess it is a trade off? 

I have to laugh because really, I am the same way.  My house is filled with 'stuff'.  I love stuff.  I can tell you who gave me what, where I bought what, and when.  I can also probably tell you the price I paid for most of the things in my house.  Granted, I can't remember appointments, dates, what I was doing 5 minutes ago, what I really was going to write this blog about but, I can tell you in great detail the stories behind the 'things' in my house.  I guess when my mother would tell me when I was little, 'I can't wait until you have children, I hope you have one just like you.'  Well, she got her wish and frankly, I don't think it is all that bad. 

Granted, I drive me crazy, and frankly my 7 year old drives me crazy too but, we both have other great qualities and so there!  :-)

It really is amazing how different yet, how similar we all are and I am even more convinced than ever that Nature is MUCH more powerful than Nurture.  Don't get me wrong, they are both just as important but, you can't mess with nature, nature will always win.  You can change nurture and control nurture, you can't change or control nature.  You can try but, you will only get frustrated.  So, embrace that crazy child of yours, embrace those weird tendencies we all have and know THAT is how God made you and God doesn't make mistakes or create imperfect things.

Baby just woke up, need to really start my day now. 

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Diet? or Lifestyle change?

Good Evening Everyone!

Oh wow, it has been so long since I have written and I truly missed it!  Life just isn't getting any easier with 4 children!  Hahahahahahahahaha.  Yes, our lives are crazy however, I wouldn't change it, any of it for the world.
I love my children, I love being a stay at home mom and I love being a wife. 

My husband is busier than he has ever been at work, apparently when you own your own business, you are not only the owner but the secretary, the computer geek, the phone tech, and the delivery boy.  All of those roles my husband has been playing lately, in addition to his executive/trader role.  Sorry honey but, at least you are working for you and not someone else.  I promise it will pay off someday.

So, I need to give you all an update on our son.  I can't remember if I wrote about this or not but, he saw a DAN doctor a few weeks ago.  A DAN doctor is a Defeat Autism Now doctor.  They specialize in treating people on the Autism Spectrum.  As you all know our son has Asperger's Syndrome which is considered a high functioning form of Autism.

Well, after seeing the doctor we have radically changed his diet and wow, the results have been so amazing.  It has been almost 2 weeks since the diet change and everyone is noticing including our son and his classmates.  For the first time all school year he is sitting in class, listening and not bothering the other students.  I am so pleased with how well he is taking this new diet.  It isn't easy for him, it isn't easy for any of us but, it is worth it to see my son finally happy at school and actively participating in his class.

It is amazing how dependant our family had become on 'processed' foods over the years.  Now that I have to feed my son ONLY Organic, whole foods..nothing processed, nothing conventionally grown, no GMO's, no wheat, no dairy, no gluten, no casein, no sugar, no soy, no eggs and minimal amounts of meat.
So, pretty much he is to eat mostly vegetables and fruit with a small amount of meat and even smaller amounts of grains or simple carbs.

It is really eating a diet of the foods God created.  Nothing processed, nothing 'man-made' or machine made.  Just whole, organic foods.  Seems easy enough but, wow, it is really, really difficult but so worth it for my guy.  He is happier, he listens better, he is calmer, he flat out enjoys life so much more.  It is nice to see the my true son coming out again.

I want to challenge all of you to try cutting back or even cutting out some of the processed foods.  Even if they seem healthy.  Try only shopping the outside of the grocery store.  Try only buying organic, foods and only grass-fed beef and free range chicken.  Limit your proteins, they aren't as good as you might think.  Keep your diet simple yet, colorful.  Eat more legumes, beans, and such.  It is fun experimenting and trying new foods that we would have never tried without this diet.  I am trying new recipes and frankly, even though my son may not like some of the new foods, with 6 people in the family, I have yet to make a recipe that at least one person didn't like!  So, I take that as a mark in the win column.

Try it, just for a week.  We are doing our diet for our son for 6 months but, try eating a diet for one week without all the processed stuff and I promise, you will see a change not only in your children but, in yourself too.

Blessings to all of you and if you do try it for a week, or even a day...please let me know how it went for you, I would love to hear!

-Liza

Health Care reform and H1N1.

Good Morning,

I am a bit frustrated and ornery so, watch out!  OK, that is my disclaimer for the day.  So much going on with the family lately.  First of all, we have H1N1 in the house.  It sucks.  It seems to be getting worse as it moves through the family leaving me very worried for our baby who has yet to get it.

My 5 year old daughter just woke up crying with a temp of over 104.  She tested negative yesterday morning for the pig flu (yes, that is what WE call it) and by the time dinner rolled around, her temp was spiking up to 103.  So, please be careful with your children and yourself.

Many doctors both friends and the doctors we have seen have said, if you see a temp before November, it is H1N1.  We were told yesterday at the doctor if she gets a temp, she has the virus.  So, if anyone in your family gets a temp, get in there and get tested and then, STAY THE F HOME!!!!  I am so sick of hearing of all these people who are too busy to stay at home when they are sick or running a fever.  My father just left on a business trip, which includes him flying on a plane to at least 2 different cities all while he is sick.  But, in this 'economy' he feels like he needs to continue doing business.  So, he is traveling.  Yep, and we wonder how this stuff gets around so fast.

I am not sure if I am for health care reform or not either.  Man, I am even more frustrated with that crap!  Our family has terrific coverage, and a low cost because we are on our state run insurance and as we are trying to find new health care for our family, I am growing more and more frustrated that there are NO policies out there that don't have deductibles that aren't obscene.  The lowest I could find is $3000 but, that is paying about $700 a month and then still having to pay out of pocket the first $3000!!  Holy cow.  I am very willing to pay more a month if they just cover everything from the start.  I don't want my worrying about money get behind whether I take my children or myself to the doctor or not.

I have many friends that do everything but take their children or themselves to the doctor.  I don't want to be like that, if my children are sick, I want to take them to the doctor.  I have 4 children and the faster I get them to the doctor, most times the faster we are all better and the less people in our family get sick if it is something like pig flu or strep or whatever.

I need to go, my over bearing husband who doesn't think I am capable of taking care of my sick children just got home.

Oh one more thing that makes me anti health care reform...last night found out Merck quit making the MMR vaccine in separate doses due to pressure from Congress.  Stop legislating MY life and my children's life.  If I choose to still vaccinate but, I would like the shots done one at a time instead of in mega doses, that should be MY choice no my governments. 

So, there you see, I am VERY torn on the health care reform.

The baby is awake now.  Please keep you and your children home if they are sick and anyone with any answers about health care reform, please let me know.

Oh...and I am fine with my husband...just a bit grumpy today.

Blessings to you all,

Liza