The Outspoken Mom Blog

New guidelines

Good Afternoon Everyone!

I am in such a great mood today I can hardly stand it!  I got a 3 hour break from the baby today and was able to get the convertible out of the garage!  It is so nice and sunny out there with no wind that I even got warm and had to take my jacket off!!!!  LOVE the convertible, love, love, love.  Yes, there is nothing better than feeling the wind in your hair and the sun on your face while driving around the city.  Fall is truly becoming my new favorite season.  Who knew having a convertible would actually be MORE enjoyable in the fall than the summer!

So, yes sorry to those who do not have a convertible, I am totally rubbing it in and I am apologizing only for that but, not for how terrific I feel now.  I have been in such a slump lately and that was the perfect medicine for my weary mind, body and soul.  I also think the 3 hours away from the baby during the day was a much needed break too.  I want a nanny!!!!  Oh just once or twice a week for 2-3 hours would be delightful.

Ok, now here comes my bummer part of my blog.  I am not going to let it get me down but, I am so upset by it all and I not only fear for myself but, I also fear terribly for my 3 daughters and their friends.  What has got me so upset?  Our new health care guidelines that are coming out of the woodwork.  It is terrifying and if you don't think there is any correlation between these new guidelines and our new health care bill trying to get passed right now you are naive.

I haven't had a family member or a friend with breast cancer and it really hasn't touched my life directly.  However, it has touched me indirectly.  My best friends mom died from it when we were in 10th grade and every Mother's Day I used to walk in the Susan G. Koman breast cancer walk with my family.  It was something I wanted to do for those women and it was a fun easy thing for my family to do with me for my gift on Mother's Day.  The only reason we quit doing it was because it used to be at the mall right behind my house and we could walk from our house to the event.  Now the event has moved to another mall and with 4 little people, it just isn't convenient anymore.  But, it was our favorite thing to do for 5 years on Mother's Day.

I worry about this new announcement that women don't need mammograms until age 50.  Even though the American Cancer Society doesn't believe that and it has been proven to save many women's lives.  What I don't understand is, isn't it cheaper to catch the cancer early than to pay for all those long radiation/chemotherapy sessions just to have someone die anyway in some cases?  Isn't preventive care cheaper?

Then, when I really got enraged was today when they announced that women in their 20's don't need to have a pap smear every year, they can skip a year because cervical cancer is really a slow growing cancer.  Um, HELLO?!!!  If I have cervical cancer, I want it found sooner than later!  Especially when I was in my 20's and I still wasn't married and wanted children some day!!!  Many times if you get cervical cancer and you don't catch it early enough, not only are you risking your life but, you are risking your reproductive life too!

It CAN be a slow growing cancer but, it also can grow rapidly especially in younger women that aren't in monogamous relationships.  Also, for women in their 20's that more than likely aren't married and having more than one partner in their 20's (which is 10 years people) they are putting themselves and their bodies in peril if they aren't getting regular pap smears.  I predict if people start following those recommendations, not only will cervical cancer rates go up but, so will infertility rates, STD rates (which are already increasing!) and unfortunately abortion rates too.  Because you need to have a yearly pap smear when you are on birth control right now, however, if that changes too, many young women will not see their doctor for up to 2 years.  Will they still be allowed to be on birth control for 2 years without being monitored? 

I guess the good news is, the government is cutting back on preventative care(to 'save' money) but, here is the good news people, we will cover abortions so, hey who cares if the woman gets cervical cancer or breast cancer as long as she doesn't have to pay for the abortion all is good.  What is wrong with this picture?!!

Listen, I am all for women's choice, I am all for the right to choose but, you are taking away the right to choose when you take away the woman in her 20's (usually the highest amount of abortions) from a doctor yearly and really maybe her ONLY person she can freely talk with about birth control, STD's, pregnancy and prevention of it, and more.   Planned Parenthood truly will become just an abortion center then.  You will take away any chance they have and any other clinic has of preventing the pregnancy or cervical cancer in the first place!  OH wait, we have that really neat cervical cancer vaccine....that's right, go for it girls!  Have all the free sex you want!  The government will pay for your vaccine to keep you 'safe' from cancer and well if you happen to get pregnant, don't worry about it because your government will then help you out and pay for your abortion too.

We aren't going to teach you anything about taking care of yourself but, hey, you don't need to take care of yourself, the government will take care of you.  hahahahahaha...BS!!!

Now back to mammograms.  I am 37 right now.  I have only 2 1/2 years until I should be starting to get my mammograms but, now the new government guidelines are telling me to wait another 12 1/2 years.  I have 4 children I am a stay at home mother, my oldest is 8 and my youngest is almost 18 months.  It is MY job to be here for my children.  It is MY job to take care of them, it is MY job to keep myself healthy any way possible.  It is MY job to exercise, eat right and watch my weight (of which I am currently NOT doing my job well.) and it is MY job to raise my children until they are old enough to take care of themselves.  It is MY job to be here for them and to nurture them.  I CAN NOT do my job if I get breast cancer in the next 12 1/2 years while I am waiting to be old enough to have a mammogram.  I CAN NOT  do my job if I get cervical cancer in the 2 years between my pap smears.  The government is taking away my ability to do MY job by taking away MY choices and my health care.

If you don't think you will see more of this happening people I am sorry to say you are in denial and frankly delusional.  This is just the beginning and it will fundamentally change our country for the worse.  I truly believe that. 

For those of you that are for the new government health care a few questions:  Did you know you will be paying for it for 4 years in higher taxes before you even see one health plan?  Hopefully you, your wife, your mother, your daughter won't get cervical or breast cancer in that time. 

Did you know that really all of us HAVE health care right now?  We all have access to health care right now and after the government care we won't ALL have access?  Yes people, everyone currently can go see any doctor or visit any hospital and BY LAW you can not be turned away just because you don't have insurance but, after the government plan goes into place you CAN be turned away because you have the government policy?

Did you know that really if you just open up the borders of health care companies we all could have cheaper, better, more effective and more options of health care?  Why?  Because if the companies actually could cross borders of states and you could truly shop around for a health care plan that not only has the options you want but, also the price you can afford that companies would be forced to charge less for their insurance.  Plus, it would force them to offer more options and to allow more people to be covered by their plans.  Yes, if we just allowed health care companies to offer health care in every state  we would have all the options we wanted and they would be forced to compete for their customers much like Target, Wal Mart and KMart do right now for their customers. 

For all of you who voted for change well, congratulations, you certainly are getting it.  Are you just sure this is the kind of 'change' you really wanted.  I have to say, I saw the best bumper sticker today at my daughter's school and I want one on my truck.  It said, "For you that voted for change, I want mine back."  Now THAT is funny!  Sad but, funny.
 If you look back through out history, everything the government has touched does not turn to gold, it usually turns green.  We are currently more concerned about making everything fair for everyone while destroying everything our country stands for and we are worried more about giving terrorists civil rights and we are more concerned about the rest of the world while we have abandoned our troops in Afghanistan and now, we are taking even more of our beloved freedoms away with government health care.

I didn't know until recently were I stood on this health care initiative.  I was leaning against it but, at the same time since even our family finds it hard to find good and affordable health care I thought, hmmm might be a good idea.  But, as they are changing things before anything happens and people, this really is only the beginning and it scares me terribly.

I can't imagine where this is heading and I am afraid to know.

Here are some links to more information about stats with breast cancer and cervical cancer.  Fight for yourselves ladies, fight for your daughters, your mothers, your friends!  Fight!  Stand up and fight!  Women have changed the world through out history, it is time to change it again and change it quickly before our government changes it for us.

http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/cervical/statistics/

http://www.cdc.gov/cancer/breast/statistics/

http://www.cancer.org/docroot/STT/STT_0.asp

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/types/cervical

I love my country, I love my freedom but, I love myself and my family more.  I will die to protect my children, I just hope I don't have to.

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

To vaccinate or to not

Good Evening everyone!

I really should be in bed but, after watching our local news program about vaccines and how they used the 'scary' voice to advertise it, I felt led to write about it in a blog.

I am that parent that has done both.  I have given some of my children ALL the shots and one has received only 2 shots so far.  Why?  Well, my biggest reason is because I don't think we know the answers!  I am choosing to do something because of MY research and MY experiences with MY children and what has happened to them after vaccinations. 

I truly believe there is no right answer when it comes to vaccinations.  I think they are truly good for most people.  However, there is a small percentage of people that a vaccine will kill, mame or utterly change that person for the rest of their life.  It is a small risk however, I am not willing to risk my children without doing everything possible to understand and know WHY and WHAT shots they are getting.  What is DtaP?  What is Pertussis?  What is MMR?  What is Varcella?  They sound like very serious vaccinations and when you read about what the diseases/sicknesses are that they protect you from and read all the side effects of those diseases and what could happen, well of course you are going to vaccinate your child!
However, when you also read and compare what the vaccine is, what is in it, the side effects of those vaccines and what diseases/sicknesses and deaths those have caused well.....what is a parent to do?

The only thing a parent really can do in my mind.  Research, research, research, and then more research!  You will never figure it all out, you will never find what is right and what is wrong and frankly, you will never know the right answer.  But, at least you will be informed and you will be aware.  Until our medical society and doctors start doing a simple test when a baby is born to see if they have a pre-disposition for Autism, sickle-cell, or seizures....well we are all gambling with our children's health whether we choose to or not to vaccinate.

All I know for my family is my son is on the Autism Spectrum.  I DO NOT believe vaccinations caused his Asperger's Syndrome however, I do believe they acerbated it.  I believe he was pre-dis positioned to have it and after seeing how simple foods can affect his behavior and his moods and how he feels, not to mention medicines well, how could I choose to vaccinate him anymore.  His body CAN NOT handle chemicals or certain foods.  Most, if not all vaccines are made in eggs or gelatin, both of which have adverse reactions for my son.  No he is NOT allergic to these foods, in fact they show up on no allergy tests of his as being an issue.  However, as with many children on the Autism Spectrum, after years of working with his diet and watching his behavior change over the years, he body just simply can't handle some foods, chemicals, and environmental hazards, of those, most vaccines fall into those categories.

When my 4th child was born we already had chosen to not vaccinate that baby if it was a boy.  For some reason Autism hits more boys than girls.  But, when she came out a little girl, I truly didn't have any answers.  I read and read and read then, yep I read some more.  I still don't have the right answers but, I feel like I am able to make some educated choices about her and we have decided to vaccinate her however, we have done it on a schedule that we have created with our doctor.  She is almost 18 months old, she has had only 2 vaccinations and is set to get her 3rd soon.  Am I making the right decision, I have no idea.  All I can do is educate myself, ask questions and pray.  I pay attention to who my children are and I keep a very close eye on them before, during, and after receiving vaccines so that if they every do have an issue with a vaccine, I can recognize it quickly so, hopefully we can fix it fast.

So, as our local news station did a story about statewide conscientious objectors in the state of Minnesota by looking at the school districts medical records here come all the questions and frankly very few of the answers. 

I watched the story and even teared up hearing the two mothers stories they interviewed.  After the story was done I quickly ran to my computer to look up my children's school district to see how many children in their districts aren't getting vaccinations.  I knew the numbers would be pretty low.  Frankly, we live in a lower income area and historically, lower income means higher vaccination rates.  It is usually the higher income areas that have lower vaccination rates.  Why?  Usually because of education levels and frankly many who choose not to vaccinate are the ones who do the research and know to ask questions. 

I will say, I giggled when I looked at our school district and realized that we are the ONLY people in the district to not object to one of the vaccines.  I actually was quite surprised that for the varcella vaccination only 2 children didn't have it and they were both mine.  Which, actually is now only 1 of my children because again, after doing research and knowing my child realized that it would actually be much worse for my son to get Chicken Pox than the vaccine (hopefully, I am right.).  Why?  Because there is no way with his texture issues he could handle things all over his body and itching and with his chemical issues and medicine problems, he could handle the anti-itch stuff or Tylenol or Motrin to keep his fever down.  So, we made a decision to give him the vaccination. 
I will say after seeing the stats though, I now totally understand why my children never got Chicken Pox!  Everyone has been vaccinated! 

Anyway, I don't have any right answers, I don't know what is right/wrong.  All I know is I am trying to make the best decisions I can for my children and to give them all the health advantages I can.  I just ask you do some research and think about and ask questions and know what you are putting in your child's body and why.

Here is the link:

http://kstp.com/article/11754/

For those of you in Minnesota you can read the article and find your school districts rates of objectors and what vaccines they are objecting too.  Just so you know, this is ONLY for the vaccinations that are required to start school and to have while in school.

Blessings to you all and those beautiful babies of yours!

-Liza

Be the best you can be.

(Our 5 year old off to her warm-ups for her first meet)

 Good Morning Everyone!

What a wonderful weekend we had over here at the Schwab house.  My 5 year old daughter had her first 'real' swim meet on Saturday and she did great!  She is in the U8 division so, she is swimming against 6 and 7 year olds!!  She is so little out there and she swims her heart out.  I cried every time I watched her race.  I cried for the simple reason of I was so happy for her and she is such an inspiration to people! 

Our 5 year old(who will be 6 in 10 days) is little, always has been.  She is getting bigger but, she was always a peanut and she was my baby for 4 1/2 years until we had our 4th baby, so I still consider her my baby.  She is our little engine that could.  Not being able to do something is NOT in her mind.  She goes out there in anything she does and tries and tries hard.  She actually listens to her coaches (my older 2 don't!!) and she takes what they say to her and uses it to make herself better at what ever sport or activity she might be doing at that moment.

She is nice, kind, self-less, and always willing to try almost anything.  She isn't a dare-devil but, she is willing to do most sports.  She plays soccer in the fall and spring, does dance(ballet and tap), gymnastics, swim team, and ice skating in the winter months.  She wants to try hockey (we just haven't let her yet) and karate and she is fascinated by Yoga.  She practices her sports daily!  Many times during the day you can see her practicing her handstands, practicing her swim strokes in the air making sure her hands are 'just right' and she taps around the house and practices everything her teachers or coaches as of her.

She is a delight to have for a child and I am so pleased that I get the opportunity to be her mom.  She is very excited to teach me how to ski this winter and I am excited for her to do it.  She is a very patient person when it comes to teaching them! 
OH, she does have her moments of frustration, usually aimed at her older brother and sister or mom and dad and she is so soft-hearted she often gets it broken.  Those are things we still need to work on with her to protect her but, the determination to not really win but, to be the best she can be at her particular sport at that time, is amazing.

I have watched her grow in every sport and activity she does and I am so thrilled.  She doesn't necessarily have the most athletic skills, she isn't athletically gifted but, because she listens to her coaches, she practices, and she is determined, she will be a great athlete as she grows. 

I could learn so much from that little girl!  For the same determination she has in sports and activities she also has in school and doing her homework.  She is very determined to finish her homework, do her best and she is very pleased with herself when she has done something well. 

My husband and I have often compared her to a Golden Retriever...no, we don't think our daughter is a dog!  But, if you know Golden's, they have this desire to please their owners, they just want to make them happy.  Our 5 year old is very similar.  She has a desire to make people happy, to please her coaches, and her reward for that is how she feels about her hard work and that is pretty awesome.

Oh and by the way!!!  I have to say, watching swim meets is WAY better than any other kids sport to watch!  It was fast paced, super exciting, you had no clue who anyone was, or for me, what they were doing but, it was entertaining and fun.  I watched a lot of races when I could(I was volunteering in the kitchen) and it was a thrill to see those children race and swim. 

If you ever get the opportunity to watch a swim meet I suggest doing it.  It really felt like it does when you are watching the Olympics, it is high energy and the swimmers are all cheering each other on, it was really cool.  I wish my older 2 were on the swim team too, it is really neat.

Anyway, the baby just woke up so I must go. 

Go out today, put your best into everything you do.  You don't have to be the best but, you have to do your best!!

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Diet? or Lifestyle change?

Good Evening Everyone!

Oh wow, it has been so long since I have written and I truly missed it!  Life just isn't getting any easier with 4 children!  Hahahahahahahahaha.  Yes, our lives are crazy however, I wouldn't change it, any of it for the world.
I love my children, I love being a stay at home mom and I love being a wife. 

My husband is busier than he has ever been at work, apparently when you own your own business, you are not only the owner but the secretary, the computer geek, the phone tech, and the delivery boy.  All of those roles my husband has been playing lately, in addition to his executive/trader role.  Sorry honey but, at least you are working for you and not someone else.  I promise it will pay off someday.

So, I need to give you all an update on our son.  I can't remember if I wrote about this or not but, he saw a DAN doctor a few weeks ago.  A DAN doctor is a Defeat Autism Now doctor.  They specialize in treating people on the Autism Spectrum.  As you all know our son has Asperger's Syndrome which is considered a high functioning form of Autism.

Well, after seeing the doctor we have radically changed his diet and wow, the results have been so amazing.  It has been almost 2 weeks since the diet change and everyone is noticing including our son and his classmates.  For the first time all school year he is sitting in class, listening and not bothering the other students.  I am so pleased with how well he is taking this new diet.  It isn't easy for him, it isn't easy for any of us but, it is worth it to see my son finally happy at school and actively participating in his class.

It is amazing how dependant our family had become on 'processed' foods over the years.  Now that I have to feed my son ONLY Organic, whole foods..nothing processed, nothing conventionally grown, no GMO's, no wheat, no dairy, no gluten, no casein, no sugar, no soy, no eggs and minimal amounts of meat.
So, pretty much he is to eat mostly vegetables and fruit with a small amount of meat and even smaller amounts of grains or simple carbs.

It is really eating a diet of the foods God created.  Nothing processed, nothing 'man-made' or machine made.  Just whole, organic foods.  Seems easy enough but, wow, it is really, really difficult but so worth it for my guy.  He is happier, he listens better, he is calmer, he flat out enjoys life so much more.  It is nice to see the my true son coming out again.

I want to challenge all of you to try cutting back or even cutting out some of the processed foods.  Even if they seem healthy.  Try only shopping the outside of the grocery store.  Try only buying organic, foods and only grass-fed beef and free range chicken.  Limit your proteins, they aren't as good as you might think.  Keep your diet simple yet, colorful.  Eat more legumes, beans, and such.  It is fun experimenting and trying new foods that we would have never tried without this diet.  I am trying new recipes and frankly, even though my son may not like some of the new foods, with 6 people in the family, I have yet to make a recipe that at least one person didn't like!  So, I take that as a mark in the win column.

Try it, just for a week.  We are doing our diet for our son for 6 months but, try eating a diet for one week without all the processed stuff and I promise, you will see a change not only in your children but, in yourself too.

Blessings to all of you and if you do try it for a week, or even a day...please let me know how it went for you, I would love to hear!

-Liza

Sick and Tired...

Good Afternoon Everyone!

I am writing a quick blog before I go and try to take a nap.  I haven't been in the mood to blog lately because we have been fighting sickness in our house for about 10 days so far and we are still fighting!

We had H1N1 in our house and man, it started out not too bad but, the ending has been a bit much for our family lately.  I was the last one to get it, but, I had been sick for 4 days before getting H1N1 with Strep throat that wasn't getting better with meds.  Last Thursday I got pig flu (sorry, not typing the 'official' word for it) after the rest of my family was better.  My husband went out of town for a long planned boys weekend and I was stuck at home sick, with pig flu and really unable to get a lot of help with the babies.

I did have help on Saturday for a few hours and my son spent the night at my parents Friday night but, it truly wasn't enough.  So, last night I was blessed to be able to wake up in the middle of the night and unable to stop coughing and couldn't catch my breath so, I drove myself to the hospital and found out it is now heading to my chest.  Yay.

So, I am officially on 4 prescriptions and Tylenol to boot.  I feel like poop and I am exhausted and my mind truly isn't on anything other than just making it through the day so I can go to bed tonight.  I have been like this for a week and a half now and frankly, I am sick and tired of being sick and tired!!!!

So, I am sorry I haven't been blogging lately I miss it but, just don't have the energy to try and think about anything but, just sitting around and trying to get better. 

I hope to be up and around soon and back to writing my blogs on a regular basis again. 

For now, please check out some of my older blogs again, and maybe you will find something you did see before. 

Blessings to you all!!!! 

-Liza

Here is a link to an old blog....until I am back on my feet, I will try and repost older blogs.....

http://outspokenmom.typepad.com/the_outspoken_mom_blog/2008/12/the-s-word.html.html

Health Care reform and H1N1.

Good Morning,

I am a bit frustrated and ornery so, watch out!  OK, that is my disclaimer for the day.  So much going on with the family lately.  First of all, we have H1N1 in the house.  It sucks.  It seems to be getting worse as it moves through the family leaving me very worried for our baby who has yet to get it.

My 5 year old daughter just woke up crying with a temp of over 104.  She tested negative yesterday morning for the pig flu (yes, that is what WE call it) and by the time dinner rolled around, her temp was spiking up to 103.  So, please be careful with your children and yourself.

Many doctors both friends and the doctors we have seen have said, if you see a temp before November, it is H1N1.  We were told yesterday at the doctor if she gets a temp, she has the virus.  So, if anyone in your family gets a temp, get in there and get tested and then, STAY THE F HOME!!!!  I am so sick of hearing of all these people who are too busy to stay at home when they are sick or running a fever.  My father just left on a business trip, which includes him flying on a plane to at least 2 different cities all while he is sick.  But, in this 'economy' he feels like he needs to continue doing business.  So, he is traveling.  Yep, and we wonder how this stuff gets around so fast.

I am not sure if I am for health care reform or not either.  Man, I am even more frustrated with that crap!  Our family has terrific coverage, and a low cost because we are on our state run insurance and as we are trying to find new health care for our family, I am growing more and more frustrated that there are NO policies out there that don't have deductibles that aren't obscene.  The lowest I could find is $3000 but, that is paying about $700 a month and then still having to pay out of pocket the first $3000!!  Holy cow.  I am very willing to pay more a month if they just cover everything from the start.  I don't want my worrying about money get behind whether I take my children or myself to the doctor or not.

I have many friends that do everything but take their children or themselves to the doctor.  I don't want to be like that, if my children are sick, I want to take them to the doctor.  I have 4 children and the faster I get them to the doctor, most times the faster we are all better and the less people in our family get sick if it is something like pig flu or strep or whatever.

I need to go, my over bearing husband who doesn't think I am capable of taking care of my sick children just got home.

Oh one more thing that makes me anti health care reform...last night found out Merck quit making the MMR vaccine in separate doses due to pressure from Congress.  Stop legislating MY life and my children's life.  If I choose to still vaccinate but, I would like the shots done one at a time instead of in mega doses, that should be MY choice no my governments. 

So, there you see, I am VERY torn on the health care reform.

The baby is awake now.  Please keep you and your children home if they are sick and anyone with any answers about health care reform, please let me know.

Oh...and I am fine with my husband...just a bit grumpy today.

Blessings to you all,

Liza

No robots allowed..update

Good Evening Everyone!

My baby is in bed and my husband took the other 3 to a water-park!  Oh, I feel like I can breathe!!!  I just have to clean up the kitchen before they get home but, I will take that any day to trying to entertain tired and fussy children at night.

So, today was school conference day at 2 of my children's schools and as always, just terrific news. hahahahahaha.  Just once, I would like to go to a school conference and not hear about how my children don't listen, they don't sit still and they don't follow the rules.  Hey, I get it OK?!  My children aren't rule followers, I don't really like it but, at the same time, I don't feel like they should be expected to sit all day long in a chair and just look up and listen.  I don't want that child!  I like that my children have fire in their belly's.  Oh granted, it would be nice if my children listened ONCE IN A WHILE and if they didn't choose to use mommy's bad words in class, and well, I guess it would be nice if I didn't have the child that throws stuff at the teacher when they get a problem wrong...OK!  So my children aren't the greatest in the classroom, lol. 

But, I don't think they are absolutely horrible either.  OK, well my son is pretty horrible sometimes and he is difficult...OH fine....my children SUCK in school. lol. 
Oh, where was I going with this?  OHHHHH!

So, my children aren't the easiest and I don't really know what would help them sometimes but, I do believe a lot of what our schools and school systems are trying to do is force our children into becoming robots.  We want and expect them to sit and be quiet, to not talk in the lunch room and if they throw food, they can't eat in the lunchroom anymore!  What ever happened to food fights?  I LOVED those!  Or what happened to sitting with your friends and yes, many times I sat alone but, oh those times I got to sit with a big group of people, that was awesome!  I remember school being fun.  I remember spending tons of time out on the playground and in the parking lot with NO playground ladies telling us we couldn't run.  We had 3 recesses a day at my elementary school.  One in the morning when we first got to school.  See, our buses didn't drop us off right before the bell rang, we got dropped off about 20 minutes before school started and played up until they told us to line up.  Oh, and we all ran as fast as we could to get our backpacks in line first when we got dropped off. 

Things were pretty fair, if you ran slow, you were always last...I liked that, I believe it made me the fast runner I am today.  We played games in the parking lot, did penny drops over the TAR parking lot, we stuck our tongues to cold metal poles and lived.  It was crazy scary!  Oh and get this, I even had to WALK to school across busy roads and a freeway!  What?!  Oh yes, I walked to school every year 6 blocks and nothing happened to me, no crazy person stole me or my friends, we played games all the way to and from school.  I was home alone starting in 2nd grade and made myself breakfast and dinner.  I woke up to the timer on the stove and never was late to school.

I don't remember having to sit inside on snowy or rainy days for recess either...we went outside rain or shine, I think that was the teachers break time!  Every girl knew how to do a cartwheel, back-bend, and how to hang upside down on the bars by 1st grade and everyone jumped rope for hours.  You were considered weird if you couldn't do a cartwheel by 1st grade.  We flipped, jumped, scampered, flipped some more, and hung upside down for what seemed to be hours every day. 

We didn't have to 'train' for our Presidential Physical Fitness awards because we did most of those things daily anyway.  I remember in gym class we played Red Rover Red Rover and tried our hardest to break through that line no matter how much we hurt the other person, it was GREAT!  Then there was dodge-ball, bombardment (how do you spell or say that?!), ships across the ocean, OH and we picked teams!  Yeah, that's right, 2 people were picked and we picked teams based on skill and yes, the weakest person was always picked last, get over it, none of us cared, it was life and we knew it.

We listened to our teachers, we followed the rules and wow, when an adult spoke, we listened!  We knew they were big and scary and weren't to be messed with.  Our parents and their friends and ALL adults were NOT our friends and we were OK with that, in fact, we preferred it that way. 

Our playgrounds were simple and metal....not plastic which, isn't plastic bad for the environment?  Yes, our playgrounds were 'Earth friendly' before we even knew what that was.  They were metal, not painted, not pretty, they were a bland gray but, they worked.  We had monkey bars, hanging bars, lines and lines of swings on super long chains that could help us to reach the sky!  We had merry go rounds, domes to climb, and super tall metal slides that burned your butt in the summer and made you go about 50 miles an hour in the winter in your snow pants.  I remember always packing snow onto the slides so you would go faster.  Everything was about speed, danger, and I never remember feeling afraid.  I wasn't, didn't know you could get hurt and if you did get hurt, oh well, you got a band-aid and got right back up to do it all over again.
I wasn't a dare devil by any means.  I was actually considered a scaredy cat by those older standards.  I didn't dare do a penny drop until 5th grade for goodness sake! 

 I remember by 6th grade I was playing basketball for the entire recess and get this...WITH my 6th grade teacher the whole time!  Yea, that is right, my teacher would eat lunch with us and then go out and play some b-ball with us on the playground!  How many of your children's teachers do that now a days?!!  I remember in junior high being teased profusely about my nasty red hair and gaingly legs.  I was often compared to a flamingo on the soccer field and hey oh well.  Yes, I have horrible memories of junior high but, really looking back, I had a lot of fun then too.  I was ugly back then!  Heck it was the 80's there weren't too many good looking people back there and by the way...for all of you trying to bring back 80's fashion...dig out the old jr high photos, you will put that flashdance sweatshirt and leggings with a super mini lace skirt back right away!

People often tell me I probably looked like Molly Ringwald with my short red hair, I laugh hardily and let them know that I looked like the OTHER red head from Sixteen Candles...yes, that is right, Anthony Michael Hall...yep, proud of being so stinking ugly!  Man, my scanner isn't hooked up...I need to find a photo to post for you all, it truly is a sight to see.  Ok, I am back couldn't find the truly horrible ones but, found one that will show you just a piece of the heinous puzzle of junior high

Yes, that is me on the right!  Oh and the person to my left that is actually a girl too..see, the 80's horrible!!!!

OK back to my rants and raves.  Point is, I am going to include an email my girlfriend sent to me to put this all into perspective...relax!!!!  We all survived so we might have broken a few arms (I never did) or a leg or two (again, not me) and so what if we have scars, that is what happens when you LIVE life!!  Let your children LIVE life, don't just let them be molded into something that is 'easy' or 'manageable'.  Don't teach your children to just exist..life is way to short for that.

Encourage your children to think for themselves, to problem solve and to think outside of the box.

Here is the email.....

 First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant.

They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can and didn't get tested for diabetes.

Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-base paints. (again...sorry, no belly's please!)

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, locks on doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had baseball caps not helmets on our heads.

As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, no booster seats, no seat belts, no air bags, bald tires and sometimes no brakes. (I don't condone this one as I was ALWAYS in a car seat)

Riding in the back of a pick- up truck on a warm day was always a special treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.  (Everyday in the summer!, still do!)

We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and no one actually died from this.

We ate cupcakes, white bread, real butter and bacon. We drank Kool-Aid made with real white sugar. And, we weren't overweight. WHY?

Because we were always outside playing...that's why!

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on.

No one was able to reach us all day. And, we were O.K. 

We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride them down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times,we learned to solve the problem.

 

We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's and X-boxes. There were no video games, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD's, no surround-sound or CD's, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet and no chat rooms. 
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! 

 

We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents.

 

We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and the worms did not live in us forever. 

(I TOTALLY did the eating worms thing!  In fact, we made worm cookies for a badge in Girl Scouts!!!)
We were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes.

We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just walked in and talked to them. 

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Imagine that!! 

The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of. They actually sided with the law! 

These generations have produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever.

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas..

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all. 

If YOU are one of them? CONGRATULATIONS! 

You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of our lives for our own good.

While you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave and lucky their parents were.

Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors, doesn't it ? (YES!)

 

So everyone!  Go out and make a mud pie, cook up some worm cookies, eat some grass, run through the sprinklers and for goodness sake, hang upside down once in a while!!!!

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Oh By The Way, I too wash my children's mouths out with soap occassionally if bad things come out of that mouth.  We have a bar of Ivory soap sitting in the hall closet for just that occassion.  Trust me, after even one time, they see that bar coming and they quickly change their potty mouth tune.  So, throw me in jail or throw the book at me in court but, I am trying my hardest to raise children that will respect adults and some day be hard-working, upstanding, well educated, adults that will contribute something to society other than a pain in the neck.

What am I talking about?  Here is the link :

http://www.nbcmiami.com/news/local-beat/Mom-Arrested-for-Washing-Kids-Mouth-With-Soap--64112132.html

Cave-man vs Metro-sexual man

Good Morning All,

I don't have much time to write again but, my husband showed me an article this morning that I knew I had to write about.

It was an article saying that research is starting to show that women being on the pill for over almost 50 years now is changing how women look at men.  What?  Yes, it seems that our covering up our natural instincts during menstruation is causing us to choose more feminine men over more rugged men.

All I have to say is, once again, something my husband had firmly believed and said for years is right.  My husband has always told me not to be on the pill and praise God I have listened to him!  Otherwise, I might not still be choosing that big lug after all these years.  I do agree with him that you can't mess with nature because for one, nature will always win and two, you mess with nature too much and there will be dire consequences.

I also have to laugh because as I look back at the boyfriends I had while on the pill, hahahahahaha, most were WAY more feminine than my hubby.  But, it is true and we have known this for years that women's scent changes when they are fertile and men are attracted to that scent.  So all of you single ladies that can't seem to find a 'good' man and all you keep finding are the 'nice' guys that are more friend material...GET OFF YOUR PILLS!  Frankly, you should be using condoms anyway if you are sleeping around with more than one man.

I will say, I think my husband and his wild caveman genes won out years ago when we were dating and he told me to get off the pill.  I really needed to anyway because my body wasn't doing well with them.  But, he knew, in his archaic way that he needed to 'smell' me and he couldn't 'smell' me if I was on the pill.  So do I go as far as to say not being on the pill is what got us married?  lol, no but, it might have helped?  Who knows.

I wish I could write more but, I need to go wake my people up and get going with my day.  OH I wish I could write more because I am not kidding, this is something that is talked about in our house between my hubby and I a lot!  He even talks about it a lot with his guys and it is crazy that there was an article about this on the Drudge Report today!!!!

Here is the link, read what started today's blog for yourselves....

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1218808/Contraceptive-pill-women-attracted-masculine-men--interested-boyish-looks.html

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

My perfect and unique Snowflake

Good Morning Everyone!

Wow, I have to say our fall is so much nicer than our summer was here in Minnesota!  I can't believe how utterly perfect the weather has been lately.  I think it is supposed to take a turn for the worse but, these past few weeks have been wonderful.

As many of you know, my son has Asperger's (on Autism Spectrum).  We have done most things by trial and error with him and by me doing lots of research, talking to parents, educators, etc.  We have done very little with our pediatrician because frankly, they just don't know much about it.  Our chiropractor knows a little but, again not too much.
We felt our 'window' had closed in really doing much more with him and that who he is, is who he is.  However, on our date night Monday night at a vitamin store, another couple overheard Steve and I talking and told us about some new vitamins, creams and such I had never tried and a new DAN (Defeat Autism Now) doctor/clinic that had just opened up and how growth spurts and especially puberty can really affect our son and his behavior.  Wow, I never knew!  So, we think our son might be in a growth spurt as he hasn't really had one in a while and is definitely due for one and with that and the stress of starting a new school, with new friends, new teachers, it is all just too much for him.

So, I started him on liquid vitamin B12 and vitamin D and even my husband has noticed a difference in our son since Tuesday when he started them both.  He is much calmer.  He still wanders a bit but, when we tell him he can't do something, he doesn't fly off the handle and I guess last night at his soccer game, he didn't get frustrated and had a great time and even passed the ball!  What?! 
Now, by no means do we think adding those two vitamins are the miracle cure for our son but, it is hopeful.  It might also be because this is the 3rd week of school and he is starting to settle into the new routines and starting to relax a bit.

It is so hard to know because there are so many variances and factors in raising a child with Asperger's.  It is so true that no two children with Asperger's are the same, they truly are like snowflakes all different and beautiful in their own way.  I love our son, I love how quirky he is and how smart that little guy is.  I am excited to see how he grows in life and to see what kind of a man he will be. 
With all of that though, it is hard to see my soft-hearted boy being a fist flailing, screaming, running away, disobedient, almost crazy boy.  That isn't my guy and that is when I know we are missing something or something is really stressing him out.

Now with him being on these new vitamins, which by the way, he is a champ at taking vitamins!  Some days he takes up to 15 and never once complains!  What a guy, he knows that he feels so much better on his vitamins and supplements than without them and he asks for them if I forget them.  So, we have new vitamins and yesterday I finally got him an appointment to see a DAN doctor!  I am very excited, I have no clue if she will be able to help our son but, I am hopeful.  Seth is so close to being 'normal' and I know we are just hovering near finding that key that will put him back together and back to a calm, loving, soft-hearted little guy that truly is fun to be around and has a heart of gold. 

The DAN doctor I talked to yesterday for almost 2 hours seems to be very optimistic about our guy because of how pro-active we have been in his treatments and she gave me the best compliment a mother of a child on the spectrum could ever here; she feels like us being so observant of his food issues when he was an infant, and choosing not to put him on any gas meds and instead work with my diet(since I was nursing) and with his diet once he started eating, she thinks we saved him from being full blown Autistic or being lower functioning.  Wow, I feel like I finally did something right. 

So, for those of you with children/infants, here is my advice to you, try to feed your children a diet of the least amount of processed foods as you can.  NEVER feed your infant or child Sodium Nitrate (found in bacon, luncheon meats, and other processed foods), if your infant has colic or spits up a lot pull ALL dairy out of their diet and if you are nursing, pull it out of your diet too.  Don't give your infant gas medications, they were created and designed for adults, NOT infants.  Try to do as much organic fruits and vegetables as you possibly can find and afford.

I am very nervous/excited to see the DAN doctor next month!  I don't know what she will find, if anything.  But, as I have discovered with our son and from other parents with children on the Spectrum, sometimes it is the littlest change that makes the biggest difference.  I don't know how much it will cost, I don't know if our insurance will pay for any of it even though they do accept insurance.  But, this is my boy, how can I let something as truly meaningless as money stand in the way of my son being the best he can be and achieving his highest potential in life?!  Granted, we do have our limit of how much we truly can spend since we will have to find the money and cut back in other places in our life to pay for it but, still, I think/hope it will be worth it all in the end.

Then, we have a call into a behavior specialist that works with only Autistic children and I am hoping getting him into behavior therapy will finally help him understand why he can't just take off for a 3 hour long bike ride without telling anyone.  Or why while his thinking was so nice, it just isn't right to bring all your money in a shoebox and walk 8 blocks to a pet shop to buy your little sister a bunny without telling anyone you left or asking if mom and dad would let your sister have a bunny.  Or when you are mad at mom because she won't let you eat cream cheese puffs, you can't just leave the restaurant and walk home by yourself even though you know the way home and we have often Roller-bladed back and forth from home to that restaurant. 

These are some of the things we have been dealing with lately with our son and while none of his actions are truly 'dangerous', he needs to understand he needs to tell mom and dad where is going and ask for permission.  He isn't understanding that right now and although when you ask him the rules, he will recite to you, "I have to ask permission to leave the yard", "I can't ride my bike without a helmet", "I can't buy anything without asking mom or dad first", you can look at his face and see he is only reciting the rules but, he isn't connecting with the rules and doesn't truly understand the rules.

It is hard to be a parent of a special needs child that 'looks' and 'acts' normal for the most part but, struggles with some basic parts of life.  He isn't like the little guy in a wheelchair, or who has down syndrome, or anything that people can see because it is physical.  Children on the Spectrum, look and act mostly normal unless they are truly Autistic and low functioning.  For the high functioning children, I think life is almost harder because we expect them to be able to fit in with the mainstream of life, school, etc.

I know my son can fit in, he actually does a really good job, we just need to constantly tweak him and keep working with him on the social basics and behavior basics.

Our guy is awesome and he is exactly the way God wanted him to be and I know he is the son God sent to me for a reason and I am thrilled and honored to raise this little guy.  So, I ask that you cover our son and our family in prayers and I also ask you pray for our DAN doctor and that we might find another piece of our son's Autism puzzle to put into place to make him more, 'whole'.

For those of you with a child on the Spectrum, don't EVER give up on your child or yourself!  Don't quit trying to find those missing puzzle pieces, they are out there somewhere and you will find them, I know you will!  Remember, your son or daughter is a snowflake, no two are alike and that is what makes them so special and perfect!

Blessings to you all!!!

-Liza

Igniting the firestorm of Healthcare

Good Morning Everyone!

I have a lot to say and not much time so, I am digging right in.  I am frustrated and frankly confused about all the talk of health care reform and what it really will mean for our country but, really, what it will mean for me and my family.

I don't get why we need it, our state of Minnesota has a terrific health care system and we also offer our own state run insurance for lower income families and people.  In fact, really, you don't even have to be low income as with our sized family, we can make upwards of $67,xxx + a year and still qualify for our state health care.  Which my family and I have been on now for almost 4 years.  It saved us when Steve didn't have a job and when we couldn't get our own health care.  We still pay premiums based on our family size and our income.  Premiums can range anywhere from $4 (per person) up to over $200 (a family). 

We have no co-pays for the children or pregnant women and adults are $3.  That is for doctors visits, prescriptions, and eye appts and dental.  It will also cover things like mental health, drug/alcohol treatment, and cancer treatments.  We are free to visit our regular doctors and dentists and we have a very large number of doctors and others to choose from.  We can even see specialists when needed.

I like MN Care, I like it alot, and I am bummed that we will no longer qualify after November 1st of this year and we will need to find our own insurance.  I don't get the whole deal with not being able to find good quality insurance.  I have always had insurance, yes, it is expensive sometimes but, at least here in Minnesota, I think we have such a high quality and quantity of doctors to choose from, it is worth it.  Can you really put a price on your health?  Plus, how much worse would it be if you didn't have any health insurance?

I understand that most of peoples bills are from medical and it is the number one reason people claim bankruptcy.  However, I don't believe that is because of doctors or lack of health care and I don't believe a nationalized health care system will fix that.  Yes, it might lower the cost some but, really, we will pay for it in other ways such as higher taxes, lower standards, and fewer choices.

I used to work for a medical insurance company and I can tell you a few things that make our costs for insurance and doctor visits so expensive....US!  We are a sue happy nation and we like to blame others for everything.  We tend to not take responsibility and we want others to take care of us and we don't want to have to think for ourselves.

The claims that used to come across my desk were sick and unbelievable!  People suing their doctors for malpractice because their baby died at birth yet, they had NEVER had ONE prenatal visit or check up and the baby had issues that could have been solved or taken care of prior to the birth but, by the birth it was too late...believe it or not, many of those cases the women won and won a lot of money.  I even saw a woman who had 2 different babies die at two different births and BOTH she was a drug user and never saw a doctor for any prenatal visits and she won both times.  Sick.

Granted those are extreme cases but, I also saw people who sued the doctor because they claimed things like, they didn't know they could be allergic to the latex in their breast implants(even though they knew they were allergic to latex and neglected to mention it to the plastic surgeon), or someone who sued because they didn't tell their doctor about the 2 other doctors they were seeing and the 3 other prescriptions they were taking and had a huge reaction to the new presciption and almost died.  Those are all cases where the patient was clearly in the wrong yet, they sued...and won.

It is getting harder and harder to find doctors who specialize in just birthing babies because the cost of malpractice insurance is so high, it isn't worth it to them to practice.  I knew a doctor who refused to take patients that were over the age of 35 and having their first child because of the known complications and he just didn't want to take on the risk of liability.

Then, you add in the insurance companies.  Wow, they are in the business of making money and they will sell, sell, sell their clients(doctors and clinics) on why they should only prescribe their meds for patients.  There are many clinics that won't even offer generics or cheaper meds. 

Or what about people that refuse to go to the doctor until they are on their deathbed and they could have been saved had they just gone in earlier?  These are all cases that drive up our costs of insurance and of health care.  The government has so many other issues they need to fix before you can try and fix this!  It is like this...a car gets into an accident and instead of repairing the engine damage and the flat tires and broken windshield, they first paint the the car to make it look better and prettier because that is what is most appealing to the eye.  It still doesn't work and won't work until you fix all the broken parts but, it sure is pretty!

I hear everyone talking about insuring the uninsured...well, has anyone taken into account the people that choose not to have insurance?  Yes, there are people out there that just don't feel like they need health or dental insurance!  I knew many single people that were in their 20's that saw no use for having insurance and didn't want to waste their money on it...not because they felt it was too expensive but, frankly, they wanted the extra money for going out on the weekends or vacations or clothes.  In fact, looking back, I had health insurance my entire life and in my 20's, I think I can count on 1 hand how many times I went to the doctor (until I got pregnant) and I could have saved myself or my parents a heck of a lot of money by NOT having insurance.  Yes, it is important to have health insurance like you have car or home owners insurance just in case of an emergency but, then get emergency only insurance or something..way cheaper!

Now, in an effort to do some research for this blog, I did try to find some information about the Nationalized health care plan on the web...frankly, it was very hard to find any specifics on the plan(which is a bit un-nerving to me, personally) but, what information I did find says they are hoping to 'Improve Preventable Care'.  Ok, so does that finally mean our government will recognize alternative care and homeopathic?  Does that mean that I will finally be able to visit my chiropractor more than 12 times a year?  Does that mean the my son who is on the Autism Spectrum and takes hundreds of dollars of supplements and vitamins a year that those will finally be covered?  So that means vitamins will finally be covered right?  If what I read is right and they are hoping to stop people from getting sick with nutrition information and education and exercise and teaching America to be healthy again then one could assume that means us taking vitamins will be able to add those to our medical spending accounts or deduct them on our taxes as a health care cost correct?

Or what about those of us who not only choose but, those of us who also don't choose to eat healthier.  Do people who eat organic, whole foods, workout and in general take care of themselves inside and out do we get the opportunity to have cheaper health care?  Do we get discounts on our foods and stuff?

Or what about families with children with food allergies and sensitivities, will our nationalized health care help us offset the cost of buying wheat-free/gluten-free or dairy-free/casein-free foods so our children can be healthy and not be in the doctors offices as much?

Will we stop medicating children in the classrooms and teach parents, educators and others about the benefits of nutrition and how certain foods can affect certain children?  Is that part of the nutrition package in this health care reform?

Now here are my questions and concerns and please, I welcome all feedback and answers as I really don't know much about the nationalized health care plan.

-Will they tell me which doctors to see?
-Will my children be 'tagged' throughout their lives by the system because of their health care issues
-Are you going to force me and my family to have health care?
-What if we choose to not have national care?
-Can doctors opt to not take patients on national care? (they can on MN Care, and I believe it should be a choice for doctors/clinics)
-If there is a malpractice suit..who are we suing, ourselves?
-If we are unhappy with our national insurance (company) can we complain to them and then again, are we complaining against ourselves?

I know how inefficient the government is with spending, can I really trust you to spend wisely with my health care dollars?  How can you assure me that there won't be any 'gifting' or under the table deals with certain doctors/clinics like there is now with certain politicians and governments?

Social Security is a joke, the IRS is a bigger joke, how are you going to make sure this is a strong and well run system?  Why can't the states decide what is best for their people and be allowed to create their own health care systems based on the needs of people in their state instead of the 'general population'?

Is Minnesota the only state that has health care?  How many states have their own state run health care option?

Frankly, one more thing...sorry but, as we in Minnesota await the President to visit here and talk about national health care, one Minnesotan has a lot of questions and wants a lot more answers first.  Why is no one else in Minnesota standing up and talking about our own health care and how wonderful our system is here in Minnesota?  If it isn't broke...don't fix it!

Oh...and I am sorry, but, I understand the frustration of that S.C. Republican who shouted out last night.  Yes, it was very wrong that he did that and that he called our President a liar but, I do understand the frustration...here is why.

The President was speaking about health care and illegal immigrants at the time, by the way, as many of you probably don't know...I believe we will give the illegal immigrants access to free health care as we already do in Minnesota.  Yep, EVERY immigrant whether legal or illegal gets FREE health care in Minnesota.  Why?  Because they are afraid they won't get immunized so, they just give them all free health care so they will go to the doctors and such.  Don't believe me?  Heard it straight from a good source....one of our local hospitals that has an ER filled with immigrants daily/nightly because they use it as a doctors office instead of an emergency room.  We were told(after asking) flat out that the State of Minnesota with NO Questions asked, hands out immigrants free MN Care to assure they get immunized and go to doctors. 

So, there is your answer as to why that Republican blurted out last night.  Frustrating yes, I don't agree with him but, do understand.  Now, please help me understand the health care bill/reform so I can make an informed, educated decision about it for myself and my family.

Blessings to you all and DO YOUR RESEARCH!

-Liza

UPDATE:  I just read a slideshow about the reform and I think it is very similar to what I have said, it will cost us more, it will drive out jobs in the private insurance sector(of which Minnesota has a LOT of jobs) and we will be at the mercy of a government run agency that really, in my mind, isn't very good at running companies!

Plus, everything I have read says it will FORCE people to carry health insurance, why?  If they don't want it, that is their issue please don't make it mine.  I will say I agree with the President on one part of the reform....NO pre-existing conditions. 

Just remember everyone, once this is voted in and put into place, it is there forever.  There is no going back so, make sure you know what you are getting into, don't just listen to the speeches, read the papers, or blogs.  Do research, know what your Senator is voting for and know what the President is pushing.  I don't know if it is right or wrong for our country, I really don't know but, I want to make sure I know as much as possible before it is all too late...either way.