How many snacks do we really need to feel left out?

Good Afternoon Everyone!

I had no intention of writing a blog today but, apparently, God had other plans!  Ok Lord, I am listening and following.

I wish I could tell you all how much God is pushing my husband and I right now, in a good push of course.  It is amazing how much he is talking to us and the people he is bringing into our lives right now.  You CAN NOT tell me this is all just a coincidence.  Just too many factors coming into play here.  Anyway, on to the blog.

Food, yes food again.  Food is an issue in our house.  Actually, I take offense to that!  Food isn't an issue in OUR house because we don't find issue with it, the world, our family and our friends have issue with our food 'issues'.  How we eat has become the norm in our family and many families like us so much that very rarely do our children even complain or talk about it until it is pointed out to them by someone else.

Today is that day when someone pointed it out to my son.  My son who hasn't complained about his food choices or what others may call limitations in weeks did this afternoon.  I got a phone call from his school about 15 minutes ago telling me it was someone's last day at that school today and they brought in ice cream for a treat.  OK, first of all, ice cream for a treat, for what?  A celebration that you are leaving that school, a birthday that coincides with you leaving that school, are you graduating early (they are in 3rd Grade so THAT probably isn't it) but, why a 'treat'? 

Our society focuses so much on food that it is no wonder we have children that are obese, children with eating disorders earlier and earlier in life, a multi-billion dollar a year diet industry and in general, millions of people obsessed with food or staying away from food!  Add to that children with food allergies or sensitivities and it is crazy! 

So, I answer the phone and my son's special ed teacher tells me that the class is eating ice cream and my son would like to eat some and wondering if it is OK.  First of all, is it NOT in his IEP that he can not eat ANYTHING unless it comes from home?  Also, it is in his files and on his medical forms in many different places that he is not allowed to eat wheat or dairy...hello?!  So, after all of those thoughts go through my head, I calmly and kindly say, "Oh, bummer, no he can't have any ice cream".  She then tells me why the class is eating ice cream and that my son feels left out..."of course he does, wouldn't you?" is what I want to say but, instead I calmly and kindly say, "Well, he can't have any."  She then asks me if I would be willing to tell him that.  Sure(chicken sh**, is what I think but, do not say).  So, my son gets on the phone and I am super excited to hear his sweet voice come on the phone and hear, "Hi Momma!"  OH, my heart melts every time I hear that from him!  So I excitedly say hello to him and ask him about his day and chit chat with him.  Then, I say to him, "So, I hear someone is leaving and they brought ice cream for a treat."  His voice instantly changes into a hint of sadness when he says, "yea". 
I then let him know I just found out about it and that his baby sister is still sleeping and school gets out in 15 minutes so, there is no way I would be able to bring him a snack to school but, I promise him he can have a snack when he gets home.  He protests.  I then remind him that ice cream has not only dairy but, often wheat, corn syrup and sugar in it too, all things he can't eat.

He gets bummed out a bit more but, understands.  It is hard to hear an 8 year old have to make such grown up decisions!  You know, he has to be so grown up so often in life being the oldest and only boy in the family but, then you add his food choices, his Asperger's, the huge amount of supplements/vitamins he needs to take, and no wonder he sometimes lashes out in school!  He is so grown up in so many other areas when is he allowed to just be an 8 year old boy?!

We end our conversation on a good note and we hang up.  Then, the blogging comes in.  I have had many conversations with other parents about food.  See, in Minnesota it is a State Law that you cannot have any food brought in to share unless it is store purchased and in many cases has the ingredients label on it.   That is also why there is no sharing of school lunches anymore or trading of snacks.  I get it because of food allergies the no trading of school lunches and such however, when you put a law in there to 'protect' children with food allergies by telling us everything needs to be store bought, you are actually excluding many of those same children from classroom activities and parties.

There are VERY few choices for school treats to bring that are wheat/gluten free, dairy/casein free, and then you add in corn syrup, sugar, and egg free and you have pretty much eliminated my son and sometimes my daughter's from participating with their classmates.  Now, for my son, who is already dis-engaged often and pulled out frequently and misses a lot of 'normal' class time and class participation, you further alienate him by bringing in treats such as ice cream, cupcakes, candy, etc. for parties.  The hardest pill to swallow with all of this is, NOT once has any parent ever asked the teacher if there are any food allergies in the classroom they should be aware of.  Something I never forget NOT to do.  I always ask about food allergies when I bring in treats.  But, more often than not, I try to bring in 100% juice boxes or fruit snacks that are 100% fruit.  I wish I could bring in cupcakes and cookies but, I have to make those things for my children and I can't share them with the rest of the class.  Very often, I ask the teachers to let me know in advance so that I can either make something just for my children or I can go to one of our local gluten free/dairy free bakeries and pick something up for my children.

Very often though, I get a call just minutes before the treats are served with the teacher telling me they didn't know the parents were bringing anything in, the parents just surprised the teacher and class with treats.  Again, first of all, we all love surprises but, you need to tell teachers in advance and two, hello...once again did you ever think someone in the class might not be able to eat what you bring and you might be leaving someone out?

Same goes for all those sporting events that all of us parents bring treats to, whatever happened to a parent bringing a gigantic bag of cut up oranges and some water in a thermos with cups?  Since when do 6 year olds need to drink Gatorade and Goldfish to replenish themselves after a soccer game?  We don't need to celebrate every single occasion in life with food and drink especially sugary snacks and high fat, high calorie things do we?

I am afraid that we all are a bit guilty in this epidemic we call obesity.  Everything is usually OK in moderation (unless you have a food allergy) but, how much is moderation when weekly if not more our children are having parties in school, playing how many sports a week with how many snacks after wards and then you add drive-thru dinners, take-outs and pizza delivery and before you know it your children's diets consist of mostly saturated fats, various corn syrups, food coloring, and preservatives than fruits and veggies.

Hey, I am in no way saying our treats need to disappear from schools or from sporting events but, how about a treat at the END of the soccer season instead of every game?  Or how about we only celebrate birthdays or holidays and instead of only bringing in cupcakes and ice cream we once in a while include something fun like a grab bag of non-edible treats to students or little wrapped gifts for everyone in the class of some 'goodies' to make them all feel special? 

I need to stop here, 2 of my 3 are home from school and the baby is now awake too and we have dance pictures tonight that I need to somehow get hair done for and make sure the costume is primped and ready to go so my daughter looks her 'best' for pictures. 

Thanks for reading and be on the look out for some hopefully big changes coming to this site soon! :-)  I am hoping to do an 'official' launch of my blog soon!

Blessings to you all and welcome all of my new readers! 

-Liza

Comments

[Jenelyn Russo]

We don't have any food allergies in our family, and I'm probably one of the big offenders with this in bringing treats to school. We limit the amount of sugar and "special treats" for our girls, but when there is a celebration to be had, it's all about food. Maybe it's the Italian from my hubby's side, I don't know. Your post made me think of that new show that's coming on "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution". Are you planning on watching it? It will be interesting to see what he is able to accomplish.

[Liza]

I am planning on watching that! I am excited to see what he does but, also afraid from just seeing the commercials that many will sort of tune out because it seems to try and only target the morbidly obese and not just the 'hovering' on being obese and wonder truly how many parents will relate that show to their own families.
I hope it is good and sends a good message that reaches others.
Oh and Jenelyn...I am a foodie so, everything we do revolves around food because I personally LOVE food and my husband feels when he gets fed, it is love...so, we totally are those parents too but, can't be anymore because of the MN law not allowing homebaked things in schools for treats anymore...sucks! :-)