Good Evening Everyone!
What a great Friday night! I just got done watching some TV on my computer with my husband while our daughter's watched a movie in the basement and now, they are in bed and my house is quiet except for the gently hum of the dishwasher.
I laugh at how much the silence drives me nuts because of how much silence there was when I was growing up but, I also cherish the silence sometimes. Again I believe it is because it must be some sort of 'safe' place or something for me. I am sure some psychologist could break it down for me if I would ever go to one...which by the way, I probably won't :-)
I frankly like how a little off center I am. I think it is part of what has made me a survivor during some unsavory parts of my growing up life. Now that I am older, that off center person is a lot more centered and that is because of my stability and my "out of sight, out of mind" world I live in. Things truly do roll down my back and into lala land most of the time. That is why I think I am good at being so outspoken because really, I just want to get people thinking and frankly, not too much bugs me enough to stop. I will say, there are some things that do bother me enough though where I feel I need to voice myself even more! This is one of those times.
So, this morning I posted a blog....oh, excuse me, according to one of the comments, I should say, "entry" or "post". So, sue me, when I wrote my BLOG for the Star Tribune this morning I knew it would be/could be a firestorm. It was.
I don't want to give those people that commented too much press or time since most of their comments I have noticed since blogging for the Trib are based on skimming and not reading the whole article and also, because I write how I speak and so, many times if you don't know me you can fully mis-understand my meanings. But, since many of my readers here also read my Trib blog, I thought what the hay, I can clear up some things, get them off my chest and feel good and then be over and done with it all! See, I am what they call a barfer. I am one of those people that needs to 'barf out' all of my issues in one big well, barf. When something is bothering me, I 'barf' all over someone and then I feel better and I move on. Often times, those people are left just puzzled and wondering what just happened but, I am ok and that is how I 'purge' out my feelings and frustrations. Obviously I hope you all know I truly don't throw up on people! But, I am a 'let it all out' person and what were considered 'freak outs' when I was younger are now more precise barfing sessions done under a more controlled environment.
This is my controlled environment! I will do my proverbial barfing all over my own blog instead of 'freaking out' on the Star Tribune blog like I would have in my younger years. It works for me and it is my therapy so, work with me people!
So, I wrote about stay at home moms and working moms and how I believe it is a choice to stay at home or work...unless blah, blah you are a single parent ok I get it. Oh I feel better already! I love my OWN blog because I can say truly whatever I want!
Anyway, there were some comments made that truly didn't get what I was trying to say, as usual. First of all, I had to write it more like a 'community' blog instead of a blog just about ME. So, when I said, "You don't need the fancy car, the house, blah, blah, blah" I really would have liked to have said, I don't need those things. But, again what many people forget is I am writing a COMMUNITY blog trying to hit the general population. Obviously it is not going to fit all people! It is like the bell curve of grading. That is my blogging, I am the bell curve of blogs. Someone will always get an A, someone will always get an F but, most of the people will be in the middle.
What many of these people don't get either is I live in Richfield! Hello, it isn't glamorous but, it is a good life! I like my life. People assume things about us living here, assume on people! I think my husband and I frankly were led by the hand of God to move here. We weren't looking here, we were looking in Edina at homes 1 bedroom smaller and $100,000 more expensive! The only 2 houses we put offers on were both in Richfield! We had no intention of living in Richfield and sort of felt in shock when we sat in the closing of our house as to how we ended up living in RICHFIELD! Seriously. I personally felt I was a bit 'too good' for Richfield but, we knew we were only going to be here for a year or two until we found something 'better'. Haha, that was 8 years ago and we still have no intention of moving!
God had a plan for us and we praise him listened! If we hadn't listened, we would have lost our home and who knows what else. Us buying a 3 bedroom home instead of our 4 bedroom home would have been horrible because hey, we filled up our house in less than 2 years! Also, it would have ruined us had we purchased a home $100,000 more than ours since Steve didn't have a job for almost 4 years. God watched over us and still is.
Now, we wouldn't ever purchase a house that we needed two incomes for, wouldn't happen. And NO, I don't feel there is a stigma of stay at home moms. I know other stay at home moms feel that stigma but, frankly, I know more stay at home moms than I do working moms so, no stigma on my end. Also, for me no career is worth someone else raising my children or getting the best times with my children. NO career! It is hard work being a stay at home mom, I miss out on a lot but, who cares? I like having my people around me, I like that my 20 month old and I are buddies and we hang out together! I didn't have my first child until I was 28 years old, I had 28 years of 'all about me' so, now it is time to put someone else first.
Yes, it is no secret that I feel 1 parent should stay at home with the children. I grew up without parents around, my mom never coming to have lunch with me, no one at my games, getting rides from other parents, making my own breakfast, eating hot lunch everyday until high school when my mom finally did quit working. I LOVED getting bagged lunches for the first time in my life! It was great! From that moment on(I was 16) I knew I wasn't going to work after I had children. No way were any of my children going to miss their mom and I wasn't going to miss them either.
I take exception to the Edina snob (their own words) that assumed again, without knowing that I too didn't pay for my own college that I don't have $40,000 in school loan debt, that it is 'easier' for me to not work because I didn't have a 'career' before having children. Yep, you are right, I didn't have a career but, even if I did, I know with all my heart I would have quit it in an instant for my children. I knew that even as a knocked up girl with no boyfriend that I wasn't going to work 9-5 after having my child because I wanted to raise that baby. So, I quit my full time job with terrific and FREE health/dental benefits but, no flexibility, and starting selling Tupperware so I could insure I could be at home with my child and work nights while the baby slept and make my own hours and dictate how little or much money I made.
There ARE choices, there are always choices. I stand by my saying before, I choose my children. Some women don't they choose there careers. I am NOT ripping on working moms, I just want you all to admit that yes, you are choosing your career. That is all. I also stand by what I said before, you can't have it all, something will suffer and unfortunately it is usually the children.
Someday I might have to work, I know that but, hopefully it won't be until my son heads off to college and the girls are in jr high and high school. See, that is another thing I have vowed to do and I will do everything in my power to make happen. I know how horrible it is to have the burden of student loans, especially since I don't even work! Steve and I know that we plan on paying for our children's college no matter what the cost. We don't want our children taking out huge loans and we don't want them having to work their way through college either. We have 4 children we plan on putting through college and some how, we will find a way to pay for it too. Even if it means Steve and I each working 2 jobs, we will find a way.
So, there is my barf. Now go take a shower and I will go on my merry way feeling so much better :-)
Thanks for sticking with me even through my rants and raves!
Blessings to you all,
-Liza
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