Hello Everyone!
Phew...I have to tell you all that I LOVE it when I get a ton of 'hits' on a certain blog title. The 2 that are getting the most hits on are by far some of the grosser ones....'Lice' and 'Natural and Orgasmic Births', if you haven't read those yet, I suggest you do...they seem to be the favorites so far.
So, today I have 2 topics that are bugging me enough I feel the desire to write about them. I can't decide...the first is the topic of colic and babies....and how I don't really know if I believe there really is such a thing as 'unexplained crying'. The second is deciphering between a 'want' and a 'need'.
I think I will write about the second one today and hit on the other one later since it is a New Year, maybe the want/need issue could be someone's resolution (if you make those).
Ok, so, with Christmas just behind us and all of the HUGE sales before and after I have been hearing a lot of "Oh, I finally got that coat I needed so bad" or "OH, look at these great new boots, I really needed them" etc....
So, I don't think any of this stuff ever bothered me until I had to really decipher between our family's needs and our wants to just survive day to day.
It was a really hard lesson to learn and I know many people that are going through their own financial issues and I hope this helps some of you and even those of you not in any financial crisis, I hope this helps you think about what you are saying before you say it.
Sorry, this might be a little bit of a lecture as I am still pretty close to the whole no money deal and the feelings are still pretty strong and frankly, it is a pretty emotional deal for me.
Oh, where to start. Ok, when you purchase something you have wanted for a long time, it most often than not is something you have wanted forever! That is me just last week. I have been wanting a pair of black boots since I was 16...no lie! However, I have never felt in a position that I could afford them and when I felt I could afford them, I could never find a pair that I liked. It has been a constant 'want/desire' of mine for 20 years.
Well, last week I went to Macy's to spend some gift certificates we had and they were having a huge women's shoe sale. Well, I thought I would check and see if they had anything in my size or anything I liked. I looked throughout the whole department...nothing. Then, I saw this one pair and they were only $59.99...that seemed reasonable. They were marked down from $89.99 so, that was pretty good. Then, I asked if they were in 9 1/2...yes, I have HUGE feet. Well, they only had one pair left and they were a size 9. I almost walked away but, thought...oh what the hay...just try them on. They fit!
Plus, they were just basic black boots, no buckles, no pointed toes, no spiked heel, just plain basic and cute black boots. So, I decided to splurge! I told the guy I would take them and he gave me my total. He said, "Ok, that will be $45.50" What?!!! Even cheaper than I thought...SOLD for sure now. I wouldn't even have buyers remorse over boots at that price.
Well, I loved that I finally had a pair of boots. However, no sooner than did I try them on at home did I hear myself saying to my husband, "Now, I need to find a good outfit to go with these." WHAT???!!!
I instantly caught myself in what I was saying and cringed. No, I didn't need a new outfit to match these boots, I didn't even need these boots. It was just something I had wanted for a long time.
I saw the other day something where someone said they finally got that great dress coat they had needed so bad and it was over a $100 off! Well, really, did they really need that coat? Did they just move to Minnesota and have no other coat? Or did they loose all of their coats in a fire or did that persons last coat finally fall apart after years of wearing it and they needed to replace it?
There are needs and then there are wants that we convince ourselves are needs.
Women don't need to go shopping every week or even every month. You don't need a new pair of jeans or a new shirt for that party you are having. You don't need to even shop with each new season. You don't need to shop.
It is nice to shop, it is probably fun to shop. However, at what price are you shopping at? Is your shopping affecting others in your family? Are your so called 'needs' helping or hurting you, your spouse, your family?
More importantly, how are you paying for your needs? Are you paying for them in cash or are you putting them on a credit card that is already filled with a bunch of other purchases that were 'needed'.
When you are buying new things for your home, are you buying just the necessities such as toilet paper and soap or are you also buying that cute new dresser or that new rug or oh that great new mirror? Are they really needs?
I think our society tells us we need so much. I will give you all another example of this in our family. So, we splurged and Santa bought our family a Wii and Wii Fit for Christmas. Well, my husband thought our TV's were so old and we 'needed' a new one. I have been fighting the TV issue for a long time as I feel they are insanely expensive and frankly, there is a list a mile long of other "needs" I 'need/want' before I would ever want a TV.
Well, after seeing our neighbors got a new tv and showing me in last Sunday's newspaper all the great deals on TV's, my darling hubby came home with one! It is gigantic...I had made a deal with him that we could get one if we put it in a certain place because it was so big. He didn't think that was a good idea so, now we have this obnoxious sized TV in our basement just for the Wii...because we needed it.
Ok...so, a few days after we got the TV we needed so bad. I had a sitter come over and I was actually embarrassed at all of the new 'stuff' we had in our basement. It really was obnoxious in my mind. Not to mention, I can't even watch TV in the basement because the TV is so flipping big it gives me a headache. I get sick to my stomach working out on the Wii with it and frankly, our couches down there are 2nd hand and really NEED to be cleaned before I want to sit on them!
But, we have this great new TV that we needed.
Do you get what I am talking about? Our society and frankly, our friends, tell us we need a lot more than we really do. All we need is a roof over our heads, it doesn't have to be a mansion. We need food to eat, it doesn't have to be crab legs and sushi. We need water, it doesn't have to be Evian or Fuji, it doesn't even need to come from a bottle. We need clothing however, it doesn't need to be from Macy's, Hot Mama, Anthropology, or Banana Republic. Yes, you probably need a car however, do you need 2? 3? Can you take a bus to work instead? Can you carpool?
There are many places in our lives where our wants have overwhelmed our needs. If we just take a step back and think 'do I really NEED this or do I just want this' things might not seem so hard financially. Things might not be so stressful and you might not truly offend someone who really is in NEED of things and just 'wants' to be able to get the very basics 'needed' to live.
Blessings to you all today.
-Liza
