The Outspoken Mom Blog

The American Girl Doll 'Dream'

I feel a blog coming on.....

Those are the words I just heard in my head as I am debating our newest, whatever, on Facebook.  Good Afternoon Everyone!  I hope this finds you all well.

So, what was I debating on Facebook just now?  American Girl Dolls.  So, we have escaped the hype of those overpriced dolls for a long time but, eventually, we knew it would probably find us.  Well, about a month before our oldest daughter turned 7 she started talking about how she wanted an American Girl doll.  We didn't even know she knew about them but, apparently one of her friends has one and she liked it.

About 2 weeks ago my mother in law took our daughter as a birthday surprise, to the American Girl Store at the Mall of America to get her a doll and some clothes and whatever else there is there.  I have never been in the store or really knew a lot about these dolls but, my mother in law was great and went to the store to do some 'research' and figure out how the whole deal went.

It was wonderful!  My daughter had the time of her life!  She got to pick out a doll, get a pet for the doll, get some clothes, a hairbrush, and whatever else.  Then, her and Grandma and the doll got to have dinner at the Bistro there and her doll even got her own food and her own chair.  It was quite cute hearing the story and seeing the photos.  My mother in law had a great time and my daughter had a great time.  My mother in law also dropped a small fortune on the entire event but, she was more than happy to do it.

So, we now have this very expensive doll with her very expensive accessories and pet.  She doesn't really do anything and we only have one so, it is hard for my girls to play with her but, my 7 year old daughter loves her and that is all that matters I guess.  That is until today.

My husband sends me a text that says, "Gwen Charlie's American Girl doll is the first homeless doll ever!.....f***ing a"

So I call him back and I ask him what he is talking about.  Turns out our local paper had an article in the paper about how this American Girl doll is the very first doll EVER to be homeless.  Ok.  What?!  I thought American Girl dolls were to let our daughter's sort of live a fantasy of living in Colonial times, Revolution times, the 70's, and current.  I thought they had positive messages for our daughter's and were sort of sold as a 'doll they could look up to' type deal.  Yes, I know they are fiction but, I thought they were sold as more of a positive message and truly about living the American Dream type thing.  You know, the normal BS that goes with marketing super expensive toys.

I had no clue that a doll that has a father that left the mother, a mother who lost her job and lost their home and now lives in a car was considered the "American Dream".  Truly, I don't know much about these dolls but, that is NOT a message I want to send to my daughter that 'hey, you too can pretend to be homeless and living in your car if you just fork over $100 + to imagine it with this doll'.

First and foremost, let me all tell you, only by the Grace of God and our families were we not homeless at one point in our marriage and because of that we have been drawn to working with, feeding, and plain loving on homeless families and families and children in financial hardships.  It truly is where we feel led by God.   But, that is OUR choice, it is our decision and we choose to teach that to our children hands on NOT through a very expensive doll that frankly I feel we can barely afford let alone any family or child that might actually find comfort in having one that is 'just like them'!

I don't think my daughter needs to learn from a doll the life lessons of homelessness and a father abandoning his family and his responsibilities. 
Is there an American Girl doll that has a father that loves his wife and his children unconditionally, that works his butt off to provide for his family and the mom stays at home to raise the children?  If you read that last statement and say to yourself, 'but that isn't real life' well, shouldn't it be and truly, shouldn't that be something to aspire to pretend instead of living in a car?  My children can't possibly relate to that even though they eat, play, and pray with many homeless children through out the year, they still don't get it.  They just like the children and like to play with them and know they just need some friends and a little bit of help.  At ages 8, 7, 5, and 16 months...I think that is all they need to know right now.  They just know that we make food for some families and hang out with them and guide them a bit, they have no concept nor should they quite yet about this.  Besides, it is Steve and MY job to educate our children on homelessness in a way WE feel is best for our family.  I don't need some HUGE mega toy company to tell my children about it. 

Now...if American Girl is giving proceeds of their Gwen doll to charities that help homeless children and families, that is quite another story however, I have been unable to find any information saying they are doing that.  So, they are trying to teach MY child a lesson but, not themselves.

You know what, I am sick of being so politically correct it makes me sick!  I am sick of public schools so worried about the 'little' kids or whatever so, they have to protect everyone and treat them all the same, I am sick of children not being able to be children I am sick of my children being taught it is OK to be different as long as we are all the same.  Yes that is the message here people.  As long as everyone is treated the same, it is OK HOWEVER, embrace your differences.  What?!  It truly makes no sense.

I have a lot of very liberal friends and I too used to be a very liberal, bleeding heart.  I know that all of you just want things to be equal but, that isn't how it works.  It will never be equal.  In order for everything to be equal are YOU willing to give up things?  Are you willing to give up your big house, your nice new car, your fancy clothes, your bonuses at work, are you willing to give more to others out of your own pocket and your own time to make someone else's life more equal to yours?  Truly, that is what it will take to make everything equal and truly, most of you reading this blog live in nicer homes, drive nicer cars, and have bigger diamonds than my family and I feel like we are extremely blessed.  Are you willing to give up those things to live in a $200,000 or less house, drive used cars, and live among the true 'American Dream'?  Are you willing to move from your cozy home in a safe neighborhood and live in inner city Minneapolis (or where ever you live) and live among your 'peers'?  Are you willing to sacrifice quality education, good schools, and a safe community so that things can be more 'equal'? 

Truly, how many of us could really dig the ditches, walk in the trenches and live among the very ones we feel like deserve more?

I get this world is horribly unfair, however, I don't think it will get better by selling my daughter a $100 doll that is supposed to 'teach' her about the 'real America'.    I can't wait to see if American Girl doll comes out with a doll that has drug user parents, or how about the dad that beats the mom and the children, or I know, can't wait to buy my daughter the doll that gets involved in sex trafficking overseas.  YES, that is the doll for my family for sure!   Oh the life lessons I could teach my daughters:-)

So, yes, I am a bit miffed at American Girl and Mattel about this as you can tell.  I don't know if we will get her a different doll (someone she can look up to) or if we just won't tell her about this one's 'secret life'.  But for $100 or more, I feel like I should be able to trust a company that my daughter is getting something fun, enjoyable and frankly, a little bit un-American.

Here is the link to the article that started it all:

http://www.startribune.com/lifestyle/62405777.html?elr=KArksUUUoDEy3LGDiO7aiU

Blessings to you all and as always, I welcome any and all feedback :-)

Here is a link to a CNN discussion about it.  I think American Girl and Mattel only giving $120,000 since 2006 is a joke!  These dolls cost $95 a pop.

<script src="http://i.cdn.turner.com/cnn/.element/js/2.0/video/evp/module.js?loc=dom&vid=/video/us/2009/10/05/nr.baldwin.homeless.doll.cnn" type="text/javascript"></script><noscript>Embedded video from <a href="http://www.cnn.com/video">CNN Video</a></noscript>

-Liza

Fundraising and just plain Fun.

Good Afternoon Everyone!

Wow, I don't know if it is the weather or what but, today is a great day!  The weather is still a bit cool but, the sun is out and in Minnesota, that is such a great thing.

Yesterday was my husbands 39th birthday.  Ok, I remember when my mom was 39, I thought she was SOOOO old.  Seriously, she was clueless about anything in my life, she was dumb, she had NO taste in clothes, and she was old-fashioned.  Oh, did I tell you my mom was 39 when I was 17?  LOL.  So, that might make up for some of the things I thought about her being 39. 

But, looking back, 39 used to be pretty old.  Seriously.  Most people that were 39 when I was growing up were almost done with raising their children.  Very few 39 year olds had babies and well, they just seemed like 'moms and dads'.   Now, many people are starting families at 39.  It is actually unusual now to have children in high school at age 39.  My how things have changed!

Now, granted, I am still MUCH younger than my husband so, I have a long, long, long time until I am 39 :-)  Just the other day my 6 year old asked me how old daddy was going to be and when I told her she just said, 'wow'.  Then, she said to me, "But, you are only 20 right?"  Of course, I agreed with her.  She doesn't need to know that mommy had her when I was 14 or her brother when I was 12 :-)  Gotta love children don't you?!

So, last night Steve and I went to the Young Life / World Vision auction.  It was so much fun to be with good friends for a good cause.  We had a great time.  My husband ran into his best friend from growing up and it made his entire day.  It was really fun to see him run into her as they rarely get to see each other anymore.  But, he was having a really icky birthday and when she came up to say hi his whole face lit up and everything was all better.

We had a great time and hopefully they raised some good money for the causes.

I am writing the rest of this much later in the day as things got a bit busy around here!  Tonight was our son's Fun Fest at school and we sure did have fun!  Our son had the opportunity to dunk one of his teachers and he thought that was SO cool.  I would say, yes that was VERY cool and pun intended here because it is windy and cool here in Minnesota tonight and the dunk tank water was filled with a hose from the outside.  I am telling you major hypothermia had to be setting in on those teachers!  Again, all for a good cause.

The children had a blast winning 2 liters of pop and then telling me they aren't sharing ANY of it with ANYONE.  Yea, ok.  We are hoping we won one of the classroom baskets they had in the raffles.  Those were really cool and way too much fun. 

A lot of fund-raising and fun this weeks end.  What a great way to start the weekend.

Blessings to you all and have a great weekend!

-Liza

Tea Party

Good Morning Everyone!

Isn't life great?!!!!  The sun is shining, blue skies and it is going to be 68 glorious degrees here today in Minnesota!!!!  YES!

So, my life is very good and my outlook is a very happy one today.  I am WAY behind in my wife duties, my motherhood duties and my household manager duties but, the sun is shining and it is going to be warm today.

So, today is Tax Day!  Are you all ready for it?  We are not.  lol.  My husband did file for an extension though so, phew, we are covered, for now.  Actually, it is a business thing as he is a new owner and we haven't gotten everything quite figured out tax wise going from dead broke to a business owner and actually making some money.  This is all new to us so, we actually hired someone to help us.

As a now bigger taxpayer than ever before because my husband owns a business we are getting hit with more than ever before.  So, I am becoming very aware of and very interested in what our city, state, and federal governments are doing with our tax money.

It is very disheartening to me how much they want to tax us and how little it will really benefit anyone.  So, I am suggesting anyone who is also sick of this and worried about their financial future to attend one of your local Tea Parties.  There is AT LEAST one Tea Party in each state however, with over 400 of them planned for today, it is a pretty safe bet you can find one close to you.

I urge you however, to know what you are protesting against, to be peaceful, but, LOUD.  To be courteous and calm.  You will never get your point across if you cause problems, destroy property, or cause any damage.  Use your voice, do everything legally and you will get more done.

We can change our governments, we just need to stand up and protect ourselves and to protest the things that can harm our very freedom and Democracy.

I will tell you the two taxes I am MOST against and most in fear of the government passing.  They have not passed yet but our current government wants them to.

Number one is a 90% tax on EVERYTHING you make over $200,000 a year.  What?  This means, not only are you getting taxed at a very high 30-45% on your first $200,000 but then, anything you make over $200,000 will be taxed at a whopping 90%!  That is insane and highway robbery! 

Now, we are NOT even close to making that kind of money but, being in the business my husband is in we know a lot of people who do and I am telling you all right now, it will be detrimental to our society as we know it.  It will cause a lot of  money to go underground, it will dry up local giving, dry up community giving and state giving. 

It will cause our top 10% of earners to halt all extra giving they do.  It will also, I believe, cause companies to start putting salary caps on their employees.  Now, for many of you that sounds like a good thing, not so much.  It doesn't mean those people will be 'making' any less a year, they will just be getting their money in different ways.  What does that mean? 

Well, for instance, I believe, it will bring back the car allowance, the housing allowance, company trips, company funded outings, company gifts, etc.  These companies and employees will find ways around this 90% tax.  Now, yes, some of it will be a good thing because many of these companies will start putting money back into the dying or already dead business incentive industry and it will look like the 80's and 90's again with business travel and incentive trips. 

But, it is a very bad thing for our overall economy.  It will really hurt the middle of the road businesses and workers who may make $250,000 or 300,000 a year however, really aren't living the high life and are yes, living a VERY comfortable life but, you put what is left of middle class America in peril.

Second tax I am very concerned about is lowering the charitable giving tax deductions from 10% (many times more) to only 4%.  That is insane!  With that our federal government will crush and hurt the local economies.  Let people give where they see fit, in their own communities and churches. 

I don't want all of my tax money going to the government so that they can decide who gets it.  I would like it to stay in my city, in my neighborhood, in my community so that it helps people at a local level.

I don't believe our federal government knows more than our local governments or communities where the need is needed most.

In my heart I know that if the federal government was in charge of passing out the giving and the money to local communities when Steve was unemployed, we would have lost our home, we would have gone hungry, and we would have had a much harder time finding the community help that made those 4 years bearable.

Besides, wasn't income tax supposed to be a temporary thing?  I believe it was originally to support war of 1812 and then again WWI.  I feel we are starting to get taxed to death. 

Please support your local communities and get out there and stand up for yourself and your family!

Get out there and Tea Party it up people

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

Day 1 of my 12 week Schwab Challenge

Good Morning Everyone!

Well, today was back to school for my people after spring break.  It was nice having them home but, really nice having them gone too.

Plus, they are still at the ages that they love school and want to see all of their friends so, they were ready to go back to school too.

So, it was a week ago tonight that our dog died, I can't help but think that this time last Monday, I still had my dog and had no clue he had cancer and life was good.  So, just one more hurdle for me to jump to get used to not having my big red boy around anymore.

So, this past week has been pretty eventful.  My husband finished his Master Cleanse.  He lost a total of 24 pounds in 10 days and on Saturday, he took the coffee pot that has sat on my counter for 7 1/2 years down and put it in the storage room in the basement!  WOW, ok, one addiction down and gone but, still working on the 2nd one and the big one....smoking.  Hey is still struggling with it as I just found out yesterday, he smoked during his cleanse.  What?!  So, let me get this straight, you spend 10 days only drinking purified water(because tap water has too many toxins in it), organic lemon juice(again because of toxins), organic grade B pure maple syrup, organic cayenne pepper, and only decaf tea and wheat grass shots but, you still smoke!

Hmmm, sure.  So you spend all that time ridding your body of toxins and yet you are smoking something that has by far the most amounts of toxins in it of anything with maybe the exception of Meth.  I don't get it, I never will get it but, it is dumb.  So, apparently the struggle to quit smoking is still there.  Personally, I don't think he tries very hard to quit.

Anyway, on Saturday I got to treat myself to a REAL haircut for the first time in over 4 years!!!!!  Yes, oh yes, I went to a salon instead of Great Clips :-)  Talk about a treat.  It felt so good to get my hair washed, my scalp massaged, my hair cut, and then blown-dry and styled!  Wow was I fancy!  I even, wait for it, bought some hair product!  Oh yes, I haven't owned hair product of any kind in quite some time so, I really splurged.  I had been planning on donating my hair again to Locks of Love but, decided a couple weeks ago that I had done my fair share of giving to them as I have done it 2 or 3 times in the past.  This time, I was going to be a bit selfish and not go from super long hair to super short hair.

I wanted a good hair cut and style and keep some of my length.  So, I cut off 8 inches and it feels great.  Sort of freeing actually and no guilt about not donating it.(Which I thought for sure I would feel.)

Then, Saturday night I went to a fundraiser for a girl friend of mine that is raising money for a marathon(check out her blog listed under other blogs...'Malee's Blog' is the one).  It was a fun night out.  I went WAY out of my bubble but, I survived :-)

Then yesterday our family had the opportunity to help out at church and eat dinner with Families Moving Forward.  It is an outreach program that helps families that are currently homeless by giving them a place to stay for a week or two and fresh home cooked meals nightly.  They also help them look for and find jobs during the day a safe place to sleep at night with their family.

It is something we have done together now for 3 years as a family and we love it.  For, it really is only by the Grace of God that we are not or have not been in that program ourselves.  Plus, we love meeting the families and the children and our children love being there too.

If you live in the Twin Cities, I suggest you see if your church participates in this program or if they are willing to start.  Our church hosts families 4 times a year and it really is a blessing for all involved on both sides.

Today was also Day 1 of my 12 week transformation back to the old yet new Liza.  It felt great to get to the gym, lift my weights and get out of there.  Steve went first this morning at 5am and when he came home I went and worked out.  He is going to get me up 3 mornings a week to go lift weights and then 3 other mornings I will do cardio at home on the Wii or by taking the baby out for a power walk.

I am excited to get myself back into shape and to hopefully finally be back in a normal size for myself.  I would like to drop about 30 pounds but, really the weight isn't as important to me as the shape and size of my body.

Today was upper body and it felt good to lift weights again!  It was hard as I haven't lifted in a while and frankly, I have always been really weak in the upper body.  It sucks how small of weights I have to lift but, I did it!  Wednesday will be lower body and I think that will be a shocker for me too.  Plus, I will probably be pretty sore for soccer but, all good.

So, here is a little bit of my plan that I am doing and it is for sure for 12 weeks but, obviously I am hoping this becomes a lifelong plan.

So, MWF I lift weights and it rotates between upper body and lower body so they get equal time.  TTHSa I do cardio for 20 minutes.  Yep, you heard me, only 20 minutes.  However, it is not just a 20 minute walk or run.  You have to hit different intensity levels during that 20 minutes which is good for me because I tend to focus too much on the over all time and not the run or the walk.

Also, key thing to getting the most of the workouts is doing it right away in the morning or as soon as you can in the day.  Plus, drinking lots of water and making sure you are making good food choices.

I am not limited on my foods either as 1 day a week is a 'free day'.  And it truly is a free day from exercise and watching your food.  You can eat, drink whatever you want on that day and as much as you want so you aren't truly depriving yourself of the foods you love or crave.

If you like pizza, just save it for your free day.  If you LOVE McDonald's Big Mac's wait until your free day.  So, you are watching what you eat and drink 6 out of 7 days but, that 7th day is your free day to do what you please.

It is great way to keep some balance in your life and to get yourself in shape and lose weight without boring yourself silly, getting burned out from excessive, unrealistic workouts or starving yourself.

The program I am following truly is something you could do for the rest of your life and it would be easy and satisfying.  You don't even need a club membership to do it.

So, day 1:  Upper Body weights done.  I have had my first of 6meals so far.  I ate a bowl of corn chex cereal with fresh cut strawberries and soy milk.  My next meal (which it is almost time for) will be Blueberry Soy yogurt.(Remember, we can't eat wheat or dairy in our house.)  For lunch I am sort of cheating a bit as I am not supposed to eat white rice(no good stuff in it and WAY more carbs, sugars and calories) but, I really like those Lean Cuisine rice bowls and it helps me with my portion control to have my lunch be a packaged up meal like that.  Otherwise, my portion control tends to be WAY out of line and I can talk myself into eating triple the portion I should be. 

Then, my 4th meal of the day will either something like a V-8(I love those!...low sodium though!!!) or a PB&J sandwich(brown rice bread and natural peanut butter and Polaner's fruit spread..no added sugar) and my 5th meal will be Broiled Salmon and veggies(no butter) and some fruit. 

The 6th and final meal of the day I haven't figured out yet but, it will be a light snack between dinner and bedtime.

I am still eating a good amount of calories and fat a day so my body and my brain are not starving.  Also, it is very important that you eat only lean meats and keep the portion sizes no bigger than your fist.  Plus, eat at least 3-4 servings of veggies a day.  Well, I don't struggle with that as I am a veggie lover!  You need to have protein in at least 2 of your meals and make sure you are eating every 2-3 hours so you don't feel like you are ever starving.

Keeping yourself from getting to that "I am starving" mode is key in changing your lifestyle or dieting.  If you think you are starving, you won't succeed.

I am very excited to see where this new plan takes me.  I know it will be great for me to keep track of my daily exercise and to keep a food journal.  It will be hard but, I can do it.

I need to do it, I have 4 children that rely on me and I need to be a good and healthy example for them.

So, keep praying for me and if any of you are interested in joining me on this path to a new life, let me know and I will give you the information on my 12 week plan.

Blessings to you all!

-Liza

The love of a Golden Retriever.

Good Morning Everyone,

Well, I am just floored at how upset I still am about our dog dying on Monday night.  It is hitting me a lot harder than I ever imagined it would.  It is crazy to me.

I mean, I did love the dog and I was around him the most because I am home the most but, who knew?  I mean, I am seriously unable to function through parts of my day!  Every time I am alone, I weep...hard!

Griffey was the first dog I had ever had in my life, I have lost cats and with each cat it actually seemed to get easier so, I thought it was just me getting older and being able to deal with death better.  Not the case here.  I have been crying constantly, my mind rarely wanders from my dog, and I find myself saying, "I just want my dog back" or "Sorry, Griffey." many times through out the day.

Come on!  It is a DOG for heaven's sake.  Really?!  Yes, really.  I really, really miss my dog.  I want my dog back.  I don't want another dog, I want MY dog.  He was perfect for me and my family.  He never asked for anything, seriously anything!  I mean, poor guy would sometimes go a couple days without food and we would realize it, go and buy him some food and pour it in his bowl and he would joyfully come over and eat.  He never asked for food, never asked to go out except by getting up and looking at us.  That was it.  He never scratched at the door(unless he was outside in a thunderstorm!) and he never begged.

He didn't get on furniture, he never tried to lick me or the children and he never smelled any crotches(which by the way, is the grossest thing to me in the world that dogs do).   The children were able to pull back his lips and look at his teeth, they even at times would stick their hands and arms in his open mouth and he never/ever moved or clamped down.  He put up with them riding him like a horse.  He put up with us rarely brushing or grooming him but, when we did brush or groom him, he was so good and so happy and would let us do anything to him.

When we was wet and muddy he would sit by the back door, raise his first paw, then after I was done wiping that he would raise his other paw.  I just assumed all dogs did these things.  We rarely walked him and he never complained, we didn't have to play hours of fetch with him because frankly, he would fetch something twice and was done...unless it was a frisbee....he did like frisbees!

His favorite thing was the snow, he loved the snow, I have never seen a dog so crazy about snow, he would go outside to go potty and 5 minutes later would come back in completely covered in snow.  Crazy dog.  He would even sled down the hills after the children and chase them on their sleds.

Seriously, I thought he was such a dumb dog!  I lovingly called him D O double Dumb ass.  I couldn't believe how easy going he was.  Had not a clue.  I just figured other people had even dumber dogs and/or they didn't know how to train a dog. 

I now realize how smart he was, and how truly perfect he was for our family and for me.  I also realize how much he did just to please us.  Ok, cats don't do that!

So, now as I thought I would never dedicate an entire blog to a dog!  I just have.  Now I want to bring you all a little awareness of how we got Griffey.

We got Griffey when he was 3 almost 4 years old.  He had come from a family however, he had gotten too big and they just chained him up outside in a kennel and left him by himself.  They fed him corn and he got no love.  They were going to shoot him when someone told them about RAGOM. 

RAGOM stands for Retrievers Are Golden of Minnesota.  It is a great volunteer group that saves as many Goldens as they can and sometimes other breeds too.  Last summer when that HUGE puppy mill got closed down in the Dakotas, they took in most of the puppies and dogs from there as it was a Golden mill.

They mostly have only adult dogs as the only time they get puppies is from a puppy mill closing down.  They have so many loving dogs and you can read about the dogs on their website.

RAGOM always needs volunteers.  They need foster care families/homes to help foster the dogs until they get their forever home.  Foster care homes help re-introduce the dogs to families, or other dogs.  They watch the dogs and have them live in their homes just like other dogs.  They teach them to walk on a leash, potty train them, help them by getting them groomed and get their shots up to date and in worst case scenarios, they help the dog to heal or give hospice care.

They are short of Foster Care homes right now.  They have 7 dogs that are needing to be surrendered for various reasons and can't take them in right now because they don't have enough boarding places and/or foster care homes.  Please consider becoming a foster care 'parent' for these beautiful animals.

If you can't become a foster care home, please consider giving money to RAGOM as that is always needed to help buy food, pay for shots, micro-chipping, neutering and other things.   They also sometimes need people to go and help them pick up newly surrendered animals.

I would encourage all of you living in Minnesota, Dakota's and Iowa to visit their website at www.RAGOM.org and see what their current needs are and if there is any way you can help.

I would also encourage you to consider adopting one of their pets available for adoption.  If you don't live in Minnesota, Dakota's or Iowa, I strongly encourage you to find a similar rescue place near you to donate your time or money to or to consider adopting from them instead of a breeder or pet shop.

I will tell you most of their dogs are pure-bred Golden's with papers...Griffey was.  Especially now with hard times and families losing homes, jobs, and sometimes marriages, it seems like the pets are often the ones tossed to the side first.

Steve and I have decided already when it comes time for us to find another dog for our family it will be coming from RAGOM.  I truly believe they do amazing work.  Even if you aren't interested in a dog...visit their website anyway and you can read about our Griffey.

Again their website is www.RAGOM.org  if you are looking for Griffey's story, on the right side click on 'happy endings' and once there click on 'rainbow bridge memorials'.  Griffey is the first dog listed.

Please read through their website and see what their needs are and I know they are always looking for financial donations :-)

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Log in MY eye.

Good Afternoon Everyone!

What a great day it has been the past couple of days here in Minnesota!  The calm before the storm.  We have had a great weekend and my children are on spring break this whole week.  I have nothing planned but, sometimes that is more fun.

A quick update on my husband's cleanse...he is on day 8.  He has lost OVER 20 pounds and he still doesn't have a ton of energy but, he feels better if that makes any sense.  It has been hard for him to watch everyone else eat and to make some meals for the children however, I am so pleased with him that he is doing this and not giving up.  Only 2 more days for him!

I am still trying to eat more often and smaller meals and I am doing really well....until about 8pm.  Then I gorge!  It is really bad.  I think some of it has to do with I am really a late night snacker and also that is when Steve has been heading off to bed or someplace else and I have been trying not to eat around him all day and then at night, I feast.  So bad, I know.  I am working on it.

So, this morning at church, I was so moved by today's sermon that I felt I needed to make a blog out of it and other things I have been learning about in my Bible Study.  I feel truly convicted by what was said today and what I have been reading in the Bible.  I often find myself saying in my head things like, "oh, that would be so helpful for so and so...oh I wish my mom could hear this....oh my children need to hear this..."  LOG IN MY EYE!  These people don't need to hear it, I do!!!! 

I know it is hard for all of you who know me to believe this but, I am NOT perfect.  Yep, I will say it again, I am NOT perfect!  I am so many logs in my eyes sometimes I wonder how I can see at all.

So, today's sermon obviously was about the Sermon on the Mount.  I have heard it before but, for some reason today, it just hit me in a different way.  It hit me in so many ways.

It blends in so well with what I am studying in Galatians too...wow, it is almost like it is all from the same author...lol.  So, we have been learning about Grace and about rules in church.  Sometimes we let the 'rules' get in the way of Grace.  There are so many rules sometimes in churches.  Have any of you ever noticed this?

Some were said today by our Pastor and some are rules I have lived by and others are ones I just know.

Some church rules:

-no dancing    

-no meat   

 -just confess and you are saved no matter how you live your life or what is in your heart

-no drinking of alcohol

-no impure meat

-nothing that isn't Kosher

-there is more than one God

-people can be Saints

-only certain people can take communion

-must Baptize babies

-follow holy sacraments

Oh the list could go on and on!  First of all, what I have read and heard over and over again in Galatians and in my studies is, if it isn't in the Bible, if God didn't say it directly, it is man's law not God's and it takes us away from God not brings us closer to him.

Being raised Catholic, I followed a lot of 'rules' growing up.  Yet, I now understand why I never understood the rules and why it didn't seem right to me.  I mean, you can't get divorced(which IS in the Bible) if you are Catholic however, my parents were divorced and so were my grandparents.  You aren't supposed to use birth control however, my mom was on the pill and I was too and that was 'ok' for some reason.  You can't have sex before marriage yet...back to the pill thing and my mom lived with my step-father for 3 years before they got married.  (I do say, I agree with the no sex before marriage...as it is in the Bible, I just didn't understand the hypocracy of it in my own home).

You cannot receive holy communion unless you are Baptized and on that note, we were told if you weren't Baptized, you wouldn't go to heaven.  You can't get married in a Catholic church if you aren't Catholic.  You MUST go to confession, then when you are done confessing to a mere mortal(the Priest) he tells you how to 'save yourself' by how many hail Mary's and Our Father's you must say on your Rosary. 

These are not all God's rules, many of these are rules put into place by man.  They are sometimes impossible rules to abide by.

Now the other part of today's sermon was, God does not have political agendas.  God does not promise us health and wealth if we 'just do this or that'.  It says in Matthew 7:13-27 to ask, seek, knock...ask and it will be given to you, seek and you shall find it, knock and the door will open. 

Another part that really hit me was, the path and the door that is the widest often leads to destruction...many will enter it.  The small path/gate leads to life and only a few will find it.  I agree so much with this!  How easy is it to just follow the crowd.  It is hard to stand by my convictions.  Sometimes it just seems so much easier to follow the path of the fallen world.  It is easier to look away from those in need, brush aside that lost child, brush aside my husband who needs me, not study my Bible for I would much rather catch up on my emails and gossip on the Internet!

Oh, the LOG in my eye.

Or what our children learned about today, do not build your home on a weak foundation.  It sounds simple enough, the man who builds his home on rock instead of sand has the stronger foundation.  Same thing with our lives.  We are only as good as the teacher we choose.  Hearing and studying the word is NOT the same as putting the word into practice.

I have all the tools to be everything God wants me to be however, I rarely put them to use.  I am often quick to judge and slow to forgive.  A big question I found in my study Bible..."Are you more likely to trust until proven wrong or distrust until a person proves himself?"  Oh wow.  Wow.

Matthew 7: 1-7 really hits home with me.  "Do not judge, or you too will be judged.  For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."  "Why do you look at the speck of dust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank (log) in your own eye? ....you hypocrite....(ok, that word got me huge...you hypocrite, yes, yes I am)...first take the plank (log) out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

Wow, how many times do I find myself judging others or criticizing others actions?  How many times do I judge people on their personal appearance or look down upon those that may not seem to live up to MY standards?   

How often do I take the time to find out who these people are in God's eyes? 

Another good things I have heard to go with all of this...relates to gossip and judging others.  Is what I am saying blessing this person or distressing this person?  Am I helping them with my words or hurting them with my words?   Same with my actions, am I Blessing or Impressing?

OH....wow, let me say that last sentence again...when I am speaking God's words, or doing God's work, am I doing it to Bless or Impress?

I am so far from perfect, I am still a large work in progress, I am still learning, I am still growing.  I hope I never stop learning, growing, and become perfect....for then I know, I am not living my life according to God's word.

Blessings to you all,

-Liza

Our story and ways to not repeat it.

Good Evening everyone!

So, I have been thinking of more money saving tips I could give to all of you, thinking of more ways to get you all to cut back on your spending and realize how much in our lives is really just 'stuff' that we don't need.

One of my dear friends told me yesterday that she thinks I should put all of the things I did to help our family survive for 4 years with little income and sometimes no income coming in.  For those of you who don't know the back story here is a quick little synopsis.

So, my husband worked for a big firm in Minneapolis as an Institutional Trader.  Well, they decided to move all operations to NY.  We could have chosen to gone there but, yuck, we are NOT New Yorkers and we would have been moving there on a Minnesota salary, no can do there.  So, he did get a very nice severance package.  So, after taking the summer off, he started to look for work and discovered how hard it was finding something in his field.

Finally, he found something and it was a good salary, actually about $20,000 more a year than he had made before!  Which was great since we were expecting our 3rd child.  So, he works there thinking he is going to be there for a long time and such.  Well, when our 3rd baby was about 6 months old, he got laid off.  Yikes.  We knew it was hard just a year earlier, how is this going to work?

Well, it didn't work out well.  At first my husband thought he could trade for himself...apparently, he is MUCH better at trading other people's money than his own...the fear factor comes in to play too much with your own money.  He did that for a while but, never really making more than just enough to pay the mortgage and a handful of other bills but, not all of them.  Plus, we had purchased a desktop and a laptop on credit for his new adventure. 

Then, after figuring out that wasn't working, he tried to start a company with some friends....didn't work, then he did handyman jobs just to get groceries.  We were NOT doing well.  All of our bills were piling up, our babies were growing, things needed to be paid and weren't getting paid.  For a while there, we had absolutely NO money coming in. 

Then, at Christmas time Steve put an ad out and hung Christmas lights for people, that paid enough for us to buy the children Christmas gifts that year, another year past, he did the same thing the next year.  Now he did have a job, it was decent pay however, still 1/2 of what he had made before getting laid off.  But, it was helping to stop the bleeding.  I in the meantime was selling things like mad on eBay and purchasing most of the children's clothing on there too.  Our son was now at a private school for Kindergarten.....bills piling up even more.

We have been going to a food shelf monthly for about 2 years at this point in time.  Our mortgage payments are getting made less and less.  We discover our children all have wheat and dairy allergies, our grocery bills triple just from that alone.  Times are getting dark and desperate. 

We feel that things might be starting to get better, things are going ok at his new job, pay still isn't terrific but, it is a paycheck.  Steve still can't get a 2nd job anywhere as they won't hire him because he is over qualified for everything.  I am working once in a while for a law firm at this point to try and help.  We pawn our watches to pay some bills and to help get us some spending money for our annual family Florida trip(Steve's mom pays for)

Well, we decide it is now or never for the 4th baby, things are stabilizing a bit.  The day we find out we are pregnant with our 4th...is also the day Steve is no longer working at his job.  Wow, now what do we do?   A miracle happened just before that...we get a bit of inheritance....we quickly decide how to split it up.  We quickly start a remodel on the kitchen...if there are going to be 6 people in this house, we can't live in a 9x10 kitchen next to a 10x10 dining room.  Construction starts.  6 weeks later we have a new larger kitchen.  We have paid off some bills, tried to pay some parts of others but, they are still piling up again. 

No money, things are bad...what are we going to do?  We are told we are too poor to file Bankruptcy yet, the notices keep coming for those Sheriff's auctions on our house, we can't lose our house!  We just can't. 

Steve is interviewing everywhere for every kind of job.  He is desperate, we are desperate, wow, this is really getting bad.  Finally Jan 08 Steve gets in touch with someone and they put him in contact with someone else.  Steve battles his way into the interview with shoes that have holes on the bottom in the middle of winter, I think we had to borrow money for him to pay for parking downtown.  Finally, he gets a job.  It is scary again, no benefits, salary is a draw, no guarantees.  This is NOT what I wanted, I wanted insurance, paid vacations, salary, and a bit of stability.  This is too risky, I am afraid.  However, I trust my husband again, I know he can't fail, he knows he can't fail.

Well, here we are 15 months later, he is still there.  Things are going well.  We are still digging our house out of massive debt and ourselves however, there is a light we can see it now!

We have 4 great children, our marriage is strong and close, we have great friends and we even have some money to spare monthly to put into savings.  We aren't out of the woods yet but, we aren't lost in them anymore either.

We still live like we are poor and we still hold our breaths right before each paycheck is supposed to come.  We still can't believe they come on a regular basis.  We still find it hard to believe we aren't going to the food shelf anymore.  I struggle still with spending any money as I am so afraid it will all go away again.  It could, who are we kidding, it could all go away again for sure, I think many of us who felt we were safe are feeling a bit nervous now.

I am telling you all, from first hand experience, be smart, live like you are poor.  Live like you can't afford things.  Think about all of your purchases before you make them, do you really need that new cell phone?  Do you really need that new TV, that new laptop, iPod?

My best advice to all of you is when/if you or your spouse ever gets a new/higher paying job or gets raise, continue to live on your old salary and put the rest away.  Don't live beyond your means and cut up those credit cards!  I am so grateful that we didn't have a lot in credit card debt!  That would have sunk us for sure.

We actually have not ONE credit card and not really sure we ever will.  What is in our checking account/savings account is all we have in our world...when it is out of money, we are out of money.  There is no back up plan on a credit card....that is too dangerous.  We need to balance and manage our money every month/week/day.  We need to make sure it is going to last the entire month and then some.  We need to plan for those car repairs, those household expenses that come up.  We try and put away the same amount of money each month for our family vacations so when it is time to take them, it isn't such a big gulp of money.

Nothing, not one thing of ours goes on a credit card, not ONE thing.  We buy nothing with credit.  We still have only one car and won't buy a 2nd until we can pay cash for it.  We will not add on to our house unless we can pay cash for it.  We won't move to another house until we can put a substantial amount down on it to keep our mortgage around the same as ours already is.

We are afraid, it is good to be fearful.  Nothing is promised.  Nothing is guaranteed.  God does not promise us that life will be easy.  The world doesn't promise us that either. 

Live like you are poor.  Don't live like you are cheap though, there is a difference!  Tithe your 10% or more, give to those who might be struggling, help out your local charities, continue to give the way you have always given unless it will put your family in financial hardship.  But, your tithe and your other giving should be one of the last things you cut back on.  There are many other things in your life you can cut back on first.

Ladies, I have said it before, I will say it again, you don't need designer jeans, you don't need to shop at certain stores or even certain areas...ie 50th and France, you don't need computer upgrades or the latest and greatest phone all your friends have.  We aren't in high school anymore living off our parents dime...this is the real life, most of us have children, most of us have others we are responsible for and most of us have spouses too.  We should be cutting back on our haircuts, our colorings, our waxings, our shoes, oh yes, I said shoes!  We don't need to be going to Starbucks for coffee, make it at home! We don't need to drink wine with dinner or buy gifts for our friends. 

These are tough and very uncertain times we are heading into.  We don't know what the future holds.  But, we can control some of our future by starting to cut back today and save, pay off any bills you can and don't create any new ones!

Lean on your friends and family and most of all God in these times.  We ALL need each other.

Blessings to you all,

Liza

Happy Anniversary to me!

Good Glorious Morning to you all!

Wow, Christmas is finally upon us.  Can't believe it all starts tomorrow.

Oh, and it is snowing again, it is so beautiful and fluffy.  I love it!

I am in a terrific mood today.  Christmas is tomorrow, it is snowing, and yesterday was my wedding anniversary and my husband and I actually got to go out for it for, I think, the first time in 2-3 years!  We had a great time, we went to PFChangs for dinner.

We just sat at the bar, had a beer, apps, and yummy, yummy dinners.  I had a new dish there, I can't even remember what is was...dali chicken or something?  It was so good, LOTS of heat.  It had chili peppers, chicken(unbreaded) and yukon gold potatoes, it truly was yummy.  Steve had PF Changs version of General Tso's chicken...he said it was good but, WAY too spicy this time.  I think there can almost be no such thing!  Especially in Asian food. 

Oh, we also had Lettuce Wraps for an app.  Those were good too and we reminisced about how when our son was little, we used to go to PF Chang's a lot and our son would devour the lettuce wraps.  It was before we had other babies so, he had to be 1. 

I then did something I have never done before in my life and I can't believe how nervous I was!  I had heard on the radio yesterday someone call in and tell of their Christmas tradition of leaving a $100 bill for a tip to their server over the Christmas season. 

So, now, I didn't leave a $100 bill because frankly, didn't have one and I felt for my first time doing this, I might really freak out if I did that.  But, we left a tip of the exact same amount of our bill.  It felt awesome!  Really, awesome.  I was so nervous because I didn't want her to see it and so I couldn't get out of the restaurant fast enough but, it was so cool to do that. 

I hope it helps that person to feel some joy or a little spring in their step today.  I highly recommend you try that once in life!  Whether you leave the $100 bill or even a $50 or if you put a super high tip on your credit card.  Just do it once.  You won't ever know how it made that person feel but, I can assure you they will be surprised and maybe it will really help them out.

Ok, so next we went to see a movie.  Yes, we actually got to go out to dinner and a movie!  So, we saw the movie 4Christmas's.  It was average.  Started out really good but, finished totally average leaning toward not good.

But, it was a movie!  Although, I would say the trailer for "Yes Man" with Jim Carey looked completely different from the commercials and looks really good!  Steve and I decided we really wanted to see that movie.  Of course, I would love to see the movie "Confessions of a shopaholic" but, hahaha, Steve would never go see that movie.

Oh, I just have to say something here, my children.  Oh, I love them but, they can't leave me alone for just 5 minutes to finish this blog!  I was on such a roll and then they all woke up.  Then, I made them all breakfast, got them all dressed and such and now, they can't leave me alone just for a quick moment to finish this......

Ok, now that I ranted and raved, they are leaving me alone.  Plus, freaking out because I am trying to get to my Zumba Dance Party today!

So, sorry to end this sort of in the middle but, I need to go.  I will try to finish it later and I need to get another Christmas true story written too.

Take care and I will write more later.

-Liza

The True Meaning of Santa

Hi Everyone,

Ok for those of you who live in Minnesota like myself....can we say "BRRRRRR!"  Holy cow, just got home from trying not to freeze my 6 month old and my 5 year old.  We had some errands to run and it was crazy cold and windy plus, slippery out.

I am not leaving the house again today, you can't make me, I will not! 

I do have a couple things to bring up though...Oh, I know, here she goes again :-)

Ok, so first....when did Santa become the only face of Christmas and two, do people in need take a break from the cold?

So....really, I went to a baby store to get my daughter a high chair...NO, we don't have a high chair left over from the other 3 ok!  Anyway, was shopping for a highchair which by the way...yes, I do have to be not very bright for not keeping a high chair, those things are expensive!  So, I also know that I want to find a cute Christmas bib for her too.  Well, I love those big bibs that you just put over their head and it covers them in the back and front.  Well, they only had one and it said in big letter, I 'heart' SANTA.  Granted, of course we all love Santa however, my baby doesn't know Santa yet and really?  That is all we can say about Christmas?

So, I ended up getting just a normal bib that says on it, Mi Primera Navidad....which for those of you who don't know Spanish means, 'my first Christmas'.  It has a tree on it and that is about it.  It was the closest thing I could find to the least amount of consumerism.

Now, Santa is great but, isn't it about Jesus?  And for those of you who don't think Christmas is about Jesus, why do you celebrate Christmas then?  If you don't celebrate the birth of Jesus...maybe you shouldn't celebrate CHRISTmas but, you should celebrate Santamas...or something.

Also, for those of you who don't continue to do Santa after your children find out....well, why not?  It is all about the 'Spirit' of Santa.  I had a dear friend of mine decide the other year to come clean with her son about Santa...I said, 'you know that he was a real person, a saint'.  She said, 'Well, you and I have different beliefs about that'  Meaning...I was raised Catholic and we believe in Saints.  However, I really meant it differently and I am so bad with putting things into words on the spot but, I finally can explain it to everyone about the 'Spirit of Santa'.

Santa comes from about the 3rd Century.  There was a young boy named Nicholas.  He loved God and at an early age was already a strong Christian leader.  By his teens he was often called the 'bishop boy' and was loved by the entire community.

His family was very wealthy and from the moment he received his inheritance, he began to give his money away to the poor/needy.  He especially loved to give gifts to children although, he always did it secretly.

Legend has it that Nicholas found out a family was too poor to pay for their 3 daughters wedding dowries.  He wanted to help but, didn't want anyone to know it was him.  So, he climbed onto their roof and threw a gold coin down the chimney.  The coin landed in the oldest girl's stocking as it hung by the fireplace to dry.  The 2nd daughter's dowry was provided the same way.  So, when  the 3rd daughter was to marry, the father sat up on the roof to see who was doing this.  Nicholas's secret was revealed and he was loved even more.

Hundreds of years later he was declared Saint Nicholas pronounced Sinter Klaas by the Dutch.  Well, the Dutch also gave him his name of Kris Kringle...which comes from the Dutch name Christkindle meaning, Christ Child. 

So, truth is, all of the names and the legend of Santa all reveal the giving heart of God who is the original Father Christmas.

So, really, for all of you who thought celebrating Santamas instead of Christmas was a great idea...sorry, it still is all about GOD.

And for those of you who don't believe in the spirit of Santa...again, all about Giving and God.

'Tis the season of giving, give joyfully and often!

Now, onto my number 2 thing.....do the poor/needy/just barely hanging on people take a break from their needs due to the cold?  Or is it just people from Edina?

As I was out and about running my errands, I got a voicemail from the person who runs our Salvation Army Bell Ringing at church.  He had called to tell me that due to the cold, all the bell ringing was canceled tonight.  Really?  Really?!

Does that mean the Salvation Army doesn't need our money today?  Does that mean the people who are relying on the Salvation Army don't need the money that we couldn't have helped collect tonight?  We are so bummed, yes, it is super cold, yes, it is probably dangerously cold out there but, we love ringing the bell, feeling the spirit of giving, feeling the spirit of Christmas and raising money for those who really need help.

I think I have answered my own questions and will have Steve drop in money in our bucket we were supposed to ring tonight....please, if you are out tonight and you see an empty bucket....please put some money into it....the people who are receiving that money aren't taking a break from the cold so, we shouldn't take a break from the cold in our giving either.

I have to go, my other daughter is home from school.

Keep warm and think about others as you sit in your warm house today.

Blessings to you all,

Liza

Bargain Shopping

Good evening everyone~

I have had the best day today!  It is snowing and it is so beautiful, the temp isn't too cold and I can feel, smell, see, touch, and almost taste Christmas!  I can't quite taste it yet as I haven't started any of my baking yet but, I will!

This is such a glorious time of year for me.  I love the snow, the spirit of Christmas, the joy I get from watching my children, I love how my house looks decorated, I love the smell of the Christmas tree, and snow, did I mention how much I love snow?!

Things are also good because we FINALLY got the paycheck we had been waiting over a month for and I am so happy!  I can finally pay bills, buy gifts, groceries, and other things and still put a little away.  I totally feel rich although, lol, so far from it but, after 5 years of not having much, it feels wonderful to have something finally.

I am almost done purchasing all the gifts for the family we 'adopted' from our church.  Although, I still need to purchase something for the mom.  It is hard for me because I figure she is very similar to me and doesn't buy anything for herself ever.  I haven't purchased myself anything in so long, I don't even know what to get this mom!  I couldn't think of one thing that would make me feel special this year.  Isn't that crazy? 

I am still in the mindset that I need to sacrifice for the children and my husband.  Even though we have enough for me to get myself something, I can't do it.  Plus, I wouldn't even know where to begin!  I think this is how that other mom feels too. 

Every Christmas and Birthday my husband thinks I am being a scrooge because I don't want a party, any gifts or a celebration of any kind that involves me or focuses on me.  I feel like we need to focus on the children or my husband.

I am discovering as I am getting older, not sure if it is age or our past financial issues but, I really feel uncomfortable with getting gifts...especially when no one else is..like a birthday.  However, I find myself also thinking that whatever anyone buys me is WAY too expensive or how I could have bought it much cheaper and they shouldn't spend that much.  I also really flip out when I know something wasn't purchased on sale.

My mother in law is the best.  She is one of the nicest, kindest, self-less people I have ever met.  She has a heart of gold and loves her family endlessly.  She also just buys stuff.  She never buys anything on sale, in fact, I don't even know if she has ever browsed a sales rack!  It is funny, when she gives a gift receipt and it is something in the wrong style/size or whatever, I can usually get myself 5-7 items for the 1 item she bought for me. 

Oh, I love it when she gives me Gift Cards.  I can make those things stretch further than anyone I know!  See, most people when they get a gift card think of the free money and take that opportunity to purchase themselves something frivolous or expensive.  I take it on as a challenge to see how many things I can buy with that card and how long I can make it last and what sort of great deals can I get myself with it.

Seriously, a $100 gift card at Christmas I can make last until my birthday...in July and vice versa.  I can usually get about 15 or more items with it too.  I love it!

If my mother in law is a retailers dream, I am their worst nightmare.  I think of the challenge ahead and also frankly, I refuse to purchase anything if it isn't on sale 50% or more.  Yes, I might not have the latest, greatest stuff but, that stuff is so trendy anyway, who cares?

I can say though, one of these days, I would love to hire a personal shopper to pick out clothes for me and I would just buy whatever she picked out(that I liked of course!).  But, alas, that is just a dream because I know I would never be able to swallow the bill or the fact that I know everything she picked out for me would be on sale in a month or less.

When I buy things I think my biggest, for lack of a better term, fear is that I am missing out on some great deal/sale.  I am the same way at the grocery store.

Absolutely no way will I spend a ton of money on meat.  I will only purchase meat if it is on sale or special.  I think meat is crazy expensive and there are so many other options for us for meals that we can wait until it is on sale.

It is funny, my children are total price tag buyers too.  My son knows the price of everything he buys and many times I hear him tell his sisters that the $15 Barbie they want is "way too expensive".  I love him!

Have I always been this cheap?  Yes, will I always be, I am not sure, I hope I continue to maintain some of my cheapness though.  It is good right?

So anyway...back to the mother of the family we are helping out this Christmas...any ideas on what to purchase for her?  They are from a pretty poor inner city church...many of the families don't even have the basics.  I am hoping to not only get her something practical but, also one small thing just for her that she will think is a bit frivolous.

Please, send me some ideas....I need this done by this weekend.

I need to head off to bed...way past my bedtime,

Blessings to you all,

Liza